Anyone dating a med-student?

Published

Does it work out? Want to know some experience or advice.

Has any one ever considered a dentist? My girlfriend is in her 3rd year of dental school and she's THE best ever. She said a lot of the students who go on to be oral surgeons easily develop the "god-complex", but I have noticed that a lot of her friends that are completing the general track of 4 years aren't that way. They get a little nuts over teeth sometimes; nothing like having lunch with 5 dental students to make you hate teeth, but at least they're not doing it just for the money! Many of our dates are 6-12 hour study sessions where we keep each other sane.

I think the reason dating a dentist is so nice is because dentists and nurses typically don't work in the same area. Less tension, maybe? Less bias towards/for a certain profession?

It's funny because my old dentist (who was sexy as hell AND single) gave me the same advice! He said I should marry a dentist because MDs (and oral surgeons) are too much headache!

I initially had my heart set on marrying a doctor (or maybe it was more like my family was set on me marrying a doc) but after reading all of this and based on the interactions with my friends from university who are in med school...yeah I'm gonna make for trip to get my teeth checked! ;)

Plus my mom is a clinical nurse and she said most of the residents end up marrying other residents. :sarcastic:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency, Correctional, Indigent Health.

I have been around female nurses for almost 43 years and I can tell you one thing about dating a med student. RUN RUN RUN. I have so many stories to say about the terrible things that happen to women who date and even marry med students. Look up Narcissist in the dictionary and you will find a picture of a med student next to the definition. Narcissists are only 1% of the population, but they gravitate to Medicine, and the Academics. A recent book, "The Narcissist in your Bed" is on Amazon. Check into it.

I have a son who is a doctor and for all intents and purposes we don't speak. He has no respect for me as an ARNP, because I didn't go to med school. My 40+ years of experience mean nothing to him, yet the Doctors I do work with are very comfortable with my ability to work at the mid level position.

A wonderful nurse I worked with may years ago was single and I wondered why. She told a frightening story of a marriage to a doctor and how it was a nightmare. Socially he was only comfortable in with his doctor friends and she felt 100% left out. Another woman worked her tail off to put her husband through med school, and the night he graduated he told her he was leaving her for another woman. The list goes on and on.

I know you think I am an old foggy, but I have years of experience on you and I have seen the end results of many relationships with Doctors, Fireman, and Policeman. Nurses were described in a book by the Snows, a Husband/Wife nursing team, titled "I am Dying to Take Care of You." In it they described most nurses as being co-dependent personalities. Trust me they are right. I learned so much from that book. I am not sure it is even in print anymore. Yet it explained that that kind of personality sends us into nursing, because we have become in need of someone to take care of. Including their eventual spouse, frequently Doctors, Firemen, and Policemen. They are also frequently troubled spirits, who are looking to be cared for themselves, as their professions put them in the helping mode, even if they don't want it. As strange as may seem now, look for someone who looks up to you, and enjoys taking care of YOU. It will be a big factor later in life. Good Luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

@ PinkEagle[COLOR=#000000] . Good to see you here! HAHA dentists have better lifestyles than doctors, but I really don't like teeth, and I've dated a lot, just haven't a dentist LOL.

I'd say avoid dating surgeons. their ******* personality, super alpha doesn't appeal to me. I prefer a mix of alpha and beta. I've heard that a lot of the cheaters are surgeons. That being said, I say avoid med students. They still have years to go. Perhaps residents, fellows, or attending.

A lot of women here say they don't like doctors working long hours. Me, I prefer my man to work and make moneyarrow-10x10.png and so I can have more alone time.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My fiance and I have been together about 7 years. I was with him when he was rejected from med school the first time he applied, when he finally got in, and through all four years of med school. We got engaged a few months before he graduated. Now he's about halfway through his intern year in Family Medicine.

It was (and still is) very tough. When he was in med school, I helped him study many late nights with flashcards, etc. This actually wound up helping me in the long run when I decided to apply for nursing school a few years later. He was under a lot of stress to pass the USMLE, and it really took a toll on our relationship. Match Day was incredibly stressful too, especially since he didn't match to his top choice. He wound up moving 700 miles away to start his residency while I finished up my last semester of nursing school.

I've since graduated, passed my boards, and moved up with him. Now, his intern year has him working insane hours--there are days where I have maybe 2 hours to interact with him before he has to go to bed so he can wake up and do it all over again. It sucks, but he will be done with his intern year in July. I'm told that things get a lot better once intern year is out of the way. We'll see. We're getting married in October and had to really hound his employer when he first started to guarantee him the time off.

So here's my advice: it's not impossible, but it's also not easy. If you feel strongly about this person and you are willing to make a lot of compromises over the next several years, go for it. Realize that you're in it for the long haul, and the long haul frankly sucks sometimes. Take things one step at a time, make sure to talk to each other, encourage each other, and keep each other healthy (it's so easy to give in to terrible fast food and pizza deliveries with everything going on). Try to make time to do things together, however simple. It is what it is.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Medicine.

I'm married to a med student :) I agree with the above poster, it's tough but 100% depends on the person and the relationship. We don't tend to go out much, most of our free time is spent just relaxing at home and making time for each other. Completely doable but yes it can get a little stressful at times!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I wish I learned this lesson years ago and I ma ever so grateful that my daughter has learned it by the age of 21..

Relationships should enrich your life.

Don't fight for a bad one unless it's truly redeemable and there are kids at stake.

If your relationship ever makes you feel like crap, get the eff out.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pedi.
You really enjoy pointing this out, don't you? Because you did on the thread about vacation time too.

It was a thread about vacation time, that's what I use my vacation time for. This is a thread about dating/relationships. That's an important part of my life and something I'd want a partner to be able to share.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in hospice.

If your relationship ever makes you feel like crap, get the eff out.

Ever? Even good relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows. There are times it sucks. There are times you're mean to each other. There are times you accidentally hurt each other. To say you should get out if your relationship EVER makes you feel like crap makes relationships impossible.

I get what you're trying to say, but it needs to be said more precisely.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

My husband and I get into arguments once in a while. I can say with 100% certainty that neither he, nor our relationship, has EVER made me "feel like crap".

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

Nurses and cops and just go together, at least most of the time, because we share the same experiences, backgrounds, values and outlook on life.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in hospice.
Nurses and cops and just go together, at least most of the time, because we share the same experiences, backgrounds, values and outlook on life.

And they both understand working weird shifts, so the stress that comes from a spouse constantly kvetching about shift demands is absent. My dad was a cop for 30 years and my mom divorced him before they made it to 10....because she couldn't handle, basically, anything that came with being married to him.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Ever? Even good relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows. There are times it sucks. There are times you're mean to each other. There are times you accidentally hurt each other. To say you should get out if your relationship EVER makes you feel like crap makes relationships impossible.

I get what you're trying to say, but it needs to be said more precisely.

No, I think maybe defining what "feels like crap" is needed which is not hurt feelings or annoyance or disappointment.

It's what comes with staying with someone who disrespects you in what can be a variety of ways and is not a normal part of a mutually respectful relationship.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion