I am writing this totally heart broken and at my wits end.
I started my career as a nurse receiving compliments on what a good job I did. I felt that I was one of those people that had to do my job well and couldn't settle for any less. I had to chart well and provide the care that patients and families were more than satisfied with. They had to know they could count on me and that I was going to be there for them.
After 15 years and multiple hospital settings I have come to realize that it doesn't matter. Over the years, I have witnessed that many of hte units are run by managers and assistant managers that couldn't handle floor nursing and yet their demands on their employees are unrealistic. The people that they choose to be in charge and manage the floor are picked based on friendship and loyalty rather than hard work.
I have worked side by side with techs who run the unit and force nurses to do their work while they find time to sit on the internet or phone and then get out on time while we are stuck over finishing our work. I have walked into many patients rooms to pass pills only to find they had no water, haven't been turned or need urine emptied from urinals or pans that are overflowing. I can't tell you how many pans I have see stained with urine or feces because they don't get rinsed. How often patients are tied up in lines and cords.
I find myself picking up the slack and doing all of the jobs that countless others do not. Why can't people untangle lines? Why aren't pans rinsed from urine or feces? Why won't the techs do tech jobs and make sure people have water or that other needs are met?
In the end, what you get is punished. Punished because you couldn't get your work done. Punished because you couldn't meet everyone's needs and a patient or family felt you took too long to get to them and there was nothing you could say or do to make it right when you knew in your heart that it wasn't your fault. Instead, the blame is on the fact that there is too much for you to do or there is a major imbalance of productivity amongst workers.
The reason for the nursing shortage? Overworked and not appreciated and abused. You can't stick up for yourself, you can't tell them why you couldn't get things done - you can't say nothing. 15 years and nothing to show for it. I have tried nearly every hospital around and I find the negative complainers and the staff that knows how to socialize are the people that are respected and appreciated. It's not about the people that are out there busting their tails. Everyone knows there is a shortage and why but no one does anything and the biggest culprits are the administrators of the hospitals. The majority of those couldn't handle floor nursing or hardly ever experienced it at all.
I leave behind a lot of families and patients that thought I was a great nurse. But when you can't please one in a hundred or more you are a bad nurse. People don't understand the level of demands on a nurse. It is a downright abusive field with little to no appreciation surrounded by many people who are disappointed with their jobs and their choice in the career.
My final blow: After 3 years of sweating to please my last employer and taking the abuse of never hearing anything good - only bad. I went back to agency and went back to a hospital that I worked at 3 years ago. I knew that this hospital had a bad reputation for poor bedside care. Half the staff of any unit could easily be float and agency. The regular staff on the floor was made up of mostly young girls in tight spandex and inviting clothes working on socializing with doctors and hanging out at the desk all day long. Call lights were on non-stop but these girls would not answer them. The techs were busting their tails here. The agency nurses were working but the in house floats were sitting and socializing too. I ended up with a patient with a very bad attitude that was a complainer and law-suit happy. She was furious that for 4 days not one person followed through with obtaining her records from another hospital. It fell on me. I also had a patient admitted with respiratory distress which she shared a room with and could see I was busy. With her personality, she was angry at the moaning of the elderly lady who couldn't breath and was determined to get me to stop and cater to her to get on those records. When I got my respiratory patient stablized, I did just that. Turns out that the other hospital never received any fax requesting the information. This lady hated every person she had contact with at that hospital and wanted to call an agency to get them shut down. I'm sure you know the type by now. So....guess what. I was told today that I was not welcome back because of her complaint. I would literally pull a chair up and sit next to this lady and let her vent. I gave her my heart and I got booted. The nurse that she had the next day was a guy that sat around socializing and didn't care one bit about her. He was regular staff and he was NOT going to go out of his way. They all get to keep their jobs but the nurse that took the time out to take care of her is out the door.
I need a job or I wouldn't take the abuse. But, I know for a fact that this hospital is never going to get it. They were like that 3 years ago and now they have more floats and more agency staffing them. This is a big and reputable hospital.
The hospital I worked at for 3 years was dumping more and more tasks on the nurses and they were all unhappy and complaining. We lost good hard working techs and they were replaced with people who didn't want to work or nursing students who were tired when they came to work and were kicking their feet up taking it easy. Management loved those people.
I suffer from spinal degeneration and pain and I never get to sit down. My job is harder because they are not pulling their weight.
