ATTENTION MOMMIES!

fc89 · Aug 13, 2011

hi moms! I'm 22 and only have one son who is 3 going on 4. He will be attending pre-k this Sep. but for only 3 hrs. I have a wonderful support system that consists of my mom, my boyfriend who helps me out A LOT, and also some of my moms friends who are really helpful. Since I'll be out 4 days/week and a bunch of hours in the library for studying, I will be needing their help a lot. I'm just glad they understand how much I am going to need them these 2 years.

BelleNscrubs04 · Aug 13, 2011

I'm the mother of two boys ages 4, and 11. It's such a relief to read everyone's posts and not feel like you are the only one juggling. My family is very supportive but doesn't live nearby. My husband works 60+ hours a week. He's supportive, and a great dad but he can only do so much. Here's what I'm doing:

I posted on Facebook and a local moms forum for occasional babysitters willing to keep sick children. I'm considering posting on sittercity or care.com.

I'm learning to take any help offered : ) I'm coming up with a mental list of things people can do to help if they offer.

I'm lowering my expectations of myself in all other areas. My house will be more messy. I'll use more paper plates. Our meals will be simpler (blue box Mac and cheese and bagged salad simple). Gifts will be gift cards. I won't be sending cards but will be sending e-mails instead. I'm only decorating for Xmas with a tree and a wreath. Family and friends are all getting the same simple Xmas gift. Halloween costumes will be whatever we can find at a big box store, the first time I see them out. We'll cut only one pumpkin... without an elaborate kit design. My kids will spend less time at museums and on play dates and more time playing video games, and watching tv. Hopefully I can convince them to throw in a little Lego building and coloring for good measure. They will spend more time at the park where there is a bench I can sit and study on while they play.

Kids are laying out their book bags and clothes the night before. Picking out breakfast that can be eaten in the car on the way to school, and packing their lunches. Lunches will be packed full enough for leftovers to be after school snack (no additional prep or cleanup).

I bought a chore chart and made a reward system.

Posted a large monthly family calendar with everyone's activities/events written in.

Posted a weekly dry erase board with more detail of what everyone needs to do. I bought a nursing student planner and filled it in too. I'm going to write in assignments, tests when I get my syllabus. I also posted a "time map" with how I'll spend my time typically. I found 28 hours a week I can study if I use my time wisely and stick to the plan. I scheduled time to spend with the kids too.

I'm trying to get my house as neat as possible before school starts. I'm de-cluttering and having a yard sale.

I stock pile groceries/toiletries. I shop at publix on the day of their new flyers. I look it up online quickly on a couponing site and then stock up on the good deals like their BOGO. I then cook from what I have.

When my hubby grills I have him precook extra chicken to go in the freezer for quick meals later. If we cook something that keeps well we make a lot, and put half in the freezer. I'm gathering crockpot and quick cook recipes now. My 11 year old is going to be responsible for one meal a week, hot dogs, pb&j with fruit, or microwaveable boxed pasta with bagged salad is fine once a week : )

sommeil, ASN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

i have four kids. 3 girls (14,12,2) and a newborn boy 4 days old (i had him three days before Level 1 nursing finals). It's been difficult but not impossible. Fortunately, i have my mom to help so I drive to class an hour before class and study. Also I study a few hours on the weekends when my husband is home. I ended up with a B in the class and I don't know that I would have done much better if I was single.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

Nursing actually sounds like a GREAT route for a single mom to take. It's good pay and can be good hours for a struggling mom. She can do 3 12's and have 4 days off with her kiddos. In fact, that struggle might make that mom see that everyone has a story and cause her to be less judgmental of others and their situations

ANYWAY, to the OP, I did it with 4 kids and minimal help. My husband was out of town 5 months of the year working and I would only see him every 6 or so weeks. So I was mostly on my own except for financial. I have no family close by and my friends were in NS.

It isn't easy but it can be done.

I had a gaggle of kids and if I was able to I would probably have another one. Each of them was very much wanted.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

I know a mother who has 4 kids and her husband/their dad was killed in a car accident. So now what?

