I'll make this as short and sweet as possible. I had really bad anxiety in nursing school, was diagnosed with panic attacks etc etc. Over the years I have grown a lot. Started working as a PCA and I went from shy bird to not so shy.
In school I was quiet, yes, but I still had friends and talked to them. I just was not the student who raised their hand up in class or was loud in clinical. I am very reserved and professional in professional settings and always get my work done.
I graduated this March. Failed nclex twice with 265 I honestly believe it was my anxiety combined with not doing enough practice nclex type questions. I finally passed this October my third time.
I began applying for jobs and reached out to a unit I really wanted to work on....I am a float PCA. Immediately got two interviews within days...was told I was going to get hired for my dream job but one more reference was needed from my clinical instructors or instructor.
They told me I had 3 days for my professor to submit the recommendation form so in desperate need to attain my dream job I emailed EVERYONE of my teachers...everyone ignored me or told me they were busy
Low and behold next day I get an email saying they decided to go with another candidate for the job....I apply to about 30 more jobs at my hospital and I was rejected to all automatically....I finally spoke to HR and the lady told me they wont be considering me for a RN position at all for a year until I get experience elsewhere BECAUSE A BAD RECOMMENDATION WAS GIVEN ABOUT ME BY A TEACHER WHO SHE COULDNT SAY WHO IT WAS....
Apparently this person expressed how much they were concerned about me being a "safe and competent" nurse. They also apparently said I would not take the initiative to care for my patients and I wouldnt be a good fit to be a nurse at this time....
SO APPARENTLY 4 YEARS AND 60K+ in debt instructors say this about me?
I also want to know how apparently I have a 3.3 GPA and never once failed out of clinical. Never once got a bad evaluation from a clinical instructor. Yet someone wants to say something bad about me NOW as a new grad and ruin my career and reputation? WHY? I cant express how much I hate nursing now...something I dreamed of doing since I was 7 years old. I cant express how depressed I am. How dumb I feel. How sad I am. How ashamed I feel. How embarrassed I am. I literally am not having the best thoughts right now. I want to just move out of this state and get away FAR AWAY.
I feel like I shouldnt have emailed everyone. I also shouldnt have stated that I got a position in the NICU (mostly NAS and GI problem babies NICU...no vents). I shouldnt have emailed out the forms as well. I feel like this person took advantage of me because the form had to be sent directly to HR so they knew I wouldnt see what they said or who sent it. Im deeply depressed. An entire hospital I was a PCA at for 3 years wont hire me. They said they take comments like that SERIOUS. They spoke with my current manager, looked at my transcripts, looked at me work evaluations and everything was good EXCEPT me failing nclex twice. The HR women said me failing twice with the bad comment was why they came up with that decision.
I am not loving life. Maybe I am not meant to be a nurse. Maybe I am not smart enough. I need somewhere to vent because I literally am about to lose my mind. The NICU was why I went into nursing. I remember going there as a child and I knew thats what I wanted to do...finally my dream was coming true and SOMEONE RUINED IT FOR ME. Help ): Where do I go from here. What do I do.........I worked at one of the best Peds hospitals...I wanted to stay in peds and now I am forced to go work else where..I have no choice...what if no one ever hires me?
You sound just like me. I am a quiet person too. My instructors basically told me that they didn't think I should be a nurse. Well I have been a nurse for over 7 years now and even a charge nurse. There is something wrong with the majority of nursing instructors. They really are not very supportive. It might take you a while longer but I'm sure you will find a job eventually. You may have to get a job outside of the NICU first though which is something you might not want to do but sometimes we really don't have a choice. Good luck with everything and I'm very sorry for what happened to you.
I am sorry this has happened to you. I think it really stinks that a former instructor didn't have the courtesy to email you back and say she wasn't comfortable giving you a positive recommendation. Whenever I have had to list a reference for an application I always ask my references in advance (face to face or via telephone) for permission and if they are willing to give a positive recommendation. I feel it is only fair and professional to decline if they can't say something nice. Not that this helps your situation but maybe it will help someone else.
It's perfectly legal to give a negative reference, it's simply policy at many places not to, since it opens them up to liability in terms of someone accusing them of giving a *false* reference, and doesn't immediately benefit the person/institution doing the referring.
It does seem very strange that this person passed you without comment and then gave a negative reference. You don't have any recollection of feedback from an instructor that might fuel this? The advice to discuss this with the dean is good, but if it turns out you did actually struggle with one of your clinical rotations and the instructor in question can provide evidence to back up their assessment, taking it to the school may simply end in more hurt and humiliation. It may end in that even if it was totally groundless, actually, since it's probably in their best interest not to cooperate with you on investigating this.