There is nothing left. I still owe for my loan and I am scared to death to take another nursing job. I know it is not going to be any different. I hurt. I lost my insurance and after all that I worked for I have nothing to show for it but bills and a destroyed ego and heart. I feel as though I am the misfit. I am the one who isn't right. I am wrong. I can't even bring myself to waste time on another application since I don't want anything to do with this career any more. I am going to lose my home, my vehicle and everything else.
I have noticed that the field is being taken over by young graduates who are more worried about looking sexy and socializing than working. Patient satisfaction has gone down the tubes and the senior skilled nurses are getting nowhere in this field. There is nothing anyone can do. We all know it is happening but we can't do anything about it.
I agree with the previous poster who said to sign up with a temp agency for non-nursing jobs for awhile. I did that (while keeping my nursing job) several years ago just for a change of pace. I cannot tell you how absolutely refreshing it was to get breaks and lunches and to feel just "ok" about going to the job. I put forth 50% of the effort I do in nursing, and many of the temp employers wanted to hire me full time because I had such a great work ethic and was so creative about solving problems. One of the managers at a temp job told me, "Yes, the administrators are after me to hire you full-time, but I told them, 'She's a nurse; that's why she's so good at what she does. You would have to pay plenty to get brains like that.'" Wow, what an ego boost! Carried me through until I got my feet back on the ground.
However, the current solution of churning out new nurses every few months to fill the nursing vacancies is more of a "band-aid" approach that does absolutely nothing to address the core of the problem. Instead of producing a plethora of new nurses, efforts should be made to retain the ones who are already working.
Pumping new nurses into the job market every few months is a simple solution. We all know that simple solutions cannot be applied to solve complex problems.
I'm so thankful for this forum, and for people like you who speak the truth.
There was a suggestion upthread to "try Peds". I am a veteran of 10 years of floor work in a pediatric hospital. I didn't find the stress to be any different and in fact, it was often more stressful. In addition to any dx you can possibly name, you also have families and siblings there 24/7, and then apply all the often heard hotel analogies. You also get to see children who have been burned, thrown and mangled by their parents. My patient ratio was 10:1 at night, with admits all night. With sick calls, I'd have as many as 20:1, hoping they were all still alive in the morning. I love kids, who doesn't... but it was actually easier to work on an adult med/surg unit. Just my opinion and all that.
I'm a second career RN and I am the only one still in nursing after 21 years. I think I've been the only practicing nurse from my class for the last 12 years. They are selling real estate and yachts. And I'm in community health, not hospital work.
I would absolutely advise anyone in nursing to have a plan B as an alternative to hospital/patient care work. An exit strategy. Maybe you won't need it but chances are you will.
Wow. I am headed into nursing school at 37 years of age after losing a child to cancer. I can assure you no part of me is concerned with looking "sexy" in my career.
It sounds like I would be better off shooting myself than becoming a nurse. Maybe in 15 years in the field I will see things your way but I really hope not. The nurses that cared for my son were amazing and I can't wait to affect people's lives the way they affected mine. Even though he died, I am still so grateful to the men and women that helped us through that horrible ordeal.
I refuse to believe its all bad and refuse to believe I can't make a difference. And I don't think that all new nurses want to flirt and look sexy and not work.
First, I'm so sorry that your son died. I cannot imagine how you must feel.
Second, congratulations in becoming a nurse and welcome to Allnurses. You'll find a lot of great nurses here who are happy to share their knowledge, information, and experience to help you on your journey.
Third, and I say this as gently and as respectfully as possible -- the original post was not the bitter complaint that some have made it out to be. Nurses are not like other people in other careers -- a nurse is not just what you do, but it becomes who you are. I think this is because in no other job on this planet is a person so engaged with the work at hand, intellectually, physically, and emotionally.
What you saw in BrokenRNheart's original post was pain, despair, anger, frustration. She is grieving the loss of the dream that she had that once was just like yours. There will be, in time, a better reality to take its place (you'll just have to trust me on that, OP :redbeathe) but for right now......she is grieving.
Let her grieve. Let her rest. Just nod your head and listen, because she needs to pour her heart out to someone and we're the ones she chose. I, for one, am honored by that.
Because she knows, deep down inside, that some of us truly understand what she is going through today. Later, we will be able to tell her that it can be better and she will believe us, but not today.
Today, just let her grieve. Just be kind, just listen.
Do not allow guilt to keep you in nursing. It isn't worth it. You are much more important than they are. You can re-do the paperwork on school loans when you have a drop in income, so don't feel that you are locked into nursing forever. I agree with your postings 100% but I don't have any good answer for you. Do what you can to take care of yourself and regain your life and your spirit. Being a nurse is never worth this kind of stress and heartache.
