So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.
Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.
I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.
My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.
Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.
What should I do?
(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).
Okay so some of your timeline is a little confusing/not making sense. Oh well...the bill you received could be your bill for the semester and what needs to be paid, that's if you already enrolled for classes.
At the community college I attended this is how scholarships worked if it was received through the school. You paid for the classes up front. Or you could do a payment plan. After a certain amount of time went by the scholarship was credited to your school account. The school then sent out a debit card with the amount of money you were reimbursed and you could do as you please with it. They did things this way so they weren't losing money by giving the scholarship money prior to classes starting and the students taking it and then not taking classes. Because if you drop the class by a certain date you get either a full or partial refund. So maybe this is the case with you.
I suggest doing what you can to leave home. It sounds like your mom wants you home and not to leave. The military is a great idea. I was able to get tuition assistance while in the military and do a few pre-reqs while in.
There are ways out of your situation, you just need to figure out what you really want.
That's what I'm trying to figure out as well of why is it I still owe the college 5k. I got a 10,000 scholarship for good grades and an 8,000 scholarship because my grandfather served in the Vietnam war. I'm guessing the e-bill is telling me that my scholarship doesn't covered it all? I don't know, I emailed the school but I have yet to receive a reply. I gave up on NIU to go to GSU because it's like a community university as it's only 45* min by car from my house. I could've went to NIU but my mother is a truck driver and she can be gone up to 4 days, so I watch her 6,12, and 14 year old for her.
How can you go to GSU? When I lived in the area, they only provided courses for 300 level work and above. It was like a community college to finish your bachelor's degree. You had to complete your associates (or enough 100 & 200 level courses) before you could get your foot in the door. Maybe they've changed since I moved away from there (about 3 years ago)
If you just graduated from high school in May, how do you already owe the college? This doesn't make sense. Could it be that the school has not yet applied your scholarship funds to your account? I know when I used financial aid, they didn't disperse aid funds until 4 weeks in to the semester. I would speak to someone in the financial aid office so you can clear this up.
You also say you "watch your mom's kids". Are they not your brothers & sisters, too?
ETA: I hope this post didn't come off harsh. I really hope the only issue is that your scholarships just haven't yet been applied for the Fall semester. Easy fix :) Good luck to you
work as a CNA...whether it be a hospital, nursing home, home health care...you can start out at $12...there are some better jobs on craigslist mainly for home health care...I see some that are $18/hr just to watch a patient...home health I think is better. You're 1 on 1 just making sure they're safe. Most people when they're at home are pretty chill vs centers where sometimes you don't even have a minute to pee! I would suggest working as much as you can & saving up before school starts again. Craigslist - medical/health under "Jobs". I hope you find a solution that works for you :)
OP is 17; she'll be 18 in December. In my state, minors can't work without parental permission, and it sounds like OP's mother wouldn't allow that, either. There are many ways to foster independence; making your child totally dependent until the day they turn 18, then turning them loose with nothing is not the best way to do that.
Would it be possible to talk to your high school guidance counselor and see what your options are? Is the college you're looking at willing to defer your admission and aid package until January?
If you're interested in nursing, see if any nursing homes in your area offer CNA training. They may even offer tuition assistance. It's very hard work, and you may have to wait until December, but it will probably pay more than fast food or retail.
My last piece of advice is to move out ASAP, and make sure she has no access to your bank account. I've seen too many parents like your mother who will do nothing to help their kids out, but feel entitled to the kid's paycheck.
Minor work laws do not pertain to her since she has graduated high school. I also graduated at 17, not turning 18 until that December. I held a full time job as I was not going to college at that point. The schools are the ones in charge of work permits and she is no longer a student. Plus, not all states need a parent's consent to be able to get a permit. I did not.
Sorry if I'm confusing everyone so I will just clear it all up:
1.) I do not literally "owe" the school, but I did receive an e-bill in the mail telling me that this money has yet to be paid.
2). This will be my first year as a freshman so I've never been to college before.
3). I have not been accepted into the nursing program yet, I just will be pre-nursing.
And I thank everyone for their comments because you guys have really helped me. I'm looking into going the LPN route since it's only 16,000 a year and my scholarship money can be applied to that. I also receive my 10,000 settlement money in October since I was in a really bad car accident last year as a passenger. But I'm not sure what I will do with that yet, besides buying a car with it and becoming a CNA while in school.
Now it all makes sense. Your mother doesn't want to lose her free full-time live-in nanny. All the more reason to get out while you can.
We will have to disagree on this point. They are her siblings and her mom is a single mom trying to make ends meet and support them all. At least her mom is not sitting at home doing nothing but living off the government. I'm sure since the OP's dad has never been in the picture, she doesn't get child support from him. When I was a teenager, everyone babysat. We babysat our siblings during the week and then on the weekends babysat other people's kids for money. My first paying babysitting job was at 11. My parents were poor and both my mom and dad had to work to support us, so I babysat my siblings especially in the summer when we were out of school. My mom actually worked 2 jobs and my dad had his full time gig during the week and worked for his dad on the weekends. They had to. But, I never wanted for anything growing up and when I turned 16 I started paying for my own stuff. It was really not uncommon among me and my friends.
