Another Quitter

Updated:   Published

Specializes in adult ICU.

I am so thankful, proud of and worried for healthcare professionals who are continuing this fight. My personal dilemma is this: my husband and I have several young children. There is nowhere to send them away to (grandparents are not local, older and in poor health, absolutely cannot be saddled with the care of our rowdy bunch that we counted on raising ourselves all along; our siblings either work remotely and/or have their own families to care for).

My husband continues to work remotely and is making the bigger share of our household income, so he cannot be expected to just quit his job and watch the kids 24/7 while I distance myself from the family in case of exposure. I am needed to care for the kids while he works. I had been scheduling my shifts around his schedule.

If I bring home COVID-19, we would be sick and having to care for sick or at least infectious children who cannot be emergently passed off to family because they would infect them too!

If one of both of us required hospitalization, the kids would have to go wherever the authorities can place them because of the contagion factor. It would be traumatic for the kids.

My husband is at a high risk for complications due to preexisting comorbidities. He is our family's heart and soul.

We all know that the odds of exposure to COVID as hospital staff under current conditions are excellent, even if not directly caring for confirmed COVID patients.

I don't see a way out other than to throw in the towel occupationally and stay home as a family through this except for rare necessary outings.

Years in the ICU and with current employer, but like many, I counted on working hard and going home to care for family on days off, not on soldiering on through a pandemic and risking my husband and children's health.

I feel some guilt walking out on my coworkers and fear of repercussions getting hired down the line after leaving this job, but I feel that these kids' mother and father cannot be replaced, unlike as a staff RN.

Godspeed and good health to all of you!

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You did the right thing to prioritize your family and your children. They are your life's legacy and will always be the pride of your golden years, regardless of anything else in the world. Best to you and your loved ones!

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Specializes in ICU.

I can definitely relate.. not so much on the kids factor, but the overall dilemma, as I believe all of us on here can. And to see how it is currently being bungled and completely mismanaged from the local level all the way up to the White House and has been from the beginning is nauseating. And it will continue to be...

At the end of the day (and this is a decision I made for myself), you do what you have to do. The dilemma is... continue how you are and risk yours and possibly husbands and kids health, or step away until things are managed properly in terms of safety protocols, necessary protection and equipment, etc. I made my choice a week ago and everyday have been going back and forth if it was wrong or right.. what I will think about it when it's over, etc.

I'm in ICU as well, and as you probably are too, I'm seeing younger healthy people with little to no co-morbidities being taken out quick and intensely, after presenting initially with mild symptoms and sent home to self quarantine. Sure, as critical care RN's, we see the worst of the worst, but there is no magic 8 ball, with who gets it and how hard. With CDC safety "recommendations" what they are, and indefinite limited PPE, we're getting exposed way more and with greater viral loads then anyone else.

Between the two decisions you can make... stay or go, pros and cons points can be debated on and on. But beyond all the debate, external, and certainly internal, what is the TOP priority? I think you know.. Your kids need a mother and your husband needs a wife. Your parents need their daughter.. And you need them all just as much. So as long as these roles are being fulfilled, everything will work out.. maybe not exactly as planned, but what ever does?

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Specializes in ER, Public Health, Community, PMHNP.

Dear OP,

I feel the same way after18 years in nursing and the various pandemics this is by far the worst. I am newly married and have two young elementary school aged children. I have given so much to nursing over the years. I have to think about my kids they both have asthma and my husband recently quit smoking. I can’t imagine bringing this virus into our home. I would feel so guilty. My heart goes out to my colleagues on the front lines, but I’m going to stay at home and pray for all of you and wait this out. This virus has made me reflect so deeply and see my life flashing right in front of my eyes. I want to be around to raise my kids.

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Specializes in Critical Care (MICU).

I feel you on this. So much. And I empathize with you 100%. I do not think there is a "right" or "wrong" answer. As nurses, prioritization is at the center of our decision-making. We also got into this profession because we care...a lot..about everyone. As nurses, it seems really "wrong" to just say "to hell with it, I'm out, this is too much." But we aren't just nurses. We are humans too. As humans, each of us is going to have a different list of priorities, in a different order. The current sh-t situation we're in, looks different to a nurse with no family to consider, than it does to a nurse who's got kids or parents or extended family living in the home. We all have to make the decisions that are right for us. I have gotten some VERY real, blunt, no-sugar-added, valuable insight on the situation since writing my article, and you gotta do what's best for you. At the end of the day, it's a job. Yes, we're nurses and we care dearly for our patients and our team, and will go to great lengths for them. But We have to remember to have that same love for ourselves. Whatever decision you've come to and wherever you are, you have my support from over here.

