Advice? Significant Other: "You make too much for what you do."

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moved post to proper thread.

Specializes in Neuroscience.

He sounds butthurt that you make more money. boo-hoo.:rolleyes:

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Tell him money isn't everything, it doesn't measure what you are worth. I would tell him what you do on a given day. They TRUST you not to make an error that can kill someone and they pay you accordingly.

As far as the Bachelors degree, tell him that you're gonna be higher on the list when that charge nurse position opens up.

My husband is jazzed that I'm going to be making more money than him, I really have a hard time understanding what his problem is -_-

Good luck!

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Specializes in All sorts!.
this is the sole issue.

tell him to grow up.

i agree! he is probably most worried about how this might threaten his 'manhood'. i doubt that he doesn't respect your profession. i think most people in our society understand how difficult and challenging nursing can be. he's jealous and wishes probably that he could contribute more than he does.

if i were you i'd try and make him feel like he's contributing to your livelyhood and life. i had an issue with my dh a while ago because he just started his degree at 22 and i'll be graduating when i'm 22. i said i'd be willing to help him through college. he was almost insulted. anyways, good luck!!:)

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.

I've merged your two threads, Coffeebeanie.

Your significant other obviously has no clue how much responsibility nurses are given. Patient outcomes are almost always more affected by the skill and attention of the nurses than they are by any other factor. If a physician misses something, odds are a nurse will catch it and either correct it or report to to someone who can. If a nurse misses something, there often isn't anyone else to catch it and the patient suffers. It's a truism that nurses keep physicians from killing people. But as other posters have said, it's not likely that your guy is going to get over his... umm... discomfort over your income being higher than his. And that's his issue. He may make your life miserable over it. My own spouse still struggles over it, but he understands why I make the money I do. He just forgets that MY job has to be the one carrying the most weight in our family and that his job has to come second. There's a lot more to our situation that I won't go into, but you should be ready for this to be an ongoing issue for you.

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Why do you need to explain anything to him? It puts you on the defensive and gives him the upper hand in what is a false argument that is less about what nurses are worth and more about his fragile ego. This is not a man I would choose to have babies with.

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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.

ask him how does he really know what you do and are responsible for at work as a nurse? sounds like he is just comparing degrees.....

tell him to try doing a shift for you, and see if he even thinks that you get paid ENOUGH. I would be really ******. even if it was the case, he should be glad for you....

i get paid $40/ hour. and believe me, most days its not enough for the crap i am responsible for and have to put up with. we are responsible for things we have no control of. we have responsibility but little authority.

people lives are literally in our hands every day, and he has the nerve to say you get paid too much?

hes jealous and ignorant,and arrogant.

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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.
He said he was jealous.

That is an emotional response more than a lack of knowledge.

Trying to educate him will probably not work.

The problem is his to deal with.

You keep on earning the good money, keep your self-respect intact and correct him if he states anything incorrect about nursing.

i disagree, i think it is exactly a lack of knowledge. there is no possible way a non nurse grasp the depth of what nurses do every day.none.

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Specializes in ED.

what u can do. Make him volunteer for a day and just shadow an RN and let him find out how hard we work. Then hell realize

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Specializes in ICU, Home Health, Camp, Travel, L&D.

So, you wanted constructive advice. Here's mine:

Remember that battery will lead to jail time, fines, community service, and action against your license. (Of course, then you wouldn't be making more $$, so, perhaps you could kiss & make up. Once you were finished in the big house.)

No, seriously, we are arguably the best educated manual laborers on the planet (think about it before you shout me down), and that is often what non-nurses think about when they see our paystub...the manual labor part, not the saved someone's life today part. Not the kept the surgeon from getting sued and losing his house and his @>$ part. Not the health education part. Not anything to do with what we do, except the line in the job description that says "may lift 100 lbs repeatedly".

Tell him to strap it on and come shadow for a few days, and if enough of these snide comments crop up, do the hard work to make it happen. Because I don't get how one can live with real disrespect of who they are and what they do.

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

My husband has seen me limp in the door, with 300 new gray hairs, and several new wrinkles after a particularly bad night. He would never say something like that to me.

Your SO should not have said those words to you. They were meant to wound/insult. I hope that kind of language is not typical of your relationship.

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Specializes in Cardiac step-down, PICC/Midline insertion.

Wow. Basically he doesn't know anything about what nurses are and what they do. And that's basically the consensus that the general public has. Nurses have always been protrayed as smiling girls in cute scrubs who give people pills, do some paperwork, and take vital signs. Most of the public hasn't had the eye opening experience of seeing the "warriors" that nurses really are.....running code blues, all the critical thinking that's going on when looking through charts, the decisions about when it's time to the call the doctor and then what's pertinent to actually tell the doctor, and when more seasoned...to actually be aggressive and ask the doc for what meds YOU want the patient to have. Not to mention all the hard physical work that the job demands....getting people up, moving people, carrying heavy equipment, etc.

If anything...I have always thought nurses were underpaid when you consider the mental & physical work involved, not to mention the stress, and possible liability if something goes wrong.

My advice is to just ask him what his perspective is on what nurses do. A typical day in the life of a nurse. Then nicely correct him when you tells you it involves wearing cute scrubs, giving, pills, & doing paperwork. :)

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My boyfriend and I were long distance for the first year of nursing school and he moved in with me during the summer. Before I went back to school in the fall, we got into an arguement about how I wouldn't have time for him in the fall and spring and he said "You've been working as a medic in the Army for 4 years and you've been teching for a year. What are you even learning in nursing school?" I was so offended. Nursing is so much more than what a tech does! Techs need basic knowledge and nurses have to understand how and why things are happening! I never thought of anything constructive... But I understand!

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