Have you ever been referred to as Nurse Ratched? I have, and it really bothers me especially because I know I'm not that type of nurse. I am honest, caring, compassionate, and depended on by many. I was accused of being Nurse Ratched by a family member, because I am "firm and I make people do things they don't want to do." Nurse Ratched was so much more than just firm. She was cold, heartless, controlling, and humiliating. Definitely not someone any nurse wants to be compared to.
I have expressed how I feel about this, as it is an ongoing joke in my family, and I'm at my limit. The alternative could be that I don't give a care, let them eat and drink whatever they want, skip taking their medications, blow off doctor's recommendations, and slowly kill themselves. Then tell them don't come to me complaining of every little ailment and want advice, because I'm Nurse Ratched...remember?
We could argue the actions and motivations of Nurse Ratched (or McMurphy himself, or the Chief, for that matter) all day long, but I submit this question: what do we do to patients right now that is going to look positively barbaric 50 years from now?
I've said the same things, to students and peers, many times, when they are carrying on about how ignorant and barbaric psych treatment (and medical treatment in general) used to be. They were doing the best they could for people with what they had to work with. We feel so superior and enlightened, but, 50 years from now, we will be the ignorant barbarians, and people looking back at us will wonder what on earth we were thinking. Gives you a sense of perspective to think about it that way ...
I agree with GrnTea to not engage your family. I have come to the realization that I could be the top expert in the world of (fill in the blank), and my family will still treat me like I don't know anything and I'm 15 years old. So I choose not to engage anymore. I am the youngest of my siblings and I think there is great resistance to upsetting the power balance of so many decades, so I don't get involved anymore and life is much more pleasant for me and my immediate family:) My husband is also the youngest of his siblings and has had similar experiences.
Slightly off topic, but does anyone else find it ridiculous that students are assigned to watch this movie during psych rotation in nursing school? We had the choice between this movie and A Beautiful Mind, and we had to complete a personal reflection afterwards. I told my instructor I watched a documentary about John Nash instead because I didn't think that Hollywood portrayed his and his family's experience with mental health accurately. Since when do students watch ER episodes in Med/Surg or Nine Months in OB rotation?
I like it. 2 other great "psych" movies: Good Will Hunting and Ordinary People.
I submit this question: what do we do to patients right now that is going to look positively barbaric 50 years from now?
Thank you for posing this question - I think we need to consider everything we do in this light and not keep doing things "because that's what we do". (My comment is off-topic, I know, but I just had to respond to this. :) )
I think for most people who aren't working in the medical/health world, the label "nurse Ratched" is based on their perceptions. I can see why someone would earn that not-so-glamorous title if they are, as you said yourself "firm and make people do things they don't want to do."
No one likes to be brow beaten into compliance. It's a natural reaction. In most cases, it can come across as being a bit of a bully. I know I would probably have issues with this myself. I understand the aim is doing what is best for a given patient (or anyone else for that matter) but... It's all about perception.
I understand how frustrating it might get after a while, though... Perhaps ease up on the "I know what's best" mentality. Even if, in all likelihood, you do know what's best.
I have been told I am mean by my father. I refused to do for him what he could do for himself which kept him independent for an additional 5 years with my assistance. I have been firm with a few patients but also explaining the need for making sure they are able to maintain independence for as long as they can. I am also honest with my family which at times they do not want to hear. When you see a constant cycle of health choices and risky behavior then when asked for an opinion they do not like what they hear. I always remind them I am not a Physician and I do not make a diagnosis.
Sometimes people outside of our little nursing bubble just don't get *IT*. They don't get what we do, and how we do it. I was told last week by a family member that I was lucky - my job is easy and I only work three days a week. Obviously as a peds nurse, all I do is kiss boo boos and tuck children in at night. I have often said I wish that my family could do a "ride along" just one night so they could appreciate what I do and how I do it. It's very frustrating when the people you love don't give you the respect that your job deserves. Like I said, they just don't get it. I'm sorry. Try not to take it too personally. (I know, easier said than done)
You are so right! I would find it extremely stressful to be a Peds. Nurse! Whew! I floated there enough (helped, didn't take a patient assignment) and give you tons of credit! I agree....those outside of the profession don't understand...
I have not seen these movies that depict "Nurse Ratched" so I am out of the loop on what is being described, but maybe it is not you at all. Could it be that your accusers have what is know as Narcissist Personality Disorder (or some other MI)? This family member may be trying to "gaslight" you. I find it incredibly odd when some to ask me a question to just explode at the suggest (that was asked for). If you do not what an answer, do not ask the question. most NPD do not like being told what to do. They live in constant fear that someone is trying to control them in some way. Anyways, maybe it has nothing to do with you at all.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Home Care Peds & Faculty.
