Biting your tongue when it comes to visitors!!

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

One of my biggest pet peeves of being a nurse is having to bite your tongue when its comes to a patient's family members/visitors. I work on a surgical care floor and most of our rooms are semi-private meaning 2 beds in a room. Most of the time patients come to our floor from surgery with like 4,5,6, or more visitors. They all cram into the room with babies crawling around, laughing and staring at the patient in the other bed. How uncomfortable for that poor patient who has to put up with their roommate's visitors and for the patient as well who is usually in pain and/or very sleepy and doesnt feel up to all the commotion. Sometimes people just dont think....they can be so inconsiderate. The worst is when I come into the room to assess the patient/take vitals, etc. and the family makes no attempt to leave or get out of the way and I have to step over them and squeeze between them, etc. Im trying to listen to breath sounds, bowel sounds, and they are talking to the patient. Most of the time I ask them to please step out of the room for a few minutes and usually they act like I am being completely rude and out of line. One time I was out in the hall at a med cart when a patient came up from surgery and the transporters asked the family to please step out of the room until they got the patient into bed and the nurse checked the patient over. The family stood out in the hallway and talked about how there was no reason why they should have to leave and if we were doing our jobs right there would be no reason to hide anything. It was all I could do to keep my mouth shut.

Another thing that drives me nuts is when family members chase you down he hallway or come up to the desk constantly with water pitchers that need refilled or to say that so and so needs pain medicine. That is what the call light is for. Unless its an emergency....use the dang call light!! Usually if they find you in the hallway or at the desk you are busy doing something else or it is not your patient that they are making a request for and then you have to track down that nurse and tell them so and so needs this, or you have to stop what your doing and go fill a water pitcher. Sometimes its ok but other times you might be running around like crazy and dont have time to get someone water. I wish people would just THINK sometimes....anyone else feel the same way?? or am I being out of line?

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Specializes in General Surgery, Orthopaedics, ICU, ER.

I feel EXACTLY the same way. I used to love doing all days but now I've switched to mostly all night shifts and not having the family around being rude and demanding is bliss!! :D

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Specializes in ER.

Someday you should go to work with spurrs on your shoes.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

oh yea and last week I had a patient who was 42 years old, awake, totally competent to speak for themselves and their mother answered every question I asked the patient. I said are you having pain? the mother said "oh my goodness she is in so much pain right now." The patient was laying in bed with eyes closed when I entered the room. So I asked the patient again "you are having alot of pain? from 1 to 10 what is your pain?" the patient said "its not bad right now, about a 2." I thought "this is exactly why I asked the patient, not you." I mean the whole night the mother answered every question I asked with how she thought the question should be answered. It drove me nuts. People do that alot....they feel like they need to speak for the patient. Like "she needs to eat, she hasnt eaten in 24 hours, are you going to feed her soon?" and then you get something for the patient and they dont even want to eat right then. UGH

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Specializes in Burn, CCU, CTICU, Trauma, SICU, MICU.

I *dont* keep my mouth shut! I am not impolite, but we are working and we are there to try to keep their family member safe and comfortable - at times this means being inconvenience them. Unfortunately, that is part of the deal. I am not climbing over Uncle Joe to reach the patient, I am also not going to ask the patient about her period, bowel habits, pregnancy risks, etc... with all the visitors there! They simply need to leave and may come back when I am finished! When they comment on trying to hide things, I have no problem explaining it thoroughly and have not been above calling security for people that are obstructive and aggressive.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

Unless the patient is about to fall or do something else unsafe, I do not step over visitors, ever. Nor do I feel any guilt about asking visitors to leave, ever.

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

It's definitely important to have space & privacy with patients, I think. So, yes, asking family/friends to step out of the room during the assessment/history taking is a great idea. However, I've noticed a tone to a couple of the posters and I pose a question. Have you yourself ever been a family member of a hospital patient? Sometimes, the behaviors you describe by the family members are based on fear and stress and they really don't mean to be obnoxious. Perhaps an explanation of why you need space/privacy? If no success, then by all means a more forceful approach. I know things are crazy busy with admitting patients, but really, compassion should extend to the family as well. I still remember the nurse the night my husband died....

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I work on a post-surgical orthopedic floor and experience this all the time. The thing that really annoys me is when the patient is barfing and they all stand around and chat and get in the pts face. Would you want someone in your face when you are vomiting? No!

The other thing is when the pt is on the bedpan/commode and and I ask the visitors to leave and they get mad. Why do they want to watch this person use the potty, and why do they thing the pt wants them there? Just bc you are find with it doesn't mean the pt is!

One last one. Often getting these people out of bed is a two man job the first couple times post surgery and we all pitch in. I hate when the pts spouse or whoever stands there and says "oh I don't think she needs to get in a chair" or "this is how I would do it". Well you know what, I don't come to your job and tell you how to do it so get out of my way! and yes, she needs to sit up in a chair, and she is perfectly capable of doing so if you would quit babying her!

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
It's definitely important to have space & privacy with patients, I think. So, yes, asking family/friends to step out of the room during the assessment/history taking is a great idea. However, I've noticed a tone to a couple of the posters and I pose a question. Have you yourself ever been a family member of a hospital patient? Sometimes, the behaviors you describe by the family members are based on fear and stress and they really don't mean to be obnoxious. Perhaps an explanation of why you need space/privacy? If no success, then by all means a more forceful approach. I know things are crazy busy with admitting patients, but really, compassion should extend to the family as well. I still remember the nurse the night my husband died....

Yes, I have been a hospital patient and a family member of a hospital patient.

What I meant to convey in my post was a response to the the concept of having to "bite your tongue" or otherwise engage in conflict with family members. There is no compassion or other benefit to the patient from these conflicts. And there is no lack of compassion in simply stating, "Hi, I'm Altra, X's nurse. I need to assess X, give some meds, and take care of some things, so I'll have you step out to the waiting room now. I'll call you back when I'm through."

Wishy-washyness (for lack of a better term) breeds fear in family members, not appropriate, competent care.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.
oh yea and last week I had a patient who was 42 years old, awake, totally competent to speak for themselves and their mother answered every question I asked the patient. I said are you having pain? the mother said "oh my goodness she is in so much pain right now." The patient was laying in bed with eyes closed when I entered the room. So I asked the patient again "you are having alot of pain? from 1 to 10 what is your pain?" the patient said "its not bad right now, about a 2." I thought "this is exactly why I asked the patient, not you."

When that happens to me, I turn to whoever is answering and say, politely, "I understand your concern, but X is my patient, so I need to hear the answer from X."

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We just posted the "Only 2 visitors per patient at any given time" and we stick to this. It has increased patient satisfaction and of course the nurses'.

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Just for another prospective...

From the time I was 14-24, my Dad was in and out of hospitals. He would often ask me to get ice chips from for him. It wasn't that he NEEDED the ice chips right away, it was that he didn't want to bother the nurses with the request, when he had an able-bodied visitor. I didn't know that I was pestering the nurses, I thought I was doing them a favor,...so, sometimes, tactfully telling the visitor that ringing the bell allows them to operate more efficiently is necessary--not once in the 10 years did anyone explain to me that I wasn't doing them a favor.

The various hospitals had different set-ups and policies, but the other thing of note...if the ice machine was in an accessible location, I was happy to get the chips my self, but felt like I might be doing something wrong, so I always asked(probably unnecessary bugging the nurse in the process)

My point is, that some pestering visitors might be a bother because they're trying hard not bother anyone, so telling the visitors what to do(and why) not only makes your job easier, but allows visitors to do what they came to do in the first place--provide comfort and aide to patient.

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