Bad Experience with Nurses at hospital, rethinking my major now.

Nurses General Nursing

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I will start off by explaining that I am a nursing student. I got into nursing because I love to work hard, work on my feet, be challenged, and most importantly help others. I am planning a trip to India to volunteer at an HIV clinic, because for me it’s not about money, It’s about helping others and giving them support when the need it the most.

This weekend, a close friend of mine assaulted me. I had no idea that would happen, and it was emotionally traumatizing. I called the police, but 15 minutes later they still had not arrived. I asked my friend to drive me to the hospital because I was having vision disturbances and vertigo, and I was worried about having major head trauma.

My friend dropped me off and went back to her house to wait for the police and tell them where we were. I was alone, and taken back immediately because of my facial contusions and bleeding from my nose. The nurse who greeted me was unpleasant to say the least. The first thing out of her mouth was “Why did you let this happen? Why did they do this to you?” She began to lecture me, as I sat bleeding, dizzy, and unable to see about making better friends.

I don’t do drugs, I don’t hang out with “shady” people, this isn’t something I ever foresaw happening to me. No one who knew this person thought in a million years he would assault me. A minute later I went to the bathroom and I forgot where I was. I was extremely dizzy and began to panic. I walked out into the hallway, walked up to a staff member and said “I need help, something is wrong with me, I don’t know where I am” She shouted at me to go back to my room. I didn’t know where “my room” was, so I stood there “I can’t breathe” I said. I was having a panic attack.

She took me back to my room and said “You are in the hospital. There is nothing wrong with you. The doctor will come in to evaluate you soon. Take this” and handed me two pills. I asked what they were and she said “Calm down, Just take it!” and left the room.

5 minutes later, two nurses had an argument outside my room about one nurse who “had an attitude” they began to curse at each other, shouting about some other situation, not taking into consideration there was a terrified victim of assault three feet away, hearing all of this.

Maybe my friend should have stayed with me, but she left because she wanted to police to know where I was. She came right back with them about a half hour later. The nurse acted like my friend dropped me off and left me there because she had no respect for me. She acted like I did this to myself, telling me I needed a “new group of friends”

Just this experience is making me think maybe I don’t want to go into nursing. If I had been working, I would have told that nurse to calm down, and to talk to the patient like a person. She had no idea what my situation was, and yet she chose to lecture me when I was scared and vulnerable. The nurses fighting outside my room was just totally unprofessional. I had no idea someone who worked so hard to get this degree would act like that. I feel like if these are going to be my coworkers, then I don’t want to be in this field. I guess what I am hoping for is for someone to tell me not all hospital envoirnments are like that, and that we are allowed to be nice and caring to our patients. I don’t want to become bitter and unpleasant, like these nurses were. This whole experience was so humiliating; I wish I could have been treated with compassion.

I'm not going to criticize the nurses in the ER nor am I going to make excuses for them. None of us were there to witness the nurse's interactions with the OP. The OP had some confusion going on, her recollection of the events may not reflect that happened. How many times have we had a confused patient accuse us of trying to poison them with their meds or call 911 because we're holding them against their will.

And I am rather surprised at all of the folks here who are pushing the OP to complain about the nurses (or UAP) involved. Way to turn on your own.

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
And I am rather surprised at all of the folks here who are pushing the OP to complain about the nurses (or UAP) involved. Way to turn on your own.

Hardly turning on your own, it is self policing of our profession. How many times do we hear of terrible surgeons continuing to harm people because their colleagues refuse "to turn on your own"? Bad behavior is bad behavior no matter what the profession.

