Afraid of loosing my job

[Katniss88]

This past two weeks have been the worst. First my supervisor wanted to talk to me about techs complaining that I don't want to take patients to the bathroom, which is not true. While I'm in the room and they need to go the bathroom I will help them or other times when a tech isn't available. They are always complaining about the nurses. Then this week I missed an order and it was a really big deal because it was concerning a pending surgery, it was my mistake and I owned up to it and told her it was my fault.

One of patients complained that I wasn't friendly and didn't smile. She was upset with me because I didn't get to her in time to give her zofran because she was vomiting. Before she called I was about to administer pain medication to another patient who just came up from surgery. The patient who wanted pain medicine told the nurse I got report from that she wanted pain medicine but this nurse told her that she had to go give report. So by the time I get to my other patient who was vomiting she was very upset and crying. My supervisor has said to me before that other patients have complained that I wasn't friendly or didn't talk much, and said she couldn't keep standing up for me. I have never been mean or unfriendly to my patients, I guess they expect a nurse to baby them and be all warm and fuzzy towards them. I have gotten better and talking more to patients, but I have been working there for a year and I don't know why all of a sudden it's a problem. It's like I can't get anything right. She didn't write me up, but did verbal counseling. I'm just afraid I'm on the verge of being let go because of what patients say about me or whatever else might happen.

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

I think the OPs have given you good advice, especially commuter.

As for me, I am an extrovert. I learned how to be personable in my prior customer svc/sales careers.

But I also can be a b@tch whose mood shows on my face. Furthermore, I have been told by many that I come across as a know it all/condescending. To be honest, that's because I am smarter than many. I know it sounds conceited, but (gulp) it's true.

But, when I lost my first nursing job, I became committed to being "fake". At my first job, the supervisors knew I knew more than them and I was no dummy. Because of this, they messed with me. One sup told me I need to tell medical records when there was an error in the chart r/t pt contact info. But when I asked medical records to update the chart, they told me that's not their job, right in front of my supervisor who told me the week prior that it was. My supervisor didn't have my back. When I said, isn't this what you told md she's supposed to do? My sup yelled at me on front of tons of people.

Later on, in her private office, I asked/told her she's not supposed to yell at me. I told her I won't tolerate that av she needs to tAlk to me in front of the big boss if she has a problem with me.

Long story short, next thing I know, I'm fired.

Because of this, now I kiss orifice at work 99.99% of the time. That situation helped me to learn how important the art of orifice kissing is.

From info.

[RestlessHeart]

Oh my goodness this post=me. The Commuter has wonderful advice and sounds exactly like me. Not that I can't joke around sometimes but my natural personality is very serious and detail and problem oriented. I want the facts so I can fix the problem. I don't like chit chatting with people. Just like you, OP, it was a very big shock to go into the nursing world and realize just how many people disliked and were wary of that part of my personality. However, like the previous posters said, you just have to fake it. And it does become easier to deal with and your responses come out much smoother. I've learned that when in doubt, just ask more questions. No one ever minds when you ask more questions about them and their problems. Gosh I sound like such a mean person lol which is not true. I'm a very good listener and I love taking care of people. I just like to do it promptly, efficiently, and quietly. For some reason people have a problem with the quiet part! Good luck!

People seem to assume that if you're quiet and/or reserved that you're mean or ornery or dont like them or the situation. Me, I just want to be "left alone" to do my job the best I can in ANY situation. Im there for the patients/benes.......not to be a social butterfly. The other staff dont understand why I dont go out drinking or socializing with them.

Good Luck to everybody

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

When I started working in hotels many years ago, I learned the hard way about "playing the game." Work is political, whether we want to admit it or not. I tend to be very direct, and it wasn't until I forced myself to put my comments through a filter that I learned how to stay under the radar.

It's a delicate balance of learning to be genuine, leaving some things unsaid, and demonstrating an interest in the people around you. While some people will say that's kissing up.....well, unfortunately, a little is necessary for survival in the workplace.

As soon as I realized how to play the game, my work life became much easier to navigate. Not everyone needs to know how you feel or what you're thinking. Get in and get out.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I have been told by many that I come across as a know it all/condescending. To be honest, that's because I am smarter than many. I know it sounds conceited, but (gulp) it's true.

I know you are a smart person who has been around the block a few times. Hence, you certainly know you must hide these beliefs that you are smarter than most people. You need to display some humility to survive in bedside nursing. Without it, expect the bulls-eye to be painted on your back.

