I'll make this as short and sweet as possible. I had really bad anxiety in nursing school, was diagnosed with panic attacks etc etc. Over the years I have grown a lot. Started working as a PCA and I went from shy bird to not so shy.
In school I was quiet, yes, but I still had friends and talked to them. I just was not the student who raised their hand up in class or was loud in clinical. I am very reserved and professional in professional settings and always get my work done.
I graduated this March. Failed nclex twice with 265 I honestly believe it was my anxiety combined with not doing enough practice nclex type questions. I finally passed this October my third time.
I began applying for jobs and reached out to a unit I really wanted to work on....I am a float PCA. Immediately got two interviews within days...was told I was going to get hired for my dream job but one more reference was needed from my clinical instructors or instructor.
They told me I had 3 days for my professor to submit the recommendation form so in desperate need to attain my dream job I emailed EVERYONE of my teachers...everyone ignored me or told me they were busy
Low and behold next day I get an email saying they decided to go with another candidate for the job....I apply to about 30 more jobs at my hospital and I was rejected to all automatically....I finally spoke to HR and the lady told me they wont be considering me for a RN position at all for a year until I get experience elsewhere BECAUSE A BAD RECOMMENDATION WAS GIVEN ABOUT ME BY A TEACHER WHO SHE COULDNT SAY WHO IT WAS....
Apparently this person expressed how much they were concerned about me being a "safe and competent" nurse. They also apparently said I would not take the initiative to care for my patients and I wouldnt be a good fit to be a nurse at this time....
SO APPARENTLY 4 YEARS AND 60K+ in debt instructors say this about me?
I also want to know how apparently I have a 3.3 GPA and never once failed out of clinical. Never once got a bad evaluation from a clinical instructor. Yet someone wants to say something bad about me NOW as a new grad and ruin my career and reputation? WHY? I cant express how much I hate nursing now...something I dreamed of doing since I was 7 years old. I cant express how depressed I am. How dumb I feel. How sad I am. How ashamed I feel. How embarrassed I am. I literally am not having the best thoughts right now. I want to just move out of this state and get away FAR AWAY.
I feel like I shouldnt have emailed everyone. I also shouldnt have stated that I got a position in the NICU (mostly NAS and GI problem babies NICU...no vents). I shouldnt have emailed out the forms as well. I feel like this person took advantage of me because the form had to be sent directly to HR so they knew I wouldnt see what they said or who sent it. Im deeply depressed. An entire hospital I was a PCA at for 3 years wont hire me. They said they take comments like that SERIOUS. They spoke with my current manager, looked at my transcripts, looked at me work evaluations and everything was good EXCEPT me failing nclex twice. The HR women said me failing twice with the bad comment was why they came up with that decision.
I am not loving life. Maybe I am not meant to be a nurse. Maybe I am not smart enough. I need somewhere to vent because I literally am about to lose my mind. The NICU was why I went into nursing. I remember going there as a child and I knew thats what I wanted to do...finally my dream was coming true and SOMEONE RUINED IT FOR ME. Help ): Where do I go from here. What do I do.........I worked at one of the best Peds hospitals...I wanted to stay in peds and now I am forced to go work else where..I have no choice...what if no one ever hires me?
I'm sorry this happened to you, and I can imagine that you feel this instructor tried to "ruin" your life. It seems like that to you. I have no idea why they wouldn't just ignore te request if she didn't plan on giving you a good reccomendation! Ouch I'm sorry that's so very frustrating. I would recommend finding an instructor, just one, that you trust and ask them if they would give a positive reference. If not, find some references from your current job to use. Good luck, keep applying at other hospitals. Obviously you did really well in those interviews since they wanted to hire you right away! Don't give up, keep applying elsewhere
I would be contacting the dean of the program and asking for a meeting. Explain the situation. I would also ask HR for a copy of the reference. In this day and age I think it is illegal for someone to give a negative review. They can merely say yes they would hire you or no they would not and leave it at that. So I would contact the dean of the program because at the very least someone has shown very poor professionalism and needs taken to task over it and at the worst they have violated the law.
While some states may place some restrictions as to what employers can share about an employee when it comes to verification, an employer may say whatever they want provided that it is fact. They are not just limited to dates of employment and rehire status. And yes, they can share negative stuff as long as it is true.
However, this is not a verification of job status, but a reference. Essentially, this is someone's opinion about an applicant, in this case, the OP's potential as a nurse. You can check with a lawyer versed in employment law, but I'm pretty sure that negative references aren't against the law as long as they're not stating untrue facts.
This in no way excuses the writer of the OP's negative reference...just saying that playing the "illegal!" card won't really work because it's not illegal. Unless the reference writer was making untrue statements such as the OP making a medication error every week or was perpetually late to clinical (assuming neither is true, of course).
OP: I don't think your employer is required to release the name of the reference, though you can also bounce that one off of a employment lawyer. I would keep reapplying for positions, but when it comes to getting references from the school, I would only only submit requests to instructors you are sure will give you a good reference. Maybe contact one or two that you got along very well with and talk to them about it.
