Are you married sweetie?"

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I'm always asked by my patients " are you married " every time I work, I feel so uncomfortable explaining my personal life to these people! does anyone else feel this way.. I have my own view on marriage and equality for people that I wont share with patients but what do we do when asked personal questions about our life..:sarcastic: Some nurses go into great detail about all their kids all that... am I not being personable to my patients

I've been in direct patient care for 13 years and a RN for almost 6. I absolutely don't want kids. I like kids but I like my childless lifestyle.

If a patient asks me if I'm married I tell them no. I'm in a relationship but that's none of their business. And as far as a patient asking me if I want children I tell them no I never had children. It is the truth. I'm close to 40 and I don't want a kid at this age and have never wanted kids. Then I get the how long have you been a nurse question because I look very young but that's a whole other thread.

My point about how long I've been in healthcare is this. Not once in my 13 years in direct patient care have I've been called into the office saying that I offended a patient because I don't have and don't want kids. I am a different person than my patients. We all have different lifestyles. Some people have children and some do not. There is nothing wrong with this.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

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Specializes in Pedi.
Yea It is weird to think we ask such personal questions from our patients but when they turn it on us we don't want to explain our lives to them. Being asked "Oh you're not married and no kids yet?" strikes a small bone in me and makes me realize what I don't have. I can't wait til I have my kids and as time moves on I get more worried. I have to admit one thing I have learned from every patient I've cared for and this is my own opinion, the patients who having never chosen to have a child seem lonely versus the patients who did have kids. My heart breaks when that patient is 101 is sitting there alone and when asked if any visitors, kids etc were coming they say no I never did have kids. I want one so at-least when I'm not being turned or fed or my brief changed frequently my kid can go off on some nurse!! haha :)

During the brief time I worked with adults, I found it 1000x more heartbreaking to know that the person who was alone with no visitors DID have children- several children and grandchildren- who just couldn't be bothered to visit him/her. Not having children doesn't guarantee a lifetime of loneliness just as having children does not guarantee a lifetime of company... as a pediatric nurse, I've known many people who used all their resources to get pregnant, finally had their dream child and then that child died long before either parent.

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I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope before long you will have a little one(s) of your own.

Thanks for saying that; I really appreciate it. :)

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Ha, I would do stuff like too when I worked at the hospital. Good way to throw off nosy pts who ask way too many personal questions. It was amusing to tell the pushy Christian pts that I'm Wiccan. Or the "let's set this guy up with our niece" set that I already have a "significant other". (talking about your "significant other" works on the nosy religious pt as well)

This is hilarious and reminded me of something that one of my late dad's friends told me once - sort of OT but not really. We were talking about religion. My dad was raised Catholic, baptized Catholic, and went to Catholic schools his whole life (this friend was from his Catholic high school in Philly). My mother was raised and baptized Baptist in the South (yeah, I know, I know...).

This person told me I should tell people I'm a Druid.

It was HILARIOUS. :)

Back to the thread... :)

(What I really say is "I split the difference and joined the United Methodist Church when I was in high school.") :)

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Yea It is weird to think we ask such personal questions from our patients but when they turn it on us we don't want to explain our lives to them.

While I hear what you're saying, there's a difference here. The personal questions I'm asking have to do with caring for that person. That's a bit different than asking them for their personal life history, their living situation, their child situation.

Even when I'm asking them questions at admission, I'm doing so to provide care for them (I'm thinking of the, "Whom should we notify in case of an emergency?" sort of questions.) Other than that, there's very little they really and honestly need to know about me.

But if you're a dog lover, I'll probably whip out my iPhone and share a pic or two of my "son". :)

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Specializes in ICU/PACU.

I've had several patients ask me when I'm expecting. I'm just fat.

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I've had several patients ask me when I'm expecting. I'm just fat.

Haha one patient came back to us and she asked me if I had my baby yet. I'm perpetually single but have a large belly.

Turns out she genuinely confused me with one of our pregnant aides. Gave me a good laugh.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
I've had several patients ask me when I'm expecting. I'm just fat.

Yeah...had that too...I miss getting seats on a crowded bus, lol. ;)

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Specializes in Emergency.

This is the rudest thing ever... I had a patient's family member look at my belly, say "I see that you're expecting" and raise her eyebrows at me. Ummm, no. The only time I would comment on a stranger's gravid state is if she was crowning!

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I admit this question bothers me, too. I know most of my patients are just trying to be friendly, but I still hate it when they ask me for my due date (I'm expecting) or what I will name the baby. It just seems much too personal to share with someone who doesn't know me.

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I don 't like any questions. Tv shows? I have to make up answers or say, I don't watch tv" in case anyone would be offended by the reality tv shows I like to watch......I only ask "personal questions" in context of their care.

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This is the rudest thing ever... I had a patient's family member look at my belly, say "I see that you're expecting" and raise her eyebrows at me. Ummm, no. The only time I would comment on a stranger's gravid state is if she was crowning!

Seriously, how do people - women especially - reach adulthood with the complete and utter lack of tact that allows them to ask the pregnant belly question?! I'd give them the "pillow tune-up" someone mentioned on another thread (apply pillow firmly to facial region, repeat PRN)

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