Students are considered dependent until age 24, even if they don't live with their parent(s) or the parent (s) refuse to provide their financial info. The only exceptions are students who are veterans, married, parents, wards of the state (or were wards until age 18), completed a bachelor's degree, or homeless or at risk of homelessness. It's a screwed up system, forcing young adults to remain dependent on parents who can withdraw their support at any time, leaving the young adult with no recourse (and the military is both very selective and shrinking).
I understand that. The first time I went to college was in 1998. I did not live in the same state as my parents during that time either. When I went to get financial aid, I brought in my tax returns for the years I was on my own. I started claiming myself in 1994. I got Federal Loans, but I was not eligible for Pell Grants. Now, I am eligible for Pell Grants and get everything paid for because I'm older and more established, lol. It doesn't make one bit of sense to me. I did not make very much back then especially for everything I had to pay for. I was engaged at the time and was told when I got married I would be considered independent. It's like being punished for having your act together. But when I got married, I was made to quit school, so I never got to take advantage of those grants.
Funny thing is back then, you got rewarded by the government if you were married. Now, they reward you for being single. I'm sure lots of things have changed with student loans since then, but I did fill out my FAFSA with out needing any info from my parents. They tried to get me to call them and get their info, but I had a brother in college, and a sister going to go to college in a few years and I wasn't going to burden them any further with that.
Sorry if I'm confusing everyone so I will just clear it all up:
1.) I do not literally "owe" the school, but I did receive an e-bill in the mail telling me that this money has yet to be paid.
2). This will be my first year as a freshman so I've never been to college before.
3). I have not been accepted into the nursing program yet, I just will be pre-nursing.
And I thank everyone for their comments because you guys have really helped me. I'm looking into going the LPN route since it's only 16,000 a year and my scholarship money can be applied to that. I also receive my 10,000 settlement money in October since I was in a really bad car accident last year as a passenger. But I'm not sure what I will do with that yet, besides buying a car with it and becoming a CNA while in school.
I'm glad you're formulating a plan and realizing that you can accomplish your goal of becoming a nurse. Please keep coming back here if you have more questions! I wish you all the best.
It kills me when people act like every parent is so perfect and if the parent isn't being supportive it's always because they are "teaching valuable lessons on independence"
I just don't see the point in making sure your child's life is as hard as yours was.
Not everybody has parents that make the right decision.
So, you think it's wrong to try to get your kid's to be independent and grow up, especially once they have graduated high school? My life was not hard growing up at all. My parents were poor. They got married when they were nineteen because my grandfather was an alcoholic and would beat the crap out of my mom. After he beat her, she would go to a phone booth and call my dad to come and get her. Then he took her to my other grandparent's house so they could help her heal. They had been together since high school. My dad gave up his dreams to go to college and become a lawyer so he could rescue my mom. They lived in a tiny apartment my dad's dad owned until they could afford a tiny house. They still live in that house today and raised 3 kids in it. I never wanted for anything growing up. I now see though, how resourceful my mom could be when making different meals when they didn't have money, usually right before payday. My mom stayed home with us until my little sister started kindergarten. Then there were many times she worked 2 jobs for us. Especially at Christmas. We all could play any sport we wished, I still remember my first pair of guess jeans. We only ever had one car, and my dad took the bus to and from work. I appreciate my parents and what they sacrificed for us.
I also appreciate the lessons I learned. I lived 2 blocks from my grandparents (my dad's parents). My grandfather taught me so many lessons about life. He taught me how important family was and about work ethic. I learned most of my lessons not because my parents were trying to make my life hard, but because they had no money. I wanted a car at 16. They did not have the money to buy me one, so I did. I was required to pay my own insurance and gas for it, which required me having a job. That's not unreasonable. I wanted name brand clothes in school. I liked the Gap and the Limited so that is why I paid for them. I was in high school when all of that stuff mattered to me. I loved shoes and probably had 50 pairs of them. It would have been unreasonable to ask my parents to pay for that many.
Me moving out so early was my choice, not theirs. I had a full time job in retail management. They asked me if I wanted to move to a different store out of state for a job promotion. To me it was was exciting to get to be on my own and finally have privacy for once in my life. I was tired of there being 5 people, and only one bathroom. So I went.
I hope that I can teach my son these lessons. My parents never stood in my way of anything in life. They may not have agreed with some of my decisions, but they let me make them, and let me learn my lessons the hard way. My life was not hard. But if I wanted something I had to get it myself. I've always been a fashionista. To this day, I have two closets full of clothes. My son has more clothes than any boy I have ever seen. I am though starting to teach him some lessons. He has chores to do. He pays for his toys from the money he earns doing chores. If he wants electronic time, he earns it. He will be given more responsibility as he gets older. His dad and I have started experimenting with leaving him home alone for short periods of time. And hopefully, if I do things the right way now with him, I won't have him living in my basement when he is 30. I hope he gets to experience his life to the fullest. I don't think he will be if he's still depending on me when he is an adult. How will he travel the world and see what all it has to offer if he's dependent?
