Becoming a nurse is no longer an option for me?

[KAThftf]

So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.

Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.

I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.

My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.

Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.

What should I do?

(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).

[Jules A, MSN]

I could've went to NIU but my mother is a truck driver and she can be gone up to 4 days, so I watch her 6,12, and 14 year old for her.

This sounds very difficult. As harsh as it sounds toward the family system I wish you had gone away to college so you could focus on your goals. I admire your vision and wish you all the best. Please keep us posted and maybe we can offer some advice and support along the way.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

IANAL, but leaving 4 minors home alone for up to 4 days might be considered neglect. It should not be your job to raise your siblings.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I really don't think OP is being overly negative here. I think she is young, has no idea of what to do, and has a mother who is giving her absolutely no guidance. I'm thankful my parents were there to give me good advice, and they still are.

Well the one post the OP made about trying to get a job at the library, then followed up by "oh that'll probably just go up in flames". There's no reason for the negativity there.

[BeachsideRN, ASN]

That's what I'm trying to figure out as well of why is it I still owe the college 5k. I got a 10,000 scholarship for good grades and an 8,000 scholarship because my grandfather served in the Vietnam war. I'm guessing the e-bill is telling me that my scholarship doesn't covered it all? I don't know, I emailed the school but I have yet to receive a reply. I gave up on NIU to go to GSU because it's like a community university as it's only 45* min by car from my house. I could've went to NIU but my mother is a truck driver and she can be gone up to 4 days, so I watch her 6,12, and 14 year old for her.

Likely the scholarship hasn't been applied yet.

[AspiringNurseMW]

That's what I'm trying to figure out as well of why is it I still owe the college 5k. I got a 10,000 scholarship for good grades and an 8,000 scholarship because my grandfather served in the Vietnam war. I'm guessing the e-bill is telling me that my scholarship doesn't covered it all? I don't know, I emailed the school but I have yet to receive a reply. I gave up on NIU to go to GSU because it's like a community university as it's only 45* min by car from my house. I could've went to NIU but my mother is a truck driver and she can be gone up to 4 days, so I watch her 6,12, and 14 year old for her.

You need to talk to the financial aid /business office. For my community college, bills are auto generated, meaning they get sent out automatically. If certain scholarships/loans are not directly from the school or are not active /received, they may not show up on the invoice they sent you this would explain your balance. For example, I got my first invoice for the upcoming fall semester, even though I am eligible and will be receiving a federal loan and a state grant, these two things are not listed. This is because the federal loans do not get released until about 30 days after the semester starts. I went to the website that lists my state grant, and right there on the main page it says that they will not be released to individual schools until the end of August.

So I just called the business office, they looked up my account, saw that I had loans coming in and said don't worry.

So before you get all riled up, as long as you are sure you will be receiving those scholarships, just wait to hear back from the school.

And if I were you I would be looking for ways to start becoming more and more independent so that you no longer have to rely on your mother for anything.

[KAThftf]

Oh, thank you for that I didn't know that! And yes, my 8,000 one is an outside scholarship, so I hope that's the case.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

You need to get out from under your mother's thumb, stop blaming her for everything you've mentioned here and show her you can do this. It might mean taking a little time off from school so you can get your ducks in a row, but if becoming a nurse is your end-all, be-all goal, you may have to get a little creative and think outside of the box you're currently living in in order to obtain it!

I never had a job because I didn't have a car and because my mom thought it would be too dangerous for me to take the public transit at night. So I had to decline all my job offers at the the time. The reason I don't have a job now is because of the same exact thing. I won't get my car until October so I'm hoping I can get a job by then.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Please lose that line of thinking right now. She clearly doesn't feel that way, and the more I read, I get the impression that you may be coming off as very juvenile in your discussions with your mom. It's time to pull on big girl panties and make your dream a reality on YOUR OWN...

Yes, I did do the fafsa and I only got 2,500 because my mom refused to fill it out.

