Advice? Significant Other: "You make too much for what you do."

[Coffeebeanie]

moved post to proper thread.

[Coffeebeanie]

During a discussion about our careers, my significant other said the following: "You make too much for what you do. I admit I am jealous. Like, people in big companies, who make sales products that make their companies millions, I understand why they make what they do. I understand why Pharmacists and Doctors make what they do too. They might get sued, so pay has to compensate. And people with AA degrees make just as much as you so your BS really doesn't mean anything. "

Some back story: My partner and I have been together 4 years. I recently transitioned from a CNA to a New Grad on the night shift, off orientation for the last 4 months in Med/Surg. I passed my boards in Dec 09. I have my BSN and he has a BS in Physics. During nursing school I only commuted to see him on weekends so he did not see all my studying. His sister is a pharmacist and my sister is a doctor. We live in Northern California, with him working as a new grad for a very prominent tech company. Right now, I do make more then him. But once he is off New grad pay I am sure that will go up by leaps and bounds. I work in a public hospital with plenty of AA and BS nurses and I love my floor.

Initially I took his comment as downright disrespectful! We both have bachelors backgrounds and deep knowledge in science, just in different ways. Sure he is a smarty for going for physics, but nursing was hard! Where is the credit!? I'm smart too! For the sake of being constructive, I am going to ignore the "jealous" comment and instead try to focus on how to educate him. Now I tried to explain to him the amount of technical and science background needed to do this job, beyond just the time management and ADL assistance. I do not just give pills and do paperwork! And errors/negligence will get me sued too! But he still doesn't seem to get it. Short of making him read my textbooks or beating him up, do you guys have any constructive words? Or some /links/websites/articles/etc. I can refer to? Also please do not take this as a debate between AA and BS degrees, I just want to prove him that our career is worthy of respect from an academic point of view! :grad: Thanks all!

[RNperdiem, RN]

He said he was jealous.

That is an emotional response more than a lack of knowledge.

Trying to educate him will probably not work.

The problem is his to deal with.

You keep on earning the good money, keep your self-respect intact and correct him if he states anything incorrect about nursing.

[VioletKaliLPN, LPN]

you start with a little education regarding what nurses actually do, what the practice entails.

you catch errors, monitor for reactions, symptoms, and other signs which can be early warnings of serious complications. you literally hold people's well being in your hands. -that is a good start. :)

aside from that, jealousy cannot always be reasoned with. sometimes you have to chalk it up to ignorance, jealousy, and being a butt.

call me harsh, but my s/o would get a swift kick back to momma's house(figuratively speaking) if he said something like that to me.

[taalyn_1, CNA]

LOL, you handled it better than I would have already cause his behind would have ended up being placed in the hospital so he could have gotten 1st hand experience on Nursing!! LOL

I don't know what to tell you really, educate him is my best guess but somehow I doubt he is ever gonna "get it". He could read all your textbooks, job shadow you, read all the journals there are and I doubt he will ever respect the profession. People seem to think all nursing is is cleaning butts and handing out pills. Good Luck to you though.

[Up2nogood RN, RN]

My dh began to respect our profession when I started telling him the gritty details and what I have to do. Now he doesn't want to hear any more because i grossed him out.

Sometimes lay people forget we are responsible for our pts lives.

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

My husband is looking forward to the extra income, between the two of us, we're going to be in a good financial position when I graduate.. Personally though, while I do think nurses make a decent living (especially considering one can become an excellent nurse on an associate degree level), I don't believe they are as well paid as they should be.

I believe your significant other is definitely a case of sour grapes. Some men can't stand not being the primary bread winner in a relationship. It's a threat to their manhood or something. (Not all men, but many are wired this way). My husband, on the other hand, wouldn't feel threatened at all if I ended up making more than him... though with his education much further than mine, and his extensive experience in his field, it's unlikely I'll make more than him, unless of course he experiences layoffs in the future, which is always a possibility.

[chuckster, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

Not to worry - with the growing oversupply of nurses and the increasing emphasis on cost-cutting by hospitals, I'm certain this petty complaint will disappear quickly in the coming months!

[Lovely_RN, MSN]

Tell him to stop counting your money or go to nursing school.

[2ndyearstudent, CNA]

Right now, I do make more then him.

This is the sole issue.

Tell him to grow up.

[sunnycalifRN]

You sure you want to stay with this guy? He sounds like an insecure, MCP!!

[skipaway]

I know you want constructive advise, but I have to say...what an unsupporting jerk. Ask him how is it his business what you make? Ask him, has he had a life in his hands today? Then I'd tell him to take a hike.