I am writing this totally heart broken and at my wits end.
I started my career as a nurse receiving compliments on what a good job I did. I felt that I was one of those people that had to do my job well and couldn't settle for any less. I had to chart well and provide the care that patients and families were more than satisfied with. They had to know they could count on me and that I was going to be there for them.
After 15 years and multiple hospital settings I have come to realize that it doesn't matter. Over the years, I have witnessed that many of hte units are run by managers and assistant managers that couldn't handle floor nursing and yet their demands on their employees are unrealistic. The people that they choose to be in charge and manage the floor are picked based on friendship and loyalty rather than hard work.
I have worked side by side with techs who run the unit and force nurses to do their work while they find time to sit on the internet or phone and then get out on time while we are stuck over finishing our work. I have walked into many patients rooms to pass pills only to find they had no water, haven't been turned or need urine emptied from urinals or pans that are overflowing. I can't tell you how many pans I have see stained with urine or feces because they don't get rinsed. How often patients are tied up in lines and cords.
I find myself picking up the slack and doing all of the jobs that countless others do not. Why can't people untangle lines? Why aren't pans rinsed from urine or feces? Why won't the techs do tech jobs and make sure people have water or that other needs are met?
In the end, what you get is punished. Punished because you couldn't get your work done. Punished because you couldn't meet everyone's needs and a patient or family felt you took too long to get to them and there was nothing you could say or do to make it right when you knew in your heart that it wasn't your fault. Instead, the blame is on the fact that there is too much for you to do or there is a major imbalance of productivity amongst workers.
The reason for the nursing shortage? Overworked and not appreciated and abused. You can't stick up for yourself, you can't tell them why you couldn't get things done - you can't say nothing. 15 years and nothing to show for it. I have tried nearly every hospital around and I find the negative complainers and the staff that knows how to socialize are the people that are respected and appreciated. It's not about the people that are out there busting their tails. Everyone knows there is a shortage and why but no one does anything and the biggest culprits are the administrators of the hospitals. The majority of those couldn't handle floor nursing or hardly ever experienced it at all.
I leave behind a lot of families and patients that thought I was a great nurse. But when you can't please one in a hundred or more you are a bad nurse. People don't understand the level of demands on a nurse. It is a downright abusive field with little to no appreciation surrounded by many people who are disappointed with their jobs and their choice in the career.
My final blow: After 3 years of sweating to please my last employer and taking the abuse of never hearing anything good - only bad. I went back to agency and went back to a hospital that I worked at 3 years ago. I knew that this hospital had a bad reputation for poor bedside care. Half the staff of any unit could easily be float and agency. The regular staff on the floor was made up of mostly young girls in tight spandex and inviting clothes working on socializing with doctors and hanging out at the desk all day long. Call lights were on non-stop but these girls would not answer them. The techs were busting their tails here. The agency nurses were working but the in house floats were sitting and socializing too. I ended up with a patient with a very bad attitude that was a complainer and law-suit happy. She was furious that for 4 days not one person followed through with obtaining her records from another hospital. It fell on me. I also had a patient admitted with respiratory distress which she shared a room with and could see I was busy. With her personality, she was angry at the moaning of the elderly lady who couldn't breath and was determined to get me to stop and cater to her to get on those records. When I got my respiratory patient stablized, I did just that. Turns out that the other hospital never received any fax requesting the information. This lady hated every person she had contact with at that hospital and wanted to call an agency to get them shut down. I'm sure you know the type by now. So....guess what. I was told today that I was not welcome back because of her complaint. I would literally pull a chair up and sit next to this lady and let her vent. I gave her my heart and I got booted. The nurse that she had the next day was a guy that sat around socializing and didn't care one bit about her. He was regular staff and he was NOT going to go out of his way. They all get to keep their jobs but the nurse that took the time out to take care of her is out the door.
I need a job or I wouldn't take the abuse. But, I know for a fact that this hospital is never going to get it. They were like that 3 years ago and now they have more floats and more agency staffing them. This is a big and reputable hospital.
The hospital I worked at for 3 years was dumping more and more tasks on the nurses and they were all unhappy and complaining. We lost good hard working techs and they were replaced with people who didn't want to work or nursing students who were tired when they came to work and were kicking their feet up taking it easy. Management loved those people.