I had a kid at 16, I left the dad when I was pregnant still. I then went on to get married and had 2 more kids by the time I was 22. A couple years later I decided to get my priorities straight and go INTO nursing and do something with my life. You have to learn to just blow off the negative and bitter people. Very sorry for your friend, she faces such a hard road in life.

oklahomagal · Aug 13, 2011

Oh! I will join in here :-) I have a fantastic gaggle of kids, all five of them are great! I have no husband, I chose to divorce him 4 years ago and I haven't regretted a single moment of being a single mom. I will be starting my first semester of NS next week. I have organized my home, filled my freezer with easy to prepare foods and plan to cook on Sunday evenings enough for that nights meal and leftovers for at least one other meal that week. Kids will survive on hamburger helper if it comes down to it. Its easy to cook, and easy to clean after, especially if you use paper plates. I dont know what my baby sitter situation is looking like when clinicals start but I am leaving that up to God. He has provided for me to make it this far into my education and I know he will get me through the rest. :heartbeat Glad to see the other mamas on here :heartbeat

mzrainydayz, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

If you're 30 and have 5 kids, I hope their father is in the picture, or you're married to him!! Seems like every female that was under 25 in my class that had kids either a) had NO contact with her kids fathers or b) chalked up their kid as a "mistake." Seriously, people going intoa profession to help others needs to get their priorities straight before having a gaggle of kids.

That was a harsh comment, I applaud her for taking care of her kids, and trying to better her education with or with out the father.

MammaNurse2Be · Aug 13, 2011

I am a mom to 3 kids, 12, 9 and 6. I went back to school when my oldest was 2 and have been slowly working towards this goal for that entire time. I have a supportive husband who works a lot and I do not have family around. I rely soley on hired help to get me through. My goal is to work hard core for 4 1/2 days and by friday at 10 be done with my work until the following week. I have hired a housekeeper to do the laundry and housework and have college age girls that I know to drive my kids to school and after school activities. It is my goal to meet them at those activities when possible. Me going to school is all my kids have known so they are supportive and aware that at times I have to study. I have been able to really focus my time in 15 increments and get done all I need to while maintaining a good gpa. Since this is my first time in NS, I don't know what to expect work load wise but I am confident that I will adapt to what is given. I have menu plans and will be sticking to those weekly to get good food on my table as always. I know it is a blessing to be able to afford a housekeeper and I know how hard it is to keep a house clean. I normally do all of the cooking and cleaning so am eternally grateful that I can now pass this responsibility to someone for four semesters. I have back ups for my backup sitters and have all of their numbers listed along with their schedules so I don't get thrown if someone can't show up for work. I have been working on my reading and printing of powerpoints and am trying to get as organized as possible before week after next. My husband keeps telling me that he knows I can do it and do it well so I my heart is really full when I think how he is emotionally and physically supporting me right now to fulfill this dream. I believe that mommies can be successful at school and at being mommies. We will make great nurses as we have been through the trenches with our own kids. We know how to juggle a million things at once and when we truly shine we share our knowlege willingly and mentor those that need help. I am 41 and stand strong in where I am in my life and am so proud to be a mommy and nursing student!

Go mommies!

nslate02 · Aug 13, 2011

Hello Mommies!

I am 25 with two kids, well sorta...I have a 4yo and one in the oven due anyday. I start NS in 6 weeks and I am very excited yet nervous at the same time! My daughter is very independant and it has been awhile since we've had a baby around here! My husband, grandma, and mother plan on helping me as much as possible. The best piece of advice that I was given recently was "JUST DO THE NEXT THING! Don't Stress over changes in schedules!" Good luck to you all during this next school year!

Kate1185 · Aug 14, 2011

I LOVE this thread! It's great to "meet" other moms going through nursing school! I am 32, and have 4 lovely daughters ages 12, 10, 6, and 4. It is tough with scheduling childcare, especially for clinical days, but I know It will all work out. I have a very supportive husband, though I can't rely too heavily on him to be of help with the kids as he works at least 70 hours per week so our needs can be met. (I can't wait to graduate so I can take some of that burden from him.) My mom will help when she can, though she's a teacher and works long hours herself. But as someone else said, if God wants me to do this, He'll make a way. He's never let me down before! Good luck to all, I hope we can keep in touch here and there through the semester. And as always, Mi Vida Loca, you are such an encouragement. Thank you.

Hospice Nurse LPN, BSN, RN · Aug 15, 2011

I went through NS w/ 4 kids as a single mom. And Tyler 77 I did not have any help from their father. He is deceased. I waited until they were a little older and all in school. The older ones watched the younger ones when we had clinicals (we did 12hr shifts Tues/Thurs).

I did lots of cooking on the w/e so supper was not too much trouble. We had "quiet time" on Saturday afternoons from 1300 to 1600. EVERYONE either had to do homework or read. No talking!! The kids still tease me about this. My house was never as clean as I would have liked it, but what the heck!

Just do the next right thing and don't sweat the small stuff.

BTW, if your kids are in school, you can post everyones report card on the fridge.:redpinkhe

ETA: My "gaggle" were all planned....and loved!

mommy_5 · Aug 16, 2011

Hospice Nurse LPN you are an inspiration!! Congrats on your wonderful accomplishment! And how proud you must be you done it ALONE!! That says alot about your character!! SUCCESS is yours!! I am praying it all works out for me! I know it won't be easey but it will all be worth it!