So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.
Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.
I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.
My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.
Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.
What should I do?
(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).
I think some of these comments are a little harsh. She's 17, not 39. I had a similar situation. My mom didn't think me being able to drive and work was important so she never taught me. I paid for my own lessons but never got enough practice to be proficient because my mom wouldn't let me practice in her car. I had no money to get a car. There was no public transportation when I lived at home and the only place close enough to walk to was an elementary school which wasn't going to hire a 16 year old.
I got a full scholarship and came to college right before I turned 17. I needed my mom's signature for EVERYTHING. It's not easy to just be independent as a minor, especially when your parents didn't help you develop the skills to be independent.
At least this girl is trying.
OP, I know it's hard to leave family behin but once you're 18, you might need to go to a school farther away so you can have more opportunities.
Can't you fill out your FAFSA now so you can at least qualify for govt loans rather than private loans that require a cosigner? Yes they expect your parents to contribute to the cost of college, but many parents are unable and while most parents can get parent plus loans that doesn't make financial sense at a time when they need to be saving for retirement and just able to pay the bills they already have. Parent plus loans don't consider a person's financial status or have income based repayment. The real problem with your mom cosigning or taking out loans is that these loans cannot be discharged in bankruptcy if she would be unable to pay in the future due to job loss or poor health. Over 100,000 senior citizens are having their social security garnished for past student loan debt so this is a very dangerous debt to have.
You will either need to take out govt student loans or change your plans, get a job and go to college part time or in a few years when you will be considered independent. Whatever you do take a personal finance class as soon as you can it will benefit you now and in the future. Student loans are serious business and the most dangerous debt out there so you need to be as informed as you can before you sign up.
If you don't qualify for loans, then get a job and consider going part time to the local public community college taking your science and math prereqs. Consider getting a job as a CNA so you have some healthcare experience it will make getting a nursing job easier in the end.
What does this have do with her situation? Nothing at all!!!
she's 17 she's supposed to ask her mother for help.
Just because your parents did it to you, doesn't make it right for her situation. Plenty of people have accomplished way more than you with their parents help...and that doesn't make you any better or worse than them.
You need to stop blaming your mother. You are not entitled to anything you seem to think you are. You're mother does not need to co-sign anything. Guess what happens if you default? Her credit that took her years to build is finished. Then they garnish her wages. It takes years to build good credit, and one bad decision to ruin it. Employers check credit now. Is it really fair for you to ask her to do this? No.
Welcome to life. Your mom is doing you a favor by trying to get you to stand on your own two feet. My parents did it for me and I am forever indebted to them for it. I graduated at 17, moved out on my own at 18. I was responsible once I turned 16 for paying for all of my expenses. I paid for my first car, my insurance, all of my miscellaneous such as clothes and gas.
Get your drivers license, and get a job. The expired permit falls on you. If this is your "dream", you will find a way to make it happen.
At 39, I am financially independent. I take care of me and my son. I own my car and home outright. When I was married, I owned three cars, 2 main homes, and several rentals outright. I have no debt at all. I'm having some extensive dental work done which I can thankfully pay for. I learned how to save and work at a young age.
Be thankful. The only things you are entitled to as a minor is food, clothing, and shelter. The rest is a privilege. Your schooling up until now was a right. Your mom is teaching you some excellent life lessons, and I commend her. Hopefully, I can be as strong as her with my son.
At the age of 16 I moved out of my mothers home with no car and no money to my name, at age 17 whilst in an abusive relationship I enrolled in college without the option of going full time because I had to work to paybills. I did not have a car, I had a job, because I HAD to support myself, or I would be homeless again. I used public transportation to get to my job and school. At the time I had NO help from my parents or any other family or friends.
Because I was so determined in getting my education and succeeding in life, I was able to slowly able to get out of the abusive relationship, get a reliable vehicle and get my own place.. I am now 21 with almost 4 years of college education and have been accepted into the ADN program at my college with little debt so far (student loans from 2 years).
If I can do it starting out homeless at 16 with NOTHING but a few clothes to my name, to 21 being a Nursing student (my DREAM) and having my own car and very comfortable home and life, YOU CAN DO IT...
You HAVE to be determined, and let NOTHING stand in your way of accomplishing your dreams... Don't let anyone stand in the way of your success...take the bull by the horns and get it done!
I'll pray for you, you will be fine, and you will accomplish your dreams.
