I had very lax parents myself. I can remember being spanked once in my entire life. I got grounded a few times once I reached high school and for good reasons, but other than that I didn't really receive discipline much from my parents. My husbands family on the other hand is in favor of spanking; at one point I though I was too but am now against it...but still have to stifle laughs when I hear a parent say, "use your words" to a kid throwing a tantrum; maybe because I am yet to see this work.
I am in Community Nursing this semester. The placement I am at has a brochure on why you should not spank. The brochure was very informative on why you should not spank but it lacked any information on alternative ways to correct behavior/discipline. I chose not to had this out because I felt the information was not complete. Not being a parent yet myself, I did not feel equip to give alternatives if asked once the brochure was read and the client found that no alternatives were included.
Actually we DO say, with mirth in our hearts, "Because I said so".
And there are times when a child simply HAS to do what I say, simply because I said so. Those times are rare though.
Leslie - I've told this story on spanking threads here on "an" before but it is an example of a time I've regretted NOT saying something.
I was walking in a mall in Reno and I didn't see a toddler walking beside me and I accidently walked into her and knocked her to the ground. The mother pulled her up and SLAPPED HER IN THE FACE for getting in my way. Instead of telling this mom she was an idiot and how dare she slap that baby girl in the face, I tried to reason with her that it was MY fault the little girl got knocked to the ground. I wasn't watching where I was going.
The horrible thing is . .. .if this mom was willing to do this in PUBLIC, what did she do in private?
I don't have that rule. And yes, we play baseball in the house. :chuckle
(We use a wiffle ball).
Kids are active - yes, running outside is preferable . .. .but I think we should pick our battles and KIDS RUN. It would be next to impossible to keep them from ever running in the house. Let that battle go.
a very occasional swat isn't going to ruin your kid.
it's those that habitually smack their kids that i struggle with.
and i think it important to make that distinction.
leslie
I think we've all snapped and done things we are ashamed of. I'm not a perfect parent, far from it. I have a problem with a potty mouth and can't stop cursing (not directed at the kids, though.)I don't have the cookies baking in the oven when the kids get home from school and all that stuff (have to work, after all) but one thing I want my kids to have ingrained in them is that I love them more than anything. I want them to know Mommy is always there for them and how important they are to her, even if our life is a lot like this:
Everyone is different with rules and different with discipline.
In response to the parents who feel kids can run in the house.
Great for you. I do not allow it. We wrestle and do other things. We do not run for reasons of our own. They can run outside and we have a big backyard for that.
SOmetimes my kids get away with it and sometimes when asked to stop and they do not then punishment begins. It all depends on how it goes down.
In response to the parents who feel kids can run in the house.
Great for you. I do not allow it. We wrestle and do other things. We do not run for reasons of our own. They can run outside and we have a big backyard for that.
Everyone is different with rules and different with discipline.
SOmetimes my kids get away with it and sometimes when asked to stop and they do not then punishment begins. It all depends on how it goes down.
Hi - I agree that everyone is different.
And I'm not saying my kids can run in the house all the time. Obviously there is a time and place for things.
Funny thing though - my husband has always gotten up from a chair or couch in the living room and runs to where ever he is headed. I have asked him why and he doesn't know. He just gets up and runs.
My 7 year old will run in the front door to tell me something that happened outside and to come and look.
It just seems like keeping an active child from moving fast inside a house is darn near impossible.
Running in the house is kind of like the jumping on the furniture issue--some families allow it and some don't. Our furniture is crap, but we still don't allow it. (We don't allow running in the house either. We have a chimney in the middle of the living room that may cause some injuries should a child run into it.) I tend to favor a different approach to letting my kids be kids--my kids have been known to wear decorated paper bags on their heads with eyeholes cut out when walking around town with me. My middle daughter went to the homecoming game dressed as Fiona from Shrek for no apparent reason other than she is a kid. She loves to dress up, and I let her go around town like that. She's 4. Who is she harming? :) My oldest daughter at 7 has a say in her hairstyle, and she just happens to like it buzzed shorter than many boys do. Oh well--she's sharp as a tack and tops in her class. She behaves quite well, too! I pick my battles for sure. People may think I'm off my rocker for doing those things, but I haven't ever been one to worry too much about that. We all have different standards and rules in our households. I think it's all good.
And I'm not saying my kids can run in the house all the time. Obviously there is a time and place for things.
Funny thing though - my husband has always gotten up from a chair or couch in the living room and runs to where ever he is headed. I have asked him why and he doesn't know. He just gets up and runs.
My 7 year old will run in the front door to tell me something that happened outside and to come and look.
It just seems like keeping an active child from moving fast inside a house is darn near impossible.
steph
Now that I think about it, all my girls would run, skip, or tiptoe where they were going once they learned to walk but usually would not walk. I don't think I could have stopped them at 1 or 2 years of age! I also run to lots of little places too for no apparent reason like your hubby.
Running in the house is kind of like the jumping on the furniture issue--some families allow it and some don't. Our furniture is crap, but we still don't allow it. (We don't allow running in the house either. We have a chimney in the middle of the living room that may cause some injuries should a child run into it.) I tend to favor a different approach to letting my kids be kids--my kids have been known to wear decorated paper bags on their heads with eyeholes cut out when walking around town with me. My middle daughter went to the homecoming game dressed as Fiona from Shrek for no apparent reason other than she is a kid. She loves to dress up, and I let her go around town like that. She's 4. Who is she harming? :) My oldest daughter at 7 has a say in her hairstyle, and she just happens to like it buzzed shorter than many boys do. Oh well--she's sharp as a tack and tops in her class. She behaves quite well, too! I pick my battles for sure. People may think I'm off my rocker for doing those things, but I haven't ever been one to worry too much about that. We all have different standards and rules in our households. I think it's all good.
Now, I agree with you here. I let my kids display their own individuality. Good grief you should see some of the hair colors my own daughter has had. I've had to pick my battles too. Or as others say, which hill do you want to die on?
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
Actually we DO say, with mirth in our hearts, "Because I said so".
And there are times when a child simply HAS to do what I say, simply because I said so. Those times are rare though.
Leslie - I've told this story on spanking threads here on "an" before but it is an example of a time I've regretted NOT saying something.
I was walking in a mall in Reno and I didn't see a toddler walking beside me and I accidently walked into her and knocked her to the ground. The mother pulled her up and SLAPPED HER IN THE FACE for getting in my way. Instead of telling this mom she was an idiot and how dare she slap that baby girl in the face, I tried to reason with her that it was MY fault the little girl got knocked to the ground. I wasn't watching where I was going.
The horrible thing is . .. .if this mom was willing to do this in PUBLIC, what did she do in private?
steph