OP, sounds like you are dealing with this well. Kudos to you for trying to stop a drunk from driving, and for the courage to follow up with police and court. The complaints that our director brings to the floor are much better received when prefaced with "I just wanted you to know about my experience" and a calm description of what happened, rather than fire-eating attacks on her staff. More likely to have something done about it as well. :hug:

Self-policing? Alleged rudeness is far from dangerous surgery.

many of us who come into nursing from a desire to serve and a love of helping end up tripping hard over the fact that we get very little gratitude for or acknowledgement of the good we do. i believe this is what aznurse1 was referring to as "unrealistic expectations".

most of our patients will not break down and cry in their appreciation of our work for them ... most of them won't even realize what we've done and some will actively complain that we didn't do a good enough job. many will be abusive, angry, whatever ... and they take it out on us because we're there. aznurse1 is right in pointing out that there is absolutely no support for the nurse when this happens.

is it so hard to imagine that maybe the person she dealt with was wrong, period??? note that most of the people who replied had positive things to say and assured her this is not common, or ok. the op just wanted to be sure not every setting is like that. she had a bad experience and needed some re-assuring.

and come on...lots of jobs leave us stressed, overworked, with no appreciation from anyone and taking the blunt force of the patient or customers complaints when we really aren't to blame. regardless of the job, it's still not an excuse to provide poor care/service. it sounds like your saying lack of support/appreciation is a part of nursing that you should expect to encounter...if this is the case then you should be able to remain compassionate towards your patients despite this! and maybe the ones who can't are the ones with their heads in the clouds.

maybe i'm just a little thrown off by the response and not reading it in regards to the op...i'm not sure.

and is wanting to help people not a good reason to get into nursing? if not, then what is?? i'm sincerely curious... :confused:

Specializes in School Nursing.

OP, it sounds like you have your head on straight, and I think you are going to do great things in nursing.

I do have to point out that you did have a head injury, and you yourself state "I was in a daze". Is it possible that you misconstrued something the nurse said, or heard wrong? Head injuries do all sorts of things to one's perception and I think we would be amiss to not consider the possibility that things did not happen exactly as you recall, especially since you did not have your friend with you to confirm the events as they happened.

Please understand, I am NOT saying you are being untruthful...I fully believe that you perceive the events to have happened as you describe. I am only pointing out the possibility that you perception might have been skewed due to your injuries.

Take care of yourself and do seek counseling if you need help dealing with this trauma. You seem to be coping well, but sometimes we can have issues after a trauma such as this that do not show for some time.

DON'T believe for one nano-second that this was your fault. Ever. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Ever. Please contact a local women's shelter as they have the best leads on therapists who deal with trauma. They also have advocates that are so very helpful. Once you can put the pieces together to make some sort of sense out of what happend, (and some things are just senseless) then you can think about making changes or not in your future. My heart goes out to you and I wish you nothing but the best.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

Am I the only one who has noticed that most of the time the threads with the most responses are the ones that bash nurses?

The OP stated she was dizzy, confused, and at one point didn't know where she was. But stated clearly here, every ugly encounter with the ER nuses on that traumatic morning. The OP remembers verbal exchanges exactly.

We don't have any of the ER nurses here to give us their story on what happened during that time. One side, one story, rarely makes for an accurate account of an incident like the one described by the OP. The part about pills being shoved at her simply doesn't ring true at the risk of sounding callous.

I don't work ER and I DON'T WANT TO. EVER. The stories of the Saturday night drunks. The fights. The cops being called. The same drug seeking pts sometimes every single night.

Bloodied, confused, throw in a panice attack and cut the ER nurse some slack that maybe she assessed the situation wrong.

I hope the OP is healing. It is not my intent to minimize her experience.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
you know what, you are right. i shouldn't let that unprofessional actions of one rn deter me. i don't think i would ever treat someone that way, no matter how bad a day i was having. i don't have my head in the clouds about nursing any more than i did about dental assisting. i know it is going to be stressful, and a lot of work. i know i am going to see things that are disturbing and tragic, and i am going to see the worst of people. there are many drug seeking patients and addicts in dental care as well. i've been spit on, screamed at, and harassed working as a dental assistant. i don't expect everyone to appreciate my work, as many don't even recognize a dental assistant. i made the switch because i wanted to work with more than just that one part of the body. i want to help people when they are at their worst. i realize now i was generalizing because of one unorganized, unprofessional department. i was wondering if the way i was treated was the norm- and obviously it isn't. i am very glad to have so many people write and tell me that this isn't normal.