I really want to thank everyone for the sweet comments. I'm broken down into pieces right now and it really does help me mentally. I really appreciate it.
For or those who left me negative comments...do you forget what it was like to be a student or take the nclex? Do you have children of your own?
I won't say my exact age but I am under 25 years old. The past couple years I have learned a lot and grown a lot. I would never ever in a million years put a patients life or someone in danger for that matter. I know what I can handle and what I can't. I would never take a job I didn't feel comfortable doing as a new grad.
I feel used. As if my school took all my money and now is setting me up for failure.
If this person thought I was not made to be a nurse they should have said something and not passed me. Either way this person is not an honest person. Because either they are trying to ruin me and lying OR they lied on ALL my weeks worth of clinical evaluations. I find this isn't ethical either way.
To the person who said maybe they aren't trying to ruin me and are looking out for me....why do they care? It's my license. Not theirs. At the end of the day I will lose my license if I am not competent.
I didn't send a mass email out. I made each one personal for each professor. When I say all teachers I mean excluding certain classes as I was not allowed to use mental health, community etc. this left me with a limited amount of people to email. Most of my professors taught multiple classes. I tried emailing the people I trusted but there was an issue. My job wanted the email to come from a professional email...work or school. No phone calls. And I had a few teachers tell me they couldn't send personal emails out from their job email and they no longer worked for the school. I had one offer to write me a letter as she was busy with personal issues and couldn't get to it in time. Another offered her number. Yes...the rest did ignore my emails. And I actually did get one good recommendation like i stated above. I also had another professor who faxed the paper instead of email it (this was my pediatrics professor who no longer works for the school but works at the same hospital as me). The entire situation was a MESS. It was my first time applying for a job in 3 years. I am new to this. The PCA job was my first job. I'm sorry I didn't know. I wish I could go back in time. My heart was just set on the NICU and I was given 3 days and I was desperate for a recommendation to get in in time. I didn't wanna lose the job......
This person ruined my life. I never will be going back to this hospital because now I have a reputation.
Im sorry if being quiet tells some people I won't be a good nurse. Sorry I don't speak up. But best believe as a PCA I do report and speak up about my patients and form relationships with them. It's different when I'm in class....
and those who said me failing twice proves what the teacher said is true. Yes I failed twice but I failed both times with 265. What does that tell you? I was really close. And maybe my anxiety got in the way? I don't know. But I beat myself over failing twice but managed to take nclex 3 times in less than 9 months and I passed my third time.
I just feel really low right now. I honestly can't get over this. I'm really depressed because this just killed my confidence....really bad.
I just never thought my own school would do this to me as a new grad. How can I prove myself if they ruined all my chances of someone giving me a shot at my dream? I am really thinking twice about persuing this career.....why do I have to work else where to prove myself to someone? Nursing is not about a paper and pencil and a test....being a good nurse comes from the heart and the rest comes after it. Again....I would never put any one in danger...for someone to say I would never initiate patient care or I am not competent is a big deal...
For or those who left me negative comments...do you forget what it was like to be a student or take the nclex? Do you have children of your own?
Unfortunately...the reality is that negative references are generally not illegal, and no amount of positive comments in the world is going to change that fact. It would be far more unkind of me to let you believe otherwise.
Is it fair? Definitely not. But it is what it is.
You could try talking to HR to see what can be done to work around this. Do you HAVE to have a reference from an instructor? Would they be willing to consider references from your managers/supervisors at the PCA job instead?
You could also talk to the Dean of your school about this...however, I wouldn't expect them to pony up the name of whoever did it.
You could consult with that employment lawyer to somehow request a copy of the letter to see if there is a potential libel case. But again, remember that a negative opinion isn't necessarily libel. If the instructor wrote untrue statements of fact, then yes, it's libel. If it's just opinion...not necessarily.
Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.
Please don't blame the school for what one person did. Blame her. Who knows what her reasoning was!
I get asked for reference letters often. I decline if I can't write a positive letter. Yes, there are some former students I passed that I wish wouldn't become nurses, but that's my opinion and I would never say I'm always correct enough to squash dreams.
I don't think it would hurt, and it might help, to talk with your advisor or the dean. Schools keep clinical evaluations about you in file...at least many do, because that's something that gets audited when the BON comes to check things out.
HR said they fully looked into the situation. My transcripts contained nothing to concern them as stated by the woman I spoke to. She also talked to my supervisor and manager at work who stated I have never done anything unsafe and anything to ever concern her at work. My hospital evaluations were also amazing. I have never been late to work once nor called off once since working at the hospital. The only thing the HR lady said was that I took the NCLEX multiple times and that included with the bad reference meant they had to take the situation serious. Let me also mention that after writing the bad review...apparently she contacted the person VIA PHONE and she spoke with them.....I dont know who it is but I have all my clinical evaluations including the one from whoever wrote something bad about me...for the sake of my reputation is it a bad idea to take them to HR at my job just to keep with my file? I dont wanna be known as a bad nurse or someone who is not smart....the nursing community is small in each town and city. At this point I know they wont hire me...but I just want to prove a point. I honestly feel like whoever this was attacked me for whatever reason. Maybe because I am not loud and did not partake in personal social conversations in clinical. Maybe I am not a likeable person because I dont talk a lot in social settings. In clinical I went there to do my job and leave. I interacted with patients, advocated for them..I even had patients tell my professors I would make an amazing nurse....of course professors would nod and quickly change the subject....no one seems to want to say good things about people or listen but are quick to say the negative or listen to the negative.