I suffer from spinal degeneration and pain and I never get to sit down. My job is harder because they are not pulling their weight.
There is nothing left. I still owe for my loan and I am scared to death to take another nursing job. I know it is not going to be any different. I hurt. I lost my insurance and after all that I worked for I have nothing to show for it but bills and a destroyed ego and heart. I feel as though I am the misfit. I am the one who isn't right. I am wrong. I can't even bring myself to waste time on another application since I don't want anything to do with this career any more. I am going to lose my home, my vehicle and everything else.
I have noticed that the field is being taken over by young graduates who are more worried about looking sexy and socializing than working. Patient satisfaction has gone down the tubes and the senior skilled nurses are getting nowhere in this field. There is nothing anyone can do. We all know it is happening but we can't do anything about it.
There was a suggestion upthread to "try Peds". I am a veteran of 10 years of floor work in a pediatric hospital. I didn't find the stress to be any different and in fact, it was often more stressful. In addition to any dx you can possibly name, you also have families and siblings there 24/7, and then apply all the often heard hotel analogies. You also get to see children who have been burned, thrown and mangled by their parents. My patient ratio was 10:1 at night, with admits all night. With sick calls, I'd have as many as 20:1, hoping they were all still alive in the morning. I love kids, who doesn't... but it was actually easier to work on an adult med/surg unit. Just my opinion and all that.
I'm a second career RN and I am the only one still in nursing after 21 years. I think I've been the only practicing nurse from my class for the last 12 years. They are selling real estate and yachts. And I'm in community health, not hospital work.
I would absolutely advise anyone in nursing to have a plan B as an alternative to hospital/patient care work. An exit strategy. Maybe you won't need it but chances are you will.
Thanks for the input. I already know from being a mom and my peds rotation that it is not for me. I was very protective of my children and grand-children and I know what that atmosphere was like. I remember the staff complaining about how this mother, sister and brother were guarding their 4 year old and I had her as my patient. It took a lot to get that little girl and her family to trust me but it was understanding what was going on in that room that made it happen. Peds is like hospice to me. You have to gain the trust of the people to do right by them and that is a lot of energy. Hospice was probably my most rewarding because you could actually do right by people. Once again, my manager made it a living hell. She couldn't even remember her own lies. After reading all of your support, I am thinking that hospice is where I need to be and I am seriously thinking that a temp agency would be wise. When I took a break from one of the hospitals that I worked at for 10 years, I "moonlighted" at Home Depot. My ex and I had a roofing business and I didn't need the money. I just needed to occupy my time so I didn't spend. I had a blast. It didn't pay squat though. I worked special services. I am seriously thinking of trying Home Depot and becoming part of the orange cult again.
I know I can't even kid myself about another nursing job. I might even push to try to get into Ford's. I can't believe they hired recently but I sure wish I would have done factory work now. My hard work and sincere caring for the patients is not valuable to anyone. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and it has consistently gotten worse. I have watched the changes for nurses make things worse for them year after year and change after change. I have heard the same thing we are talking about here over and over. Fifteen years ago I hoped and prayed that since all the nurses felt this way it would get changed and get better but it has gotten worse. I have waited and waited and I see why so many nurses have given up and why statistics show 500,000 inactive licensed nurses.
All I can say is it is a good thing you are getting out. I hope you find healing. As it happens, three of my best friends are nurses and are cheering me all the way. You do not frighten me, nor does this field. Life is what you make of it and I have survived much worse than anything you have yet complained about and certainly worse than this flaming put down. Yep, I am optimistic. You can hate me for it if you like. What I have lost is far worse than anything you can throw at me. If you want the field to change, stop chasing off the new blood.
Life can be what you make of it, but you haven't worked a nurse yet,you DO NOT understand the depths to which these corporations or those that do their bidding can sink to. It is the nurses with the highest hopes that seem to be squashed the quickest. Until you walk a mile in my shoes........
