Updated: Apr 23, 2020 Published Apr 21, 2020
amoLucia
7,736 Posts
Am sadly just putting this out there -
There have been more deaths due to covid 19 here in New Jersey than the combined death toll of the sunken Titanic and all the NJ victims of Sept 11th.
Thought about this as the anniversary of the sinking of Titanic just passed.
Keep safe.
Kitiger, RN
1,834 Posts
Perhaps because I'm not frontline, I'm having a hard time getting my arms around all this. The numbers surrounding COVID 19 are so high. It's like a bad dream that I half-remember and don't understand. Thank you for helping me grasp it.
I'm trying to do my part by continuing my same job - with some extra hours - (private duty), and looking out for my neighbors.
sirI, MSN, APRN, NP
17 Articles; 45,819 Posts
2 minutes ago, Kitiger said: It's like a bad dream that I half-remember and don't understand. Thank you for helping me grasp it.
It's like a bad dream that I half-remember and don't understand. Thank you for helping me grasp it.
That was a perfect explanation, @Kitiger.
Nurse SMS, MSN, RN
6,843 Posts
It absolutely feels surreal. It keeps hitting me and I do almost literally feel like I must be dreaming. The whole world is shut down. Literally. We were supposed to be leaving for Portugal tomorrow, a long-planned vacation that isn't going to happen now. The sorrow and disbelief feel really heavy at times.
1 minute ago, Nurse SMS said:It absolutely feels surreal. It keeps hitting me and I do almost literally feel like I must be dreaming. The whole world is shut down. Literally. We were supposed to be leaving for Portugal tomorrow, a long-planned vacation that isn't going to happen now. The sorrow and disbelief feel really heavy at times.
100% agree w/you, @Nurse SMS.
As this lingers, self-centered frustration sets in. I feel very selfish when I think of future plans ruined. Irritated with friends and family for no valid reason that I can reasonably accept. Stupid crying.
I am so sorry for feeling this way.
Just now, sirI said:100% agree w/you, @Nurse SMS.As this lingers, self-centered frustration sets in. I feel very selfish when I think of future plans ruined. Irritated with friends and family for no valid reason that I can reasonably accept. Stupid crying.I am so sorry for feeling this way.
I get it. I have never loved my husband more nor wished he would hush so badly. He is retired and spends a great chunk of each day just watching the news, which he then wants to discuss when I get home from the hospital. I can't seem to get away from it. And I too feel very sorry for myself that we aren't going on vacation tomorrow and then immediately really immature and guilty for being sad when people are literally dying.
caliotter3
38,333 Posts
I am closer to the end of my life than the beginning of it. Very much in mind, especially since the decline in health is significant. All I can think of are the descriptions of how these people die. Where I had been involving myself in trying to stave off the inevitable, now several times a day I find myself looking for those telltale symptoms. This is no way to exist.
3 minutes ago, caliotter3 said:I am closer to the end of my life than the beginning of it. Very much in mind, especially since the decline in health is significant. All I can think of are the descriptions of how these people die. Where I had been involving myself in trying to stave off the inevitable, now several times a day I find myself looking for those telltale symptoms. This is no way to exist.
Frighteningly well said, @caliotter3
1 minute ago, Nurse SMS said: And I too feel very sorry for myself that we aren't going on vacation tomorrow and then immediately really immature and guilty for being sad when people are literally dying.
And I too feel very sorry for myself that we aren't going on vacation tomorrow and then immediately really immature and guilty for being sad when people are literally dying.
Even though I know that grief is not a competition, I sometimes feel that I don't have the right to feel the pain when others are hurt more than me.
Feeling guilty for feeling grief is so confusing!
1 minute ago, Kitiger said:Even though I know that grief is not a competition, I sometimes feel that I don't have the right to feel the pain when others are hurt more than me. Feeling guilty for feeling grief is so confusing!
That is exactly my interpretation I think, @Kitiger
I really never thought about feeling my own personal grief.
QuoteFeeling guilty for feeling grief is so confusing!
I never considered I was confusing the two.
Hoosier_RN, MSN
3,965 Posts
I just find myself so short tempered with my hubby. He's essential in another field, but until yesterday with the possible threat of job loss if he didn't comply, started wearing a mask. He just acts like this is all a big "nothing burger". When he comments on conspiracy theories, it makes my head spin. And I feel guilty because beyond going to work daily, there's not much I can do to help
kbrn2002, ADN, RN
3,930 Posts
This situation is surreal. I too am having a hard time wrapping my head around the numbers. Mostly because, knock on wood here, I am fortunate enough to be in an area that hasn't been hard hit.
The news reports are all over the place. Either all doom and gloom, warning us it's not over and may even get worse before it gets better or saying we are overreacting and need to get back out there and "open up the economy." Which is right? Who should I believe? The coverage is so confusing!
I hate hearing and reading about the stimulus package! What I can gather from that news coverage is a lot of people that truly need that money just to get groceries on the table aren't getting it yet but surprise, surprise the big companies are taking advantage and getting every dime out of this they can.
I am however enjoying the feel good reports about so many people and small businesses stepping up and helping where they can. I just read a story about a man paying $1000 to a local bakery for a single doughnut. People like him are the true hero's.
Maybe I'm weird here but I hate being thanked for doing my job every time I admit to a stranger that I am a nurse. Especially when it seems this job right now is feast or famine. Some nurses are truly risking their health every time they go to work and are working under horrible conditions while other nurses are being laid off because there's just no work in their specialty. Makes no sense to me at all and believe me, I don't feel like a hero. What I do feel is fortunate to have a job I can go to every day. Unlike so many people out there I am getting a paycheck.
I didn't have any big vacation plans but I know a few people that did. Sorry about your cancelled cruise or that trip you were planning!
I don't go out much as it is but I do miss having the ability to go out if I wanted. No bars, no restaurants, no movies, no getting together with friends or family. This was the first Easter in my 25 years of marriage that we didn't have dinner at my in-laws. Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter are about the only times the entire family makes it a point to get together and I really missed that.
On the silly side, I miss my stylist! Oh my hair! When they are allowed to return to work those poor stylists will be very, very busy! And the price of gas. So cheap now, makes me wish I had a holding tank buried in my back yard.