Afraid of loosing my job

[Katniss88]

This past two weeks have been the worst. First my supervisor wanted to talk to me about techs complaining that I don't want to take patients to the bathroom, which is not true. While I'm in the room and they need to go the bathroom I will help them or other times when a tech isn't available. They are always complaining about the nurses. Then this week I missed an order and it was a really big deal because it was concerning a pending surgery, it was my mistake and I owned up to it and told her it was my fault.

One of patients complained that I wasn't friendly and didn't smile. She was upset with me because I didn't get to her in time to give her zofran because she was vomiting. Before she called I was about to administer pain medication to another patient who just came up from surgery. The patient who wanted pain medicine told the nurse I got report from that she wanted pain medicine but this nurse told her that she had to go give report. So by the time I get to my other patient who was vomiting she was very upset and crying. My supervisor has said to me before that other patients have complained that I wasn't friendly or didn't talk much, and said she couldn't keep standing up for me. I have never been mean or unfriendly to my patients, I guess they expect a nurse to baby them and be all warm and fuzzy towards them. I have gotten better and talking more to patients, but I have been working there for a year and I don't know why all of a sudden it's a problem. It's like I can't get anything right. She didn't write me up, but did verbal counseling. I'm just afraid I'm on the verge of being let go because of what patients say about me or whatever else might happen.

[Aurora77]

Faking being outgoing is a skill and can be learned just like anything in life. It just depends on if you want to obtain that skill or not. It's also a skill that can benefit you in all areas of your life, not just your job.

I'm a hard core introvert and naturally shy so I understand how hard it is to gain this skill. It takes practice. Walking into your patient's room with a smile is a good first step. Yes, it feels fake at first, but eventually it won't. Use this as a good chance to learn to make small talk (this won't be the only place this skill is valuable). Asking how your patient's day is going is an excellent chance to assess if they are oriented and get their perspective on their care. As much as I hate the focus on good scores, any job that deals with the public does have an element of customer service to it, so gaining these skills is important to being a good nurse. Think of them as another skill to become proficient in, like IV starts or an understanding of pharmacology.

[Emergent, RN]

I was always a good actress with the patients, with excellent bedside manner. Relating to the patients was easy because they were shallow, short term relationships.

It's with coworkers that I sometimes struggled. I refused to 'kiss up' to managers and co-workers. I always had some allies, usually others with aloof disdain for the preppy brown nosers. In reality, I had too much pride to give people the strokes they need. Instead I would give people I disliked the cold shoulder.

Commuter hits the nail squarely on the head. Now I laugh at the jokes of the popular. I stroke egos. I compliment my manager. It's becoming like second nature. And, it's paying off. People are more tolerant of me.

Social acceptance is a big part of having a happy work life.

[OnlinePersona, LPN]

I wish i had this "play the game" mentality that everyone else shares (including my spouse).. i just cant . I have a "girl bye, aint nobody got time for that &*!!" persona about myself. I find it allowed me to survive and prosper. Have you maybe just smile more?

idk what to say to help

[Katniss88]

I didn't know that part of a hospital's reimbursement is based on a survey of the patient's experience. Nursing schools should start teaching their students how make their patients feel like they are the only one on the entire floor and have one nurse all to their self, because I sure didn't learn how to kiss butt in nursing school. In nursing school you are taught how things should be done correctly in a "perfect" world, but in reality when you get in the "real world" of nursing it's different. This situation is one of those things that I have now come to realize that this is how nursing is in the real world. Don't get me wrong, I love caring for my patients in their time of need. I just didn't realize that being a nurse meant you had to go way beyond giving competent and compassionate care.

[LPN709]

Oh my goodness this post=me. The Commuter has wonderful advice and sounds exactly like me. Not that I can't joke around sometimes but my natural personality is very serious and detail and problem oriented. I want the facts so I can fix the problem. I don't like chit chatting with people. Just like you, OP, it was a very big shock to go into the nursing world and realize just how many people disliked and were wary of that part of my personality. However, like the previous posters said, you just have to fake it. And it does become easier to deal with and your responses come out much smoother. I've learned that when in doubt, just ask more questions. No one ever minds when you ask more questions about them and their problems. Gosh I sound like such a mean person lol which is not true. I'm a very good listener and I love taking care of people. I just like to do it promptly, efficiently, and quietly. For some reason people have a problem with the quiet part! Good luck!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I didn't know that part of a hospital's reimbursement is based on a survey of the patient's experience.