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Moderator's Note:
After much discussion and clean-up, the Administrative team has decided to return this thread to public view. It clearly serves a need, not only for the OP who has shared her frustration and disappointment with us, but for every one of us who has suffered the agonies of burnout and had nowhere else to turn for help.
I would like to remind everyone, however, that the Terms of Service regarding personal attacks and rude or insulting posts are very clear, and that further such posts will cause the thread to be closed permanently and infraction points to be issued to the offending member(s). Please don't make this necessary.
I am so sorry that you all are having these issues with nursing. I got really frustrated and burned out myself within 3 years of being a nurse. I decided to travel. That way, I feel in charge of myself and my career and not responsible to the hospital. I changed who was responsible for my career and it made all the difference in the world to me.
Specializes in med-surg, teaching, cardiac, priv. duty.
Well, I just discovered this thread. BrokenRNHeart, I feel your pain and totally relate. After being a hospital nurse for about 15 years I totally burned out. That was 3 years ago now. I was so burned out I was toasty!! Frustrated, irritated, discouraged, angry... I'd had it. I ran from the bedside screaming!
In the 15 years I was a hospital RN, I noticed that the general acuity of the patients has increased over time. Patients that end up hospitalized today are much sicker and complicated to care for than they were years ago. Long gone are the days of having several patients in your group that are essentially "walkie/talkies" that need minimal care. (Wow - I can remember years ago having 8 patients but 4 of them were easy "walkie/talkies"!) Yet, nurse to patient ratios have essentially stayed the same! We have the same amount of patients, yet they are generally sicker and more time consuming to care for. Over my years in the hospital setting, I also noticed that patients and families became increasingly demanding. I blame this on how so many hospitals today promote themselves more like HOTELS than hospitals. I'm so sorry... but with desperately sick patients I barely have time to give proper nursing care, let alone provide maid service.
I hated leaving work always feeling that my patients did not get proper care from me, YET I had run my butt off, didn't take a break, and punched out 2 hours late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Three years later, I still start to get upset when I think about it.
All the new grads being pumped out didn't always help either. Don't get me wrong here, because I was always kind and supportive to new grads. I believe new grads should be nurtured, not "eaten"! But towards the end I would often find myself working a unit where I was the ONLY experienced nurse and all the other nurses were recent grads out of school less than a year. For various reasons, it is not a good thing to have such an out-of-proportion ratio of experienced vs. newer nurses! For one, It puts a lot of pressure on the experienced nurse. I was constantly having these new nurses come to me for help/questions - I wanted to help as much as I could but I could barely keep my head afloat with my own assignment.
Anyways, I have been doing "private duty nursing" since then. I took a significant pay cut. Although there are some stressors to private duty (mainly related to psycho-social family dynamics/coping) , it is nothing like the hospital. Generally speaking, it is a low stress, casual job atmosphere. No chaos. No call bells ringing and ringing. No IV pumps beeping. I have ONE patient, and I can actually give the patient the care they deserve. It is a great feeling.
Essentially, I am "under-employed". With 18 years as a RN, with a broad base of experience, and a bachelor's degree (BSN) - I could be working a much more advanced nursing job. Although I have gained a handful of new skills doing private duty, I am essentially LOSING many of my skills not being in an acute setting. But I really don't care. I still start to get stressed when I think back to the hospital. I do NOT want to ever again work in any type of acute setting. I am CONTENT with private duty! I feel like I have found a nitch. And at least I am still in nursing, instead of leaving the field altogether. But I totally UNDERSTAND why there are 500,000 RN's with licenses not working in the field!
Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.
I have only been an RN since June 2004 but can relate to many of the burnout issues that more experienced nurses complain of. I cope by working 3-4 days/week instead of straight full time.
Have you considered career counseling? Most colleges and universities offer career counseling to students and I am pretty sure that non-students can sign up for advice as well. Your local job service can also give you options that may draw on your extensive nursing background. Nursing gives you such a wide area of experience and expertise that you are likely qualified for more jobs than you realize!
I'll be praying for you that a tremendously different and exciting (non-nursing) opportunity will present itself!
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I am writing this totally heart broken and at my wits end.