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
Angio, that is a very kind and compassionate reply to both the OP and to me, and I thank you for that. I certainly understand about grief and the loss of a dream.
The OP has every right to vent and I am very sorry for her unhappiness. I fully admit I am not in the field as a nurse yet and thus my viewpoint is nowhere near the same as hers ,though I have worked medical for 18 years and have a good idea through both that and my son's illness what medical professions are like in a generalized way. The whole medical system is ill right now but as you said, it will eventually get better. I hope it does very soon and I would personally be very willing to work and lobby toward that end.
It bears pointing out that painting everyone with a negative brush in a public forum may be all it takes to scare away the very people who could come on board and have the energy to push forward for change, not just for new nurses but beneath the leadership of those already existing and for the benefit of all. Rather than an Us vs. Them mentality, why not take an approach that puts us all together under the assumption of having the same general goals? One can feel downright unwanted simply for being new and enthusiastic. Negativity and positivity are both contagious.
You are so right on. The problem is that I am in debt because of nursing and no I can't take a break.
I'm afraid I am going to run out of places to work.
As far as legal nurse consulting. I paid $2800 for the Kaplan certificate - worked for $25 an hour on some class action lawsuits - put on 35 pounds in my first month doing it - am now up 50 lbs total - and the truth is that there really isn't legal nurse consulting jobs out there. That is one of those scarce positions that all nurses want to get away from floor nursing so there isn't much to that. It's one of those areas where you invest a lot of money and are lucky to get work or paid. The other problem is that I do not really want a desk job. I can't afford to put on any more weight. I have 50 lbs to lose already.
It comes down to the truth being that I don't want anything to do with nursing. I wish I could stiff them for the loan because it was a terrible field to go into. It is human abuse and bad for your health. What we need is a good lawyer to go for a class action lawsuit for conflict of interest in these hospitals. We have no rights. And what do you find in this field? Woman who complain but do nothing to change it. Everyone feels the same way but I have watched them dump more and more on us over the last 15 years and it has gotten worse and worse and more and more unsafe as well as destructive to our health and physical well-being. You would think we had the power with the shortage, but we don't because our population allows this. I wish I never went into this field. I wouldn't be in debt and beat up and so knocked down. I was warned by an older senior nurse not to do it. I try to warn people and they listen as good as I did.
A have a friend who told me of someone she knows who has no people skills and no tolerance for disorganization who is going to nursing school. This oughta be interesting.
As the government is pushing for more enrollment into the school's they are doing nothing for retention or safety in the hospitals. I know there are things we can do, the problem is that no one wants to get together to make it happen. This is as far as it goes except for the nurses who have left the field. That was their statement. They insisted that they would not tolerate it and left the field.
We all know where the problem is. It is management, administration and the facilities. We all watch as they build new buildings and invest in everything but nursing. We get lied to and back stabbed.
I think I am going to check into Ford's - anything. Anything but this. I want to get as far away from this as I can and the sooner the better.
I have to tell you that when I was fired in retaliation for whistleblowing after working as a LTC nurse for almost 29 years, I was RELIEVED, yes, relieved. I knew I would probably be blackballed if I sued, which I did. I also had a major flare up of RA after this happened, and that clinched it , I could NEVER go back to being a nurse. Was I depressed, upset, NO ,again GREAT RELIEF. I am still involved in litigation with my former employer, but this is a cakewalk compared to all those years in the dungeons.
Wow. I am headed into nursing school at 37 years of age after losing a child to cancer. I can assure you no part of me is concerned with looking "sexy" in my career.
It sounds like I would be better off shooting myself than becoming a nurse. Maybe in 15 years in the field I will see things your way but I really hope not. The nurses that cared for my son were amazing and I can't wait to affect people's lives the way they affected mine. Even though he died, I am still so grateful to the men and women that helped us through that horrible ordeal.
I refuse to believe its all bad and refuse to believe I can't make a difference. And I don't think that all new nurses want to flirt and look sexy and not work.
First off: If you go back and read you will see that I did not claim that it is EVERY one.
Second: You are entering the field the same way the rest of us did and when you have your 15 years in, talk to me. Late entry into this field is harder than starting out in your 20's but you will have to see for yourself.
Third: I did hospice and my patients and families loved me. I was sent to the Bahama's as a gift for such great care and I still get cards from mothers who lost their children to cancer. If you don't experience what we have then God Bless you - you will be a rare minority in this field. Nursing is about keeping your chin to your chest and taking what they dish out. Save face for yourself, get your feet wet and then check back.
