Are you married sweetie?"

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I'm always asked by my patients " are you married " every time I work, I feel so uncomfortable explaining my personal life to these people! does anyone else feel this way.. I have my own view on marriage and equality for people that I wont share with patients but what do we do when asked personal questions about our life..:sarcastic: Some nurses go into great detail about all their kids all that... am I not being personable to my patients

Specializes in ICU.

It drives me a little crazy when people ask questions about me being married and having kids. I answer them honestly, though - I'm not married, though my boyfriend of five years is wonderful, and I don't have any kids because I don't want them. If someone gets offended by that, it's their own problem. I don't go up to people I don't know and ask them personal questions; maybe they should learn not to ask personal questions either.

I honestly feel sorry for people who think that's the only conversation starter they can use. Don't they have any other interests than their family? I don't know about them, but I read books, watch movies, am a HUGE fan of HGTV and Animal Planet, and played the piano for many years. I'm also into ghost hunting shows and love supernatural stories. I have many more interests than that, those are just examples but I've found that I can make a real connection with other people without ever bringing up spouses, children, etc. once. I think it's a little sad if people have boxed themselves in so much that their family is all they have to talk about. I mean jeez, didn't they EVER have a hobby? Ever? Just one? It's mindboggling.

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This is the rudest thing ever... I had a patient's family member look at my belly, say "I see that you're expecting" and raise her eyebrows at me. Ummm, no. The only time I would comment on a stranger's gravid state is if she was crowning!

I had it happen once. I looked at her and replied "nope, I'm just fat". That response finally stopped the inane questions.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
I had it happen once. I looked at her and replied "nope, I'm just fat". That response finally stopped the inane questions.

I had the opposite happen when I floated to the geriatric program. A little old Italian lady told me I was fat. I was 8 months pregnant with the beginnings of preeclampsia so I was really puffy.

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Specializes in Allergy and Immunology.
I wouldn't tell a patient I didn't want kids. Might be seen as insulting if they have children or love children. I would just say, "no I do not, maybe in the future" even if you have no intentions of children.

That's exactly what I say, "No I don't have kids, maybe in the future", to get them off my back.

I don't want kids and cant have them (surgery-by my choice). Its too complicated to try to explain to someone that you don't want kids. So I just let them think I will in the future. And I change the subject.

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A pt (they are from Pakistan) asks me all the time when i getting married,becuase im getting old(im 31)

This same lady keeps commenting about my wt. She said to me "I see you are big again".

She then goes on about how she never sees this skiiny nurse eat meat. If a new nurse is thin she goes on about how pretty they are.

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Specializes in Cardicac Neuro Telemetry.
This is the rudest thing ever... I had a patient's family member look at my belly, say "I see that you're expecting" and raise her eyebrows at me. Ummm, no. The only time I would comment on a stranger's gravid state is if she was crowning!

That is so freakin rude! For the very reason you stated above, I never ask someone if they are pregnant even if I suspect it. Also, its none of my damn business and if they wanted to know, they would tell me! I would feel so bad having my foot in my mouth if the woman I asked that of was just carrying some extra weight.

Some people have no idea what boundaries are.

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Specializes in critical care.
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Specializes in Med Surg.

Meh. I don't really care that much. I'll answer. They're must making convo. Plus, we're in the south, it's kind of a thing.

Not to mention that we ask them the same questions. I have pretty thick skin. The only thing I really get all het up about is when I am disappointed in myself. Otherwise, it's not my deal.

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Specializes in Med Surg.
[ATTACH]12676[/ATTACH]

You're so right. In those last five pics you can just skip straight to, "When are you due?"

j/k

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Specializes in critical care.

Oops. I need to be banned from the interwebs.

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Why would telling the truth mean I am not thinking about the patient? I prefer not to take the, "your weak and can't handle the truth" stance with my patients. I think it is insulting to treat adults like babies. I give short answers and turn the attention back on them. If they press, I politely say, we are here for you, not me.

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Specializes in Adult Health.

Heh....I just tell them the truth: No kids, engaged, now how are you doing? Let's see what I do to help you feel better/get out of here/blah blah blah (ok not quite like that, but still). once I did tell someone it was none of his business after he didn't take the hint and the "I would prefer not to discuss my personal life" as an indication that it was none of his business.

If they persist I tell them one child is about 91 in people years a loves to chase balls and the other one is about 71 in people years and loves cans of tuna.

Usually that stops them.

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