the other staff members who were fighting, they may not have even been nurses, but the way they spoke to each other, especially the cursing, was totally uncalled for. they knew patients could hear them. someone should have stopped them. i would never want to work with people that spoke to eachother like that. i don't usually have panic attacks, and no, i have never been assaulted before, but i know this may be something i have to deal with as a nurse. i was brutally attacked by someone i thought was a friend, because i didn't want him to drive intoxicated. i took his keys and tried to help him, and he ended up slamming me into a wall and punching me.

at that moment, while i was bleeding, scared, and traumatized, was not the time to say "you did this to yourself" "make better friends" hello, i think i figured out that i made a mistake. i never thought that this friend would beat me. if i could go back and change it, i would. this was at 10am on a saturday, and i was sober, my friend that drove me was sober, and i honestly have no idea what is wrong with this guy that he did that, why he was drunk, or why he decided to come over that way. i have never seen him like that, it was possible he was on drugs, and i never plan on speaking to him again unless it is in a courtroom. this is someone i have known for 5 years, who was never violent before. i don't know of anyone who gets abused and thinks "i knew that was coming".

i didn't go into the er expecting anything; i was in a total daze. but after being discharged and looking back on the experience, the way that rn spoke to me, without knowing me or my situation, really made me sick. the panic attack was humiliating, the way she shouted and shoved pills at me made me uneasy. she should have explained what she was giving me, at least.

anyways, thanks everyone who left positive comments. you are right. i will use this as more motivation to be a great nurse. it means a lot that you agree with me that this was inappropriate.

:hug:.....good for you!!

Specializes in Home Health.

I have witnessed more than one nurse treat a patient like trash, in the ER and on the floor. I find this kind of behavior to be very unsettling - almost as if the nurse enjoyed the torture and pain caused. Somehow, they always skate free too!

Specializes in FNP.
fine, don't be a nurse, then

This was my thought as well. What are we supposed to do, try to talk you into it? Pretty please, please please please still go be nurse? Lame. The ED visit sounds unpleasant and you probably have good reason to vent about it, but the whining about "maybe I shouldn't be a nurse" nonsense is hard to take seriously. And it's lame.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
This was my thought as well. What are we supposed to do, try to talk you into it? Pretty please, please please please still go be nurse? Lame. The ED visit sounds unpleasant and you probably have good reason to vent about it, but the whining about "maybe I shouldn't be a nurse" nonsense is hard to take seriously. And it's lame.

Harsh, but I agree. My halo and wings are at the cleaners.

did you even read my responses after the initial post? i don't think you did. i even said, yeh, it was stupid for me to let that get in the way of my dream.

no way was i expecting anyone to beg me to stay with nursing. i had a moment of doubt because of the er i experienced. did you ever have a moment when you felt like maybe you made the wrong choice? i guess you never second guessed yourself? i would never, ever want to work with the people i encountered, and i will never go to that hospital again.

what i specifically asked was if this was normal occurrence. " i guess what i am hoping for is for someone to tell me not all hospital environments are like that, and that we are allowed to be nice and caring to our patients"

i feel a lot better after learning that most people agree with me that the nurse was out of line. was i out of it? yes, i was confused and traumatized. do i remember her entire lecture the nurse gave me when i first arrived- no, i don't, but i remember parts of it, and she was accusatory and rude. i do remember exactly what was said to me when she shoved meds in my face and shouted at me to calm down and take them, refusing to explain what i was taking. none of that is contrived.

so you feel the need to mock me and call me lame? i hope that makes you feel good. go ahead, i've been through enough this week your ignorant comment really is the least of the crap i've had to deal with.

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