Proud nurse, you are not alone. I am beginning to be so sick over what is or what nursing has become or maybe what it always was. Nurses don't care. I worked with a nurse just recently. She was the medication nurse on the unit. Twelve out of twenty seven patients refused medications. Is that normal? Aren't nurses supposed to encourage patients to take their medications? I watched her talked down to the patients. She agitated a patient and the patient responded. "Don't talk to me like that, you don't know how to talk to people." The end result was: crisis was called and the patient was medicated with sedative and psychotropics via an injection. She is the talk of the hospital. She is so good. She is a good nurse. Really? I complain for safe practice and patient's safety. I'm a trouble maker. I cannot understand the logic. You are firm, I am firm. We are not supported. I will continue to do what I'm doing. I have learned to be firm and yet be soft. I do not mean calling patients sweetheart, honey or darling. I give patients rationales for what is being done. Patients appreciate you when it's all done and they are feeling better. You have to cover yourself with crocodile skin to work in nursing and maintain your sanity. For your sake! Maybe you shouldn't discuss work with your family. It's only a suggestion. Your shift ends when you sign off and walk out the door. You pick up your life and focus on you and yours.
Specializes in Medical Oncology, Alzheimer/dementia.
I have been told I am mean by my father. I refused to do for him what he could do for himself which kept him independent for an additional 5 years with my assistance. I have been firm with a few patients but also explaining the need for making sure they are able to maintain independence for as long as they can. I am also honest with my family which at times they do not want to hear. When you see a constant cycle of health choices and risky behavior then when asked for an opinion they do not like what they hear. I always remind them I am not a Physician and I do not make a diagnosis.
I could've written this post. This is exactly how I feel about maintaining independence. I try to explain to family that I may be firm at times, but it's only because I care.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
This seems to have gone a bit off track as I believe the OP was asking how to handle being called Nurse Ratched by friends and family memebers when she chided them about unhealthy habits. She did not specify that they asked for her opinion so my guess is she was not asked. I generally leave my family and friends alone and don't offer unsolicited medical/health advice. It they are doing things that aren't good for them it's likely they already know. If they wanted to do something about it they would.
I suffer from auto immune disfunction in the form of ulcerative colitis, fibromyalgia in 2012 I had 18 inches of my colon removed. I got serious about improving my health through diet and moderate exercise and have freed myself from pain medication entirely. When people comment I tell them what I did for me. If they want to hear more I tell them. I would rather enjoy my time with family and friends that spend it preaching and naggging at them.
Specializes in Medical Oncology, Alzheimer/dementia.
This seems to have gone a bit off track as I believe the OP was asking how to handle being called Nurse Ratched by friends and family memebers when she chided them about unhealthy habits. She did not specify that they asked for her opinion so my guess is she was not asked. I generally leave my family and friends alone and don't offer unsolicited medical/health advice. It they are doing things that aren't good for them it's likely they already know. If they wanted to do something about it they would.
I was specifically speaking about family members only, not friends. I don't offer unsolicited medical/health advice, but if I'm asked for my opinion I'm going to give it. Whatever questions I've asked or answered has been from them seeking me out. It's not like they don't have their own PMD and nurse at the office. Each member of my family has health benefits. I have bigger fish to fry than to preach or nag to my family.
More importantly, when they act interested in making changes is when I provide more information. When they do not follow through with medication regimines, doctor appointments, ect.. and continue to have problems, according to them I become Nurse Ratched. People don't always want to hear the truth, or make lifestyle changes. I get that. I am working on resolving my feelings about how my family sees me. Truth is, I will not be manipulated to be what they want me to be at their whim. Sometimes they want me (the daughter and sister), sometimes they want the nurse. I don't want someone coming to me when they aren't well asking for advice, then walk away mumbling that I'm Nurse Ratched when they hear something they don't like.
I have often said I wish that my family could do a "ride along" just one night so they could appreciate what I do and how I do it. It's very frustrating when the people you love don't give you the respect that your job deserves. Like I said, they just don't get it. I'm sorry. 
Try not to take it too personally. (I know, easier said than done)
elkpark
14,633 Posts
I've said the same things, to students and peers, many times, when they are carrying on about how ignorant and barbaric psych treatment (and medical treatment in general) used to be. They were doing the best they could for people with what they had to work with. We feel so superior and enlightened, but, 50 years from now, we will be the ignorant barbarians, and people looking back at us will wonder what on earth we were thinking. Gives you a sense of perspective to think about it that way ...