I would be contacting the dean of the program and asking for a meeting. Explain the situation. I would also ask HR for a copy of the reference. In this day and age I think it is illegal for someone to give a negative review. They can merely say yes they would hire you or no they would not and leave it at that. So I would contact the dean of the program because at the very least someone has shown very poor professionalism and needs taken to task over it and at the worst they have violated the law.
OP, you weren't hired because you failed the NCLEX multiple times. That's on you. YOU chose who to get reference from. That's on you. That you chose poorly (I know, I know, you were desperate and needed a reference NOW), is on you. Ranting that one of your instructors has ruined your life and squashed your dreams is a bit far-fetched.
Oh I would like to throw out there that I have read and signed all my clinical evaluations...I know what they said and nothing was EVER negative. I actually have a good idea of who said something bad about me. I'm pretty sure it was the man who reported me to my professor. He wanted me to make up a clinical that I was TWO MINUTES LATE TO on the first day in a hospital I had never been to. The sad part is I was 20 minutes early but had gotten lost in the hospital. Everyone else car pooled but I didn't. I was in contact with my classmates trying to locate where to go the entire time. They even informed the instructor and he eventually located me in the hospital and took me to the floor. He then made me sign a paper saying I was late to clinical and contacted my professor and informed her I was "late"...he wanted me to come in again during the week to make up the clinical and drive over an hour away from my house but my professor disagreed to it. I dont know what possessed me to even write him for a recommendation....I guess I was "thirsty" for a recommendation and I had my heart set on something and really wanted it. I know I cant go back in time but I really hate myself for this....I was better off writing who I could trust and sacrificing a job....now I have to sacrifice every job at this hospital because I was an idiot and desperate.
I'm sorry if I have upset anyone with my comments. I just really needed someone to talk to about this because I feel stuck and hopeless....sorry..
I failed the NCLEX twice....sorry I didn't pass the first time. Steve Jobs was once fired from Apple but look how smart and amazing he was. Not everyone gets it on the first try. I'm sorry. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I am glad I took it more than once because it has humbled me as a person. I studied my butt off and learned more than I ever have....yes it would have been nice to pass the first time but sadly it didn't happen that way and I AM OK WITH IT. Are you done?.....Like seriously are you done? I don't need you lecturing me about how this is my fault. I am already beating myself up about the situation?
I feel used. As if my school took all my money and now is setting me up for failure.
I just never thought my own school would do this to me as a new grad. How can I prove myself if they ruined all my chances of someone giving me a shot at my dream? I am really thinking twice about persuing this career.....why do I have to work else where to prove myself to someone? Nursing is not about a paper and pencil and a test....being a good nurse comes from the heart and the rest comes after it. Again....I would never put any one in danger...for someone to say I would never initiate patient care or I am not competent is a big deal...
This whole situation sucks. It sucks that this professor took the energy to write a bad letter. There is a difference in writing a passing clinical eval and writing a good recommendation letter. As a PP said, Just bc they pass you in clinical doesnt mean they would recommend you for a job. But im still floored that they would go out of their way to say bad things! I was asked to give a reference for someone i went to nursing school with once who was interviewing for my floor, but i did not think highly of their nursing skills so i just said i cannot comment on their performance. I didnt say anything good. But i didnt directly say anything bad. I was under the impression that thats what most ppl would do if they cannot give a positive reference.
But you should stop blaming the school, especially if you want to discuss this further with a dean. The school did nothing wrong. The reference person was the problem. The school does not dictate or write the references. The potential employer was annoying and demanded certain letters of recc in a specific way that may have made you desperate for any letter but unfortunately they can do that.
I have no idea what you can do about this. Sure the nclex thing doesnt help but it isnt related to the bad reference. Its the hospitals choice what they look at in determining qualified candidates. If you had other, positive references, i would have thought they could not heavily weigh the bad one.
Moving forward, when applying for other jobs (there will be other jobs!!!) just emphasize ur pca experience and find professors who you know will speak highly of you!! Ask your current manager where you are a pca if they have other friends in other hospitals since he/she thinks highly of you but you cannot be hired at this hospital.
Postpartum RN
253 Posts
I'm sorry this happened to you, and I can imagine that you feel this instructor tried to "ruin" your life. It seems like that to you. I have no idea why they wouldn't just ignore te request if she didn't plan on giving you a good reccomendation! Ouch I'm sorry that's so very frustrating. I would recommend finding an instructor, just one, that you trust and ask them if they would give a positive reference. If not, find some references from your current job to use. Good luck, keep applying at other hospitals. Obviously you did really well in those interviews since they wanted to hire you right away! Don't give up, keep applying elsewhere