And I just feel as though I should be entitled to a lot of things from my mom because I chose to stay home away from my attended college to watch her kids for her. And that was a huge sacrifice for me so I think she should at least show some support for me. I don't pay any bills and my mother did tell me if I do find a job that I wouldn't need to pay anything to live there, but I still feel like it's her fault why I don't have a job now so it's no point.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

If OP is 17, I'm wondering how she's in nursing school with a $5000 bill coming to her in her name? It's not like she can legally enter such a contract...

OP is 17; she'll be 18 in December. In my state, minors can't work without parental permission, and it sounds like OP's mother wouldn't allow that, either. There are many ways to foster independence; making your child totally dependent until the day they turn 18, then turning them loose with nothing is not the best way to do that.

Would it be possible to talk to your high school guidance counselor and see what your options are? Is the college you're looking at willing to defer your admission and aid package until January?

If you're interested in nursing, see if any nursing homes in your area offer CNA training. They may even offer tuition assistance. It's very hard work, and you may have to wait until December, but it will probably pay more than fast food or retail.

My last piece of advice is to move out ASAP, and make sure she has no access to your bank account. I've seen too many parents like your mother who will do nothing to help their kids out, but feel entitled to the kid's paycheck.

[middleagednurse]

Here is a suggestion. Tell mom that she will have to find another babysitter, once you turn 18. Get a job, one you can walk to or take a bus to. Find a way to take a CNA course, then work as a CNA. You will make more than minimum wage, and get experience. Go to LPN school, graduate, then you can work as a LPN while you go to school to get your RN. A lot of nurses do it that way.

[LJR89]

I would try to speak to a financial aid counselor. They can help you navigate fafsa and tell you your options when your family isn't contributing towards tuition. They can also explain what loans can be taken out through the government that don't require a parent to co-sign and help you find even more scholarships! They really know all the tricks and options!

[MinneNurse, BSN, RN]

For those asking, I experienced a similar type situation regarding not having the information to fill out the FAFSA, and what I learned is if you are under 24 years old, unmarried, do not have kids and were not an emancipated minor, you need to have your parent or legal guardians tax information in order to fill out the FAFSA. Without filling out the FAFSA you cannot be considered for federal and state grants or federal loans.

Sorry to hear you are going through this situation, keep your head up, you still have a lot of time a head of you to obtain your dream, and although I'm sure you want to get started on it right away, it is still obtainable! When you turn 18, join the ROTC if you want. If you are able to attend school, try to find a job on campus or somewhere near. If you can't find a job on campus, see if your school has free bus transportation. Some schools do this to nearby areas like grocery stores, malls, etc. Reapply for your permit if you need to and wait the necessary time to take your drivers license test (I think after you are 18 you don't have to hold your permit as long but I'm sure this varies by state.)

Contact your school and find out the breakdown of your bill and see if theres an area to cut cost. Are you living on campus? If so, I know that can be very very expensive, maybe you should look into living at home for a the first year or at least the first semester until you can find a job close to school and get a place. I know my university has a lot of apartments/houses for rent and they rent by the room for as little as $250/month. People often decide to go different ways and theres always people looking for sublets, so once you get to school you could hopefully meet some people, get a job, find a place, and get on your own.

Have you looked into a community or technical college (if you are not going to one?) The tuition is often significantly cheaper and you may be able to obtain your LPN within a year and a half, then you could apply to an RN program while working as an LPN making some money to help pay for school. And after finishing your RN you can apply to a BSN program, some of which are online so you could continue working to help support yourself.

Lastly, although it isn't nice to be dishonest, maybe just tell your mom you will consider looking into an Early Education degree. Your first 2 years are all pre-reqs anyway and many of them are needed for any bachelors degree you decide on, so that gives you some time to prepare for going into nursing and hopefully working things through with your mom.

Best of luck to you my dear! Don't give up on your dreams :)