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Specializes in ICU.
33 minutes ago, MsJenn_The_RN said:

I feel you on this. So much. And I empathize with you 100%. I do not think there is a "right" or "wrong" answer. As nurses, prioritization is at the center of our decision-making. We also got into this profession because we care...a lot..about everyone. As nurses, it seems really "wrong" to just say "to hell with it, I'm out, this is too much." But we aren't just nurses. We are humans too. As humans, each of us is going to have a different list of priorities, in a different order. The current sh-t situation we're in, looks different to a nurse with no family to consider, than it does to a nurse who's got kids or parents or extended family living in the home. We all have to make the decisions that are right for us. I have gotten some VERY real, blunt, no-sugar-added, valuable insight on the situation since writing my article, and you gotta do what's best for you. At the end of the day, it's a job. Yes, we're nurses and we care dearly for our patients and our team, and will go to great lengths for them. But We have to remember to have that same love for ourselves. Whatever decision you've come to and wherever you are, you have my support from over here.

Beautifully said..

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Amen to all of you..it takes as much courage to step away as it does to step up. Especially for nurses who have an innate caring nurturing character. I am right there with you..have years and years of nursing experience in every disease known to man. Disasters, floods, hurricanes...but have little ones and hubby main support. Just am not going to sacrifice my family on the altar of some administrative staff who care nothing for our safety. I have read chilling accounts from healthcare providers asking to be anonymous, about being forced to work in abhorrent unsafe conditions ..I have a few tales of my own about the C suite handing down directives putting nurses and patients in danger all for image and bottom line.

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Family first.

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Specializes in New PACU RN.

If I had the resources, I would not feel an iota of guilt in quitting. Not an atom's weight.

They are already training your replacement.

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Specializes in ICU NURSE.
On 4/3/2020 at 10:28 PM, BlessYourHeartt said:

I am so thankful, proud of and worried for healthcare professionals who are continuing this fight. My personal dilemma is this: my husband and I have several young children. There is nowhere to send them away to (grandparents are not local, older and in poor health, absolutely cannot be saddled with the care of our rowdy bunch that we counted on raising ourselves all along; our siblings either work remotely and/or have their own families to care for).

My husband continues to work remotely and is making the bigger share of our household income, so he cannot be expected to just quit his job and watch the kids 24/7 while I distance myself from the family in case of exposure. I am needed to care for the kids while he works. I had been scheduling my shifts around his schedule.

If I bring home COVID-19, we would be sick and having to care for sick or at least infectious children who cannot be emergently passed off to family because they would infect them too!

If one of both of us required hospitalization, the kids would have to go wherever the authorities can place them because of the contagion factor. It would be traumatic for the kids.

My husband is at a high risk for complications due to preexisting comorbidities. He is our family's heart and soul.

We all know that the odds of exposure to COVID as hospital staff under current conditions are excellent, even if not directly caring for confirmed COVID patients.

I don't see a way out other than to throw in the towel occupationally and stay home as a family through this except for rare necessary outings.

Years in the ICU and with current employer, but like many, I counted on working hard and going home to care for family on days off, not on soldiering on through a pandemic and risking my husband and children's health.

I feel some guilt walking out on my coworkers and fear of repercussions getting hired down the line after leaving this job, but I feel that these kids' mother and father cannot be replaced, unlike as a staff RN.

Godspeed and good health to all of you!

You are doing the right thing. I too am in a similar boat. Called out last shift and sending in resignation soon. Can’t even give two weeks notice in these circumstances. ICU Nurse with great coworkers and manager. Feel like I am betraying them, but my son who has a rare lung disease needs care. Can’t afford to expose him. We don’t have family to turn to. Me and my hubby are the only ones for our kids. Feel guilt leaving the job. It’s tough. But child not replaceable. Hoping I don’t face future Repurcurtions when I seek a job. Always have been 100% dedicated at work.

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Specializes in Neurology.

God speed and all the best. My 80-year-old mother lives and depends on my care. My husband and I both have co-morbidities. Family first and foremost

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I made the same choice. Family first.

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