If this is your dream, then you can make it happen, even if it take a few years of saving up to afford it. That's what I'm doing. I worked full time for a few years and saved up every penny I could to put toward my education. Yes, it offsets it a few years. But if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. My dad can't cosign a loan either because he has bad credit (from cosigning my brother's student loan, who hasn't been making payments, so I can see your mom's concern) and he isn't paying a penny for funding my classes--and he shouldn't have to. I'm an adult and am responsible for my own life and future.
Once you turn 18, start building up good credit by using a credit card responsibly and get a full time job to earn the funds you need, so you don't need someone to cosign the loan. If you don't have a car, bike or walk to the job. I know 5K sounds like a lot, but considering how much most students are short for their tuition (mine is 43K) it really is a very small debt. I wish I could get great scholarships like yours!
Long story short, if you really want this, then work for it a few years before starting. Yeah, waiting sucks, but thats life. It will help you mature.
Sorry if I'm confusing everyone so I will just clear it all up:
1.) I do not literally "owe" the school, but I did receive an e-bill in the mail telling me that this money has yet to be paid.
2). This will be my first year as a freshman so I've never been to college before.
3). I have not been accepted into the nursing program yet, I just will be pre-nursing.
And I thank everyone for their comments because you guys have really helped me. I'm looking into going the LPN route since it's only 16,000 a year and my scholarship money can be applied to that. I also receive my 10,000 settlement money in October since I was in a really bad car accident last year as a passenger. But I'm not sure what I will do with that yet, besides buying a car with it and becoming a CNA while in school.
I'm so glad you are figuring it all out. I know many people thought my comment was harsh or blunt, but I promise you one day you will see what I am talking about. I don't know you or your mom. She maybe a horrible parent or a great parent. I'm guessing that being a single mom, with four kids, and being a truck driver, things have not always been easy for her. I did not become appreciative of my parents and really realized what they sacrificed for us until I was in my twenties. It took me a few years of living on my own and seeing how expensive it was to just support myself and how hard it was, much less being married or having kids when they were so young.
My parents did co-sign some student loans for my sister and it was a nightmare for them. She had to go to this super expensive college. When it was all said and done she owed $250k. Them co-signing affected their ability to be able to borrow. They are much better now financially but if my sister ever defaults, they are in a heap of trouble. She has a great paying job now and is married, but still. When I found out they were co-signing and how much, I made them take out a life insurance policy on my sister. Just to be safe and protect them, not to be morbid or anything. I worried for years about them doing that. My sister had gotten some credit cards when she was young and she didn't pay them always on time. She was always calling me to bail her out with that stuff so I was worried about the loans with her.
You are young and will make some money mistakes as you get older and you will learn from all of it. I did and I am much better off for it now. Good Luck with everything. I am sure it will all work out for the best.
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.
Geesh, y'all! Cut the kid some slack. She's 17. I barely understood financial aid, scholarships, or how to navigate getting a driver's
license at that age.
I like the above advice, OP.
1) Talk to the financial aid office at your school and see how much money you have coming in. Explain your situation, they may have scholarships you can apply for next cycle. They may also give you advice about how to live independently and survive college, or refer you to college resources. You're not the only student to ever have been in this boat, so take heart.
2) See about getting a job close by so you can start saving money, on campus is even better! Campus jobs usually have flexible
hours, and they're generally not that difficult, so you can study at a lot of them.
3) I agree getting far, far away from your family may be the best decision you may ever make. God bless my mother, for she has the same type of personality as you describe in yours, and I had to go to school 3 states away from her in order to start my own life.
4) Getting your CNA license is excellent advice. You'll get exposure into healthcare early, and this can influence your decision on whether you want to ultimately end up as a nurse.
.thumb.jpg.e59a161e7d6dbf7895a0b2c15cddf5b2.jpg){kind=small}
rollieschmollie
211 Posts
Okay so some of your timeline is a little confusing/not making sense. Oh well...the bill you received could be your bill for the semester and what needs to be paid, that's if you already enrolled for classes.
At the community college I attended this is how scholarships worked if it was received through the school. You paid for the classes up front. Or you could do a payment plan. After a certain amount of time went by the scholarship was credited to your school account. The school then sent out a debit card with the amount of money you were reimbursed and you could do as you please with it. They did things this way so they weren't losing money by giving the scholarship money prior to classes starting and the students taking it and then not taking classes. Because if you drop the class by a certain date you get either a full or partial refund. So maybe this is the case with you.
I suggest doing what you can to leave home. It sounds like your mom wants you home and not to leave. The military is a great idea. I was able to get tuition assistance while in the military and do a few pre-reqs while in.
There are ways out of your situation, you just need to figure out what you really want.