Definitely a long break and perhaps some professional counseling to get rid of the garbage Yes, this board is a fantastic place to vent and get the support you need. I was nodding my head thru much of what you wrote and sadly have had the same experiences BUT
I am confused as to the agency work. Don't you get to say, "I will not return to such and such a facility" and instead get to choose the ones that are less abusive? That's one thing that I really liked about agency the way I experienced it - and also didn't have to get involved in the politics ...
I hope and pray you have some nice quality quiet time with yourself to recuperate - and find yourself doing what you love in a way that does not destroy you. God bless.
What you saw in BrokenRNheart's original post was pain, despair, anger, frustration. She is grieving the loss of the dream that she had that once was just like yours. There will be, in time, a better reality to take its place (you'll just have to trust me on that, OP :redbeathe) but for right now......she is grieving.
Let her grieve. Let her rest. Just nod your head and listen, because she needs to pour her heart out to someone and we're the ones she chose. I, for one, am honored by that
That was very deep, that's straight from the heart, I felt that sincerely.
I hope you find healing. As it happens, three of my best friends are nurses and are cheering me all the way. This field does not frighten me. Life is what you make of it. What I have lost is far worse than anything you can throw at me. If you want the field to change, start with yourself.
You are so right, what you have experienced is far worse than anything most people (except for those who have lost a child as well, as my parents did*) will ever endure.
OP does have some good points about some problems in nursing (I've been one for 10 years now, so I should know), but she is also suffering from burnout. Therefore, try not to take her comments personally.
I wish you well and think you will become a good nurse.
DeLana
*My brother died suddenly at age 41 of a ruptured aortic aneurysm.
Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
You are so right, what you have experienced is far worse than anything most people (except for those who have lost a child as well, as my parents did*) will ever endure. ...My brother died suddenly at age 41 of a ruptured aortic aneurysm,
IMHO it's post traumatic stess - from NURSING - that some of us end up w/. I am still recuperating from it myself.
Specializes in Jack of all trades, and still learning.
I completely understand. Sometimes you just have to rest, regroup and reevaluate where you're going and what you want.
That is what I had to do when I felt 'defeated' as you call it.
You have every reason to feel as you do. You need a lot of 'me' time, to build up your self confidence again.
I can't give you any answers. I had thought that maybe a field related to nursing would have helped, but after what I read, its obvious that you don't want to go back. You know what?
I don't blame you one iota!
What matters at the moment is you. Learn to take control again, don't let those ppl win. Some ppl find counselling helps, but each person is individual and you may find something that is more appropriate to you.
Yes, this board is a fantastic place to vent and get the support you need. I was nodding my head thru much of what you wrote and sadly have had the same experiences BUT
BrokenRNheart
367 Posts
Thanks for the input. I already know from being a mom and my peds rotation that it is not for me. I was very protective of my children and grand-children and I know what that atmosphere was like. I remember the staff complaining about how this mother, sister and brother were guarding their 4 year old and I had her as my patient. It took a lot to get that little girl and her family to trust me but it was understanding what was going on in that room that made it happen. Peds is like hospice to me. You have to gain the trust of the people to do right by them and that is a lot of energy. Hospice was probably my most rewarding because you could actually do right by people. Once again, my manager made it a living hell. She couldn't even remember her own lies. After reading all of your support, I am thinking that hospice is where I need to be and I am seriously thinking that a temp agency would be wise. When I took a break from one of the hospitals that I worked at for 10 years, I "moonlighted" at Home Depot. My ex and I had a roofing business and I didn't need the money. I just needed to occupy my time so I didn't spend. I had a blast. It didn't pay squat though. I worked special services. I am seriously thinking of trying Home Depot and becoming part of the orange cult again.
I know I can't even kid myself about another nursing job. I might even push to try to get into Ford's. I can't believe they hired recently but I sure wish I would have done factory work now. My hard work and sincere caring for the patients is not valuable to anyone. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and it has consistently gotten worse. I have watched the changes for nurses make things worse for them year after year and change after change. I have heard the same thing we are talking about here over and over. Fifteen years ago I hoped and prayed that since all the nurses felt this way it would get changed and get better but it has gotten worse. I have waited and waited and I see why so many nurses have given up and why statistics show 500,000 inactive licensed nurses.