Last: I'm not in the mood. My opinion stands and you will see many new nurses running around in spandex and showing pierced bellies and large back tattoos and tight seams up their butts chasing doctors around. Read it the way you need to.
With your optimism, I plan on seeing you at the forefront of change in this field. It's not as if none of us tried.
I can promise you this: When you make that change, I will be your number one follower!
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I hope you find healing. As it happens, three of my best friends are nurses and are cheering me all the way. This field does not frighten me. Life is what you make of it. What I have lost is far worse than anything you can throw at me. If you want the field to change, start with yourself.
"It bears pointing out that painting everyone with a negative brush in a public forum may be all it takes to scare away the very people who could come on board and have the energy to push forward for change, not just for new nurses but beneath the leadership of those already existing and for the benefit of all."
It is so typical to see someone new in the field come back with this response. As I said already, there is not one statement that claims it is everyone or paints everyone the same. If you read through these forums you will find there is a major difference in thoughts between experienced nurses and nurses who haven't even graduated yet. I have seen enough of these forums and people like you right where you are respond this way. Rather than be painted here or have your bubbles burst, my best advice to you would be to stick with new nurses forums who share the same optimism and allow us experienced burned out nurses to share support for eachother. You might be seeking support from us one day. It might comfort you to know that you are not alone one day.
But, as for now, until you have walked in our shoes, please don't deny me my 15 years of experience and what I am feeling right now. I am not going to convince you to run and not get involved in nursing. I came to this forum for support from people who could relate to what I was feeling. From what I see here, there are more replies that can understand than there are replies that can't and the people that can't haven't even gotten their feet wet.
I don't know if you can tell or not, but a good assessment skill right now would be to tell that I am probably not in the mood for an argument.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
(((((((BrokenRNHeart))))))),
I have been in the mental place that you are in now and I know it is beyond awful.
It feels like the entire world is just skewed and distorted- the good and hard-working are punished, the bad and lazy are rewarded. Like your life is a whirling, out of control episode of the Twilight Zone.
I know that when I was in that place, I was so down-trodden and suspicious of everything and everyone- I felt so vulnerable- that even if a great job came a long, I don't think I would have been able to recognize it, or even handle it.
I wanted to hope, but I was too afraid, too worn-out, and too unable to deal with another bitter disappointment to hope.
I know that I was starting to question myself- thinking the world cannot be this screwed up -it must be me.
I really do not think now is the time for you to find another job in nursing.
If you are able to take time off and not work, I think that would be very beneficial to you. If not, you could take a temp, non-nursing job. A temp agency is a good place to find a non-nursing job.
If you applied for a permanent non-nursing job, it would be difficult to get hired- employers would think you are over-qualified and "She'll just leave in a couple of months for a nursing job."
A temp agency may not think this way, because the assignments are temporary. I have had temp jobs doing menial, light factory work. You don't have to think, you barely have to speak to people. You don't have to be "on" and in the super-alert state that nursing requires.
Also, in a job like this, you do not have to deal with the public. You can take one brief, temporary assignment after another- this way, you won't get involved in any job bs.
I am not going to say "try home health, try a doc's office, blah blah blah."
I may be way off base here, but in my mind, I imagine you just cringing at these suggestions, thinking "No, no, it will just be more of the same, it will be a little different, but basically the same- it's not the type of nursing, it's nursing itself"
From reading your posts, I have the impression that to force yourself to look for another nursing job would be a herculean effort at this point. You would be forcing yourself to try and get jobs that you don't even want.
Nursing is hurting you right now- it's toxic. I know that there have been times that this has been true for me.
I have no more suggestions. I can only offer you understanding, validation, and acknowledgment.
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Riseupandnurse
658 Posts
I agree with the previous poster who said to sign up with a temp agency for non-nursing jobs for awhile. I did that (while keeping my nursing job) several years ago just for a change of pace. I cannot tell you how absolutely refreshing it was to get breaks and lunches and to feel just "ok" about going to the job. I put forth 50% of the effort I do in nursing, and many of the temp employers wanted to hire me full time because I had such a great work ethic and was so creative about solving problems. One of the managers at a temp job told me, "Yes, the administrators are after me to hire you full-time, but I told them, 'She's a nurse; that's why she's so good at what she does. You would have to pay plenty to get brains like that.'" Wow, what an ego boost! Carried me through until I got my feet back on the ground.