The path of least resistance/greatest success is to either find a job that doesn't need a school application or carefully track down a single faculty member who will agree to give you a positive reference and only contact them in future.
The fact that so many people refused or didn't even respond is kind of telling, though. Very, very few people are going to tell you flat out they intend to give you a negative reference. Most simply decline with an excuse, or ignore the request. I don't mean that in a nasty way- I don't know you from anybody- just bear that in mind in the future when you request references. If someone is reluctant, there's probably a reason.
I'm sorry this happened. It's unfortunate that a professor passed you but felt you would be unsafe. I would get a couple of professional recommendations from your current employer if you can, and look for a job elsewhere.
A mass email was a huge mistake on your part and as you could see, you opened the door to any sort of references.
If you want a reference, speak to the person you are requesting a reference from in advance and clarify that you would receive a good reference.
I noticed that you have failed the licensing exam twice and combined with the feedback of the clinical instructors I would conclude that their concerns are valid. Remember that someone who has a satisfactory GPA might not have the necessary clinical skills or mindset. It is also possible that the school was set up to pass everyone on their end and send you into NCLEX without adequate preparation.
I would also add that a negative reference is not illegal to give. With employment, a reference is a privileged communication and as long as the facts provided within the reference are true, the reference is legally okay. One thing for you to consider is that the opinion of a preceptor or clinical instructor is an opinion from a professional who has been in the industry and is likely not making the negative reference on the basis of being spiteful; they are probably making the negative reference based on their professional opinion.
Ultimately the onus is on you to ensure that you select the correct references.
It seems silly that a professor/clinical instructor would make an effort to fill out a negative reference instead of simply responding to your request saying they do not feel comfortable giving you a recommendation.
This is false. How would it be "illegal" for someone to give a negative reference? You honestly think the legislature sat down and passed a law saying that references can only provide positive information? A reference can provide whatever information they choose, so long as it is true. I don't know why someone would fill out a reference and express these concerns if they weren't real concerns.
OP, this is why you only ask for references from people who you are confident will speak positively about you.
And be extra careful. Nothing more disgusting than to find out the person who promised you a good reference, is in fact, insuring that you are not hired. It happens more often than expected.
Yep I agree with above (!).....someone has some s'plainin to do big time. And I would go and have that conversation in person, possibly (ideally) with a lawyer. If you're 60k in debt what's $500 more to have a lawyer go with you.
This will pass. Don't give up.
What is a lawyer going to do to
Rectify the situation? But i agree. Dont give up. You will find employment as a nurse and ultimately get where you want to be!
Here's my thoughts. When I looked for references from instructors I handpicked who I asked. Some instructors I absolutely did not trust would give me a good eval. Throughout nursing school I realized some instructors thought I was great where others were nitpicky and very hard on me. I asked for a letter of reference as well. This gave me an opportunity to see an an advance what they would write or say. It it was lukewarm then I didn't use them for a reference. I found references before I started job hunting.
I'd stop spending energy on being pissed and just move forward. Work on finding references. Maybe look for jobs outside the hospital for now. They don't seem to be as picky about your references.
Rectify the situation? But i agree. Dont give up. You will find employment as a nurse and ultimately get where you want to be!
Well if she is quiet and non confrontational I'm imagining she is going to need support in getting to the bottom of why a college would graduate her...recommend her to take nclex...if they felt she would not be a good recommendation for a practicing nurse. If they felt she was not a good recommendation for a safe nurse then the bad recommendation given by the instructor was in fact liable and there would be basis for action.
With a lawyer....or at least the name of a lawyer willing to take the case, and a card in hand to give with a "my lawyer will be contacting you" she will at least have a plan if they give her the run around or use intimidation to try and get rid of her complaint.
Even if she was a ****** student...they gave her good grades and a diploma without telling her she shouldn't go this route. That's not right. She will almost certainly need a ref from an instructor at some point.
Mommy2BeorNot2Be
16 Posts
You sound just like me. I am a quiet person too. My instructors basically told me that they didn't think I should be a nurse. Well I have been a nurse for over 7 years now and even a charge nurse. There is something wrong with the majority of nursing instructors. They really are not very supportive. It might take you a while longer but I'm sure you will find a job eventually. You may have to get a job outside of the NICU first though which is something you might not want to do but sometimes we really don't have a choice. Good luck with everything and I'm very sorry for what happened to you.