So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.
Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.
I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.
My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.
Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.
What should I do?
(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).
I think there is a spot about being independent. I first started college at 20. I did not get grants, but I did get loans. I'm pretty sure that has to do with Pell Grants. I was able to go to college at the time without paying out of pocket. I did pay back the whole tuition. I'm sure things have changed since 1999. So I can't say I'm an expert.
Yes, I did do the fafsa and I only got 2,500 because my mom refused to fill it out.
And I just feel as though I should be entitled to a lot of things from my mom because I chose to stay home away from my attended college to watch her kids for her. And that was a huge sacrifice for me so I think she should at least show some support for me. I don't pay any bills and my mother did tell me if I do find a job that I wouldn't need to pay anything to live there, but I still feel like it's her fault why I don't have a job now so it's no point.
I know the responses seem harsh OP, but since your mother apparently refuses to give you guidance, take the advice here. You do NOT have to give up your educational goals. Follow the above posters' advice. It'll be hard, but you'll get there. It just might take a little longer.
OP is 17; she'll be 18 in December. In my state, minors can't work without parental permission, and it sounds like OP's mother wouldn't allow that, either. There are many ways to foster independence; making your child totally dependent until the day they turn 18, then turning them loose with nothing is not the best way to do that.
Would it be possible to talk to your high school guidance counselor and see what your options are? Is the college you're looking at willing to defer your admission and aid package until January?
If you're interested in nursing, see if any nursing homes in your area offer CNA training. They may even offer tuition assistance. It's very hard work, and you may have to wait until December, but it will probably pay more than fast food or retail.
My last piece of advice is to move out ASAP, and make sure she has no access to your bank account. I've seen too many parents like your mother who will do nothing to help their kids out, but feel entitled to the kid's paycheck.
I no longer have a guidance counselor since I graduated from HS in May. So I really don't know what do. I'm hoping to get a job at my public library since it's right next to my house but that'll probably go up in flames.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I no longer have a guidance counselor since I graduated from HS in May. So I really don't know what do. I'm hoping to get a job at my public library since it's right next to my house but that'll probably go up in flames.
You need to quit being so negative or you will bring in negative energy. Do everything you can to make your dream of being a nurse a possibility. I know you are young & it seems really difficult but if you really want it don't give up.
Yes, I did do the fafsa and I only got 2,500 because my mom refused to fill it out.
And I just feel as though I should be entitled to a lot of things from my mom because I chose to stay home away from my attended college to watch her kids for her. And that was a huge sacrifice for me so I think she should at least show some support for me. I don't pay any bills and my mother did tell me if I do find a job that I wouldn't need to pay anything to live there, but I still feel like it's her fault why I don't have a job now so it's no point.
Now it all makes sense. Your mother doesn't want to lose her free full-time live-in nanny. All the more reason to get out while you can.
I really don't think OP is being overly negative here. I think she is young, has no idea of what to do, and has a mother who is giving her absolutely no guidance. I'm thankful my parents were there to give me good advice, and they still are.
How do you owe a college $5k if you just graduated from high school a few weeks ago? And how did you give up on a college to stay home and watch your siblings if you just graduated?
I think there is a spot about being independent. I first started college at 20. I did not get grants, but I did get loans. I'm pretty sure that has to do with Pell Grants. I was able to go to college at the time without paying out of pocket. I did pay back the whole tuition. I'm sure things have changed since 1999. So I can't say I'm an expert.
Students are considered dependent until age 24, even if they don't live with their parent(s) or the parent (s) refuse to provide their financial info. The only exceptions are students who are veterans, married, parents, wards of the state (or were wards until age 18), completed a bachelor's degree, or homeless or at risk of homelessness. It's a screwed up system, forcing young adults to remain dependent on parents who can withdraw their support at any time, leaving the young adult with no recourse (and the military is both very selective and shrinking).
It kills me when people act like every parent is so perfect and if the parent isn't being supportive it's always because they are "teaching valuable lessons on independence"
I just don't see the point in making sure your child's life is as hard as yours was.
Not everybody has parents that make the right decision.
That's what I'm trying to figure out as well of why is it I still owe the college 5k. I got a 10,000 scholarship for good grades and an 8,000 scholarship because my grandfather served in the Vietnam war. I'm guessing the e-bill is telling me that my scholarship doesn't covered it all? I don't know, I emailed the school but I have yet to receive a reply. I gave up on NIU to go to GSU because it's like a community university as it's only 45* min by car from my house. I could've went to NIU but my mother is a truck driver and she can be gone up to 4 days, so I watch her 6,12, and 14 year old for her.
NurseGirl525, ASN, RN
3,663 Posts
I think there is a spot about being independent. I first started college at 20. I did not get grants, but I did get loans. I'm pretty sure that has to do with Pell Grants. I was able to go to college at the time without paying out of pocket. I did pay back the whole tuition. I'm sure things have changed since 1999. So I can't say I'm an expert.