For all hospitals that accept Medicare funding, reimbursement is partially based on the subjective results of patient satisfaction surveys.

In essence, nurses who can act cheery and bubbly tend to receive higher patient satisfaction scores than their more subdued counterparts. It doesn't matter if the cheery nurse is less competent. It doesn't matter if the subdued nurse has a high level of technical competence and skill. Patients and families form perceptions based on subjective criteria such as the personalities of the people who provided their care.

[firstinfamily, RN]

I am an introvert but feel I have been successful in nursing. I did find that when I took the time to make rounds on every pt in the early am before my shift actually started it helped them to be able to relate to me much better. I would greet them with "good morning, asked how their night was, if there was anything they wanted me to bring up to the MD etc." This brief interaction reassurred them that I was looking out for them, it introduced me to them and let them know I was accessible. You might try this to help get your patients to be more positive towards you. A verbal warning is not as serious as a written one. But it is still a warning. You made a medication mistake, so have all of us at one time. I also do not believe in putting a fake smile on my face. My work is serious stuff, I do joke around with my patients, see if this works for you. They can always use a little bit of humor and it does help take the edge off of their illness. Good Luck!!!

[ktwlpn, LPN]

QUOTE>>quote

Very true.

[MeiLana]

I started life as a hard-core introvert. I went into engineering as my first career. During a financially difficult time, I got talked into (yes, talked into) signing on as a Mary Kay cosmetics "person". I don't even remember what it's called now. But my director and the immediate supervisor were _hard-freaking-core_ MK people. They had the cars, the rewards, they had the teams under them. They both worked straight out of Hollywood and they saw a little country, back-woods engineer as a "project". They took my insecure, insanely introverted self and turned me into a full fledged Meet-n-greet person. They had little games... "complement 10 people in the space of an hour", "strike up a conversation with someone in the grocery line", "wear some little bling that you can talk about when people ask you about it" OR "notice someone's bling and talk to them about it." It was sales-work. I was in the business of opening the door into people's wallets and it's the same set of skills required to deal with folks in the hospital -- also a customer based industry at this point.

I can talk to anyone now. Almost flat out _anyone_ -- except, y'know, that completely rude, hates-nursing-students nurse on my floor during last clinical who simply ignored that I existed and was speaking to her... I mean, there's not much you can do about THOSE folks -- they're way out in the .1% on the bell curve, but everyone else -- it's game-on. And literally, it IS a game. When you quit making your interactions be about bolstering yourself or getting your own validation and you go out there with the intent (as is part of your job, now) of bolstering others, you will quickly find that you don't need AS MUCH validation from others but also that what you do need -- you easily receive.

I've learned, though I'm not perfect at it, that how people respond to you is almost entirely within your control. It's a game.

At the end of the day, I crawl back in my cave and recharge. Because, ultimately, I'm still an introvert in an extrovert's career field.

[kejRN88]

OP, I think at times I have the same issue that you do. I have been pulled aside by a fellow staff nurse once and by my manager a few times. I have had complaints from patients and/of family members that I am not "warm and fuzzy" enough. I have always been an introverted person. I have to try really hard at times to be more extroverted at work, even if it means plastering on a fake smile. I have realized over time that sometimes my problem is that I get to focused on what I am doing and the steps I need to take next when caring for a patient that I forget to smile. I think I suffer from "resting b***h face" at times.

[caliotter3]

Commuter may have hit the nail on the head. That is not the first time I have heard the phrase "play the game", when referring to someone who is lackluster at work getting treated better than another who does the job well, but doesn't kiss up to people.

[firstinfamily, RN]

If people cannot accept who you are, kill them with kindness. I am not a superficial person and others have problems with this. I can usually tell who the ones are who need all the "attention" and I will attempt to draw some attention to them, which is really what they want. I hate to play games, life is too short for games. That does not mean you cannot have some fun with your co-workers. This is holiday season, try to have a social gathering with your co-workers, they are most likely different outside of work and it may actually draw all of you a little closer. A tech or secretary can make you or break you, learn how to get along with them.