You can do it on your own! You don't need parents. It's nice but not necessary. In college I would often become envious of my friends who had school paid for by their parents. Now I realize I'm better off. I've learned valuable life lessons early in life by providing for myself. My friends are just now discovering what it means to budget. You will be fine if you work HARD! Good luck!!!
Hugs, OP! You've gotten some good (if blunt) advice from prior posters. This situation you're in...I hate it for you. You have some obstacles yes, but becoming an RN is absolutely still an option. Even if it means you have to go to school part time while working, or go the LPN route and finish your RN later like a poster mentioned. At 17 a few more years seems like a really big deal, but I promise it's not in the grand scheme of things. I was 17 more than half my life ago, and sometimes it seems like all I did was blink twice, and here I am. :) I'll strongly encourage you to look into CNA training in your area. It can be done in a matter of weeks, you will make more than minimum wage, and you will be doing work that is a step toward your goal of becoming an RN. You can do this!!
Hey. Try doing CNA at a nursing home. I had an interview once and even though I didn't get hired, I was told that they pay $12 an hour. Nursing homes are not a pleasant place to work but you can eventually use it in a hospital which pays more. I'm working at a hospital now and found that a patient care assistant makes $16 an hour and I don't believe they're certified but I could be wrong. Once you get a job, save up a little and if there is any outstanding balances, apply for a parent plus loan and pay it off while in school. Just try to set your class load part time, working full time and going to school full time is hell and is a major factor of why nursing students fail. I know most parents don't want a parent plus loan but I would show your mom that your responsible by showing how much you'll be paying up front.
That's what I'm trying to figure out as well of why is it I still owe the college 5k. I got a 10,000 scholarship for good grades and an 8,000 scholarship because my grandfather served in the Vietnam war. I'm guessing the e-bill is telling me that my scholarship doesn't covered it all? I don't know, I emailed the school but I have yet to receive a reply. I gave up on NIU to go to GSU because it's like a community university as it's only 45* min by car from my house. I could've went to NIU but my mother is a truck driver and she can be gone up to 4 days, so I watch her 6,12, and 14 year old for her.
Talk to your school. That bill could just be what your tuition is for this coming semester and the scholarships haven't been applied yet.
Georgia state, Georgia southern, or some other GSU? What I'm getting at is that a state school, if you're in-state, isn't going to cost you 18k a year in tuition, and while one of those scholarships may have to be reduced because you can't get more than the school costs, you shouldn't have a bill. UNLESS the scholarship totals you're quoting are for the 4 year total, not one year. And if this GSU is a private school, well tuition could exceed 18k a year.
Fin in aid is complicated. Don't rely on email (or strangers on the Internet). Write down your questions, go to the fin aid office in person, and make them walk you through the detailed bill. Everyone who fills out a FAFSA can get an unsubsidized loan (you pay interest from the day you take it out) for 5500 the first year. Since your mom refused to give any info, you may have to do some extra paperwork in the fin aid office, but ASk about the unsubsidized direct federal loan when you visit.
And about out the loan with the cosigner, all I can say is be careful. Nurses earn a decent wage, but it's not a get rich wage. My loans are small, but when I see the payback amount, I'd really rather have the money to pay other bills (rent, car ins, food, pet bills, maybe join a gym, etc.). If you're trying to borrow in excess of $5k every semester (x8 semesters for a BSN), that's more than 40k plus interest. It's going to be a big bite out of your pay checks. Might be why so many people do an ADN at a cc and then bridge. It can be a lot more affordable.
You do not need to be 24 to fill out the fafsa without your parents info. Join the military like I did. Full ride 4 years for me. Its great.
I agree with ratlady. Join the military as a corpsman if you can. Do four years and get your GI Bill. You will get some independence and a chance to grow. You can probably work on pre-reqs while you are in and have Tuition Assistance pay for most of it.
JJ1994
69 Posts
I think some of these comments are a little harsh. She's 17, not 39. I had a similar situation. My mom didn't think me being able to drive and work was important so she never taught me. I paid for my own lessons but never got enough practice to be proficient because my mom wouldn't let me practice in her car. I had no money to get a car. There was no public transportation when I lived at home and the only place close enough to walk to was an elementary school which wasn't going to hire a 16 year old.
I got a full scholarship and came to college right before I turned 17. I needed my mom's signature for EVERYTHING. It's not easy to just be independent as a minor, especially when your parents didn't help you develop the skills to be independent.
At least this girl is trying.
OP, I know it's hard to leave family behin but once you're 18, you might need to go to a school farther away so you can have more opportunities.