At my first job, the supervisors knew I knew more than them and I was no dummy. Because of this, they messed with me.

Many supervisors and nurse managers feel personally threatened or outright disgusted by the relatively inexperienced bedside nurse who feels (s)he knows more than them. To stay employed while working under these types of supervisors, you need to stroke their egos and downplay your confidence in your abilities.

Have you ever noticed that a clueless nurse with a sweet temperament who asks the same basic questions over and over remains a semi-permanent workplace fixture? There's a reason for this: she makes the managerial team feel needed. Because the clueless nurse constantly needs coaching and cannot retain the answers to basic questions, her presence causes an ineffective nurse manager to look good. Also, she'll never be a threat to anyone's job due to her lack of gumption.

Insecure people want to feel needed. You are not going to win if you cross paths with an insecure nurse manager or preceptor who has some input on whether you remain employed with the institution, especially if you insult their intelligence. Insulting their intelligence causes them to feel invalidated and not needed by you.

Therefore, play the game. Pretend you worship their knowledge. Pretend you want to be as smart as them someday. Compliment them. Ask them how they came to be so darned efficient and effective. Gather some organization tips from them. Pretend to show interest in them as people. :)

[RNperdiem, RN]

For many of us, nursing is really a performing art. Can we nominate others for best actor/actress awards?

I don't think of bringing out those soft skills as "faking it". It is one of those skill sets a nurse needs to stay employed.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

That's very true-it IS performance art. We are always "on stage" . In the room with our patients and their family members,on our break -(when we get one),walking through the hall,speaking to our co-workers.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Why should anyone have to pretend? Develop a TRUE and SINCERE interest in others, appreciate their diverse talents and be real. That is what it takes. And while many of us MAY be "smarter" or of higher intelligence than others, it's conceited not to think others have talents and knowledge you do not possess and can benefit from. Come across SINCERE and you will go a long way. Do it not, and you are right; people will not like you much.

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

Quoting Commuter: "You need to display some humility to survive."

Yes this!! I've learned to appear humble. Shoot, I am humbled.

"Many supervisors and nurse managers feel personally threatened... by the relatively inexperienced bedside nurse who feels (s)he knows more than them."

Yes, they do feel threatened if they aren't truly confident in themselves.

"Have you ever noticed that a clueless nurse with a sweet temperament who asks the same basic questions over and over remains...?"

Yes, I have. I strive to model my behavior/affect to be like that nurse whom management likes/keeps around. So far, it's working. (-:

"Pretend you worship their knowledge. Pretend you want to be as smart as them someday. Compliment them. Ask them how they came to be so darned efficient and effective. Gather some organization tips from them. Pretend to show interest in them as people".

I've learned to do these things. I've even coined a few standard phrases to use to to do this.

[Katniss88]

Why should anyone have to pretend?

People have all types of personalities whether they are an introvert or extrovert, and that includes nurses. Just because I'm not the nurse that says "you poor baby" or "I'm so sorry you are feeling bad", does not mean I'm not a compassionate nurse. I truly care about my patients, but I'm not the type of person who shows my emotions or feelings. So from now on, I will have to come out of my comfort zone and talk more and smile more so my patients know that I really am friendly and truly care about their needs. When I go into a patients room I always introduce myself and I'm nice, I'm always focused on the task that I'm doing at the time. Before this past week, I was looking at it the wrong way, in addition to providing competent nursing care I have to also provide great "customer service". I have only been a nurse for a year, so this was kind of a shock to me, because I didn't realize that hospitals are now rated like hotels and we as nurses have to provide good customer service like we work at a store or restaurant, (although sometimes we feel like a waitress). I thought I was doing okay, I don't understand why all of a sudden now I'm getting complaints. As for my co-workers, I engage in conversations with them and we get along. However, I don't get involved in all the gossip because I don't want all the drama that comes with gossiping about other co-workers.

[Katniss88]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I needed to vent my frustrations and now I need to move on because this has been an issue for a while in nursing and my opinions are not going to change anything. It's good to know that I'm not the only nurse that has faced this problem.

[icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN]

I too never mastered the art of whatever it is...A dear friend once told me that when I interview I can not leave the impression that I am smarter than they are. Ugh. Playing dumb is what they want. I am not sure if I can or want to play these games...

[Dranger]

Go ICU, patients don't talk and we use foleys and rectal tubes so all problems solved....