Wondering if I am cut out for bedside nursing

[Baynurse]

I am 9 months into my first job on a tele/medsurg floor and I cannot help feeling like I am inadequate at my job. Time management is probably my biggest struggle, it feels like I am running around my entire 12 hour shift, yet often end up staying after change of shift for half an hour to an hour finishing my charting. I see other nurses having time to socialize or check their phone and I rarely find time to do so. I also have a lot of anxiety that I am missing things. When I'm driving home from work I'm haunted by details I might have missed or concerned that my patients might have inadequate care due to my lack of efficiency or knowledge. I find myself questioning my assessment skills a lot. Lung sounds and heart sounds especially. I also feel like when I do admits, I am not thorough enough yet if I try to be I end up spending too much time with one patient. I'm diagnosed with adhd and major depressive disorder, both for which I am taking medications, and it seems like the stress of my job has started to cause flare ups of my mental health. I am lucky to share that my team at work is amazing and very supportive of me. I try to give myself grace and remind myself I am still learning, although I fall into being extremely self critical most of the time. Lastly, my physical health seems to be struggling as well. Both of my eyes, especially my left though, get very red after a shift at work. This started a couple months back and only seems to be getting worse. I've gotten them checked out and was told it was related to either allergies or severely dry eyes. I put in eye drops several times a day and yet the inner corners of my eyes always seems to be irritated and stay so even on days I'm not working. I also have chronic low back issues since I was a kid and, although I try to be mindful of my movement, after a shift I often end up having a very sore back the day after. It has taken me a long time to finish my schooling and start my career, yet I'm not even a year in and am already wondering if I can sustain this long term. I know this is a lot, but if anyone has any advice or thoughts its would be greatly appreciated.

[toomuchbaloney]

Not everyone is cut out for work in acute care hospital settings and that's OK. Start looking for other opportunities and begin to budget your life for a smaller paycheck in advance of a transition. 

Good luck.  

[tarnished91, BSN]

 I felt like that my 1st..2nd, and 3rd year. On my 3rd year is when I felt really comfortable. Like I wasn't second guessing myself or thinking about work at home. I hate to say this but our job is to give patient centered care(keep the patient alive) and I realized my first couple of years I was getting too involved with my patients. I would stand there and listen to their worries, complaints from previous shifts/doctors, and doing everything I can to give the BEST possible care. You'll soon realize no matter how much care you give; if its the best or the minimum - the patients absolutely do NOT care. They will not remember you, they only remember your flaws. Management don't care either. They'll just say keep up the good work or something like "hey can you work 2 extra shifts this week or the next?" All this stress actually made me sick too. I came down with depression, panic attacks, and insomnia. My eczema flared up and I got chronic hives and had to take allergy shots.

You have to get in and get out quick as possible(this takes alot of practice). I'm on my 8th year, and I'm only in my rooms 5 minutes minimum. I introduce myself, neuro assessment, focus assessment, write my name on board, date, goals, fall assessment, goals for the day, clean their room, ask the 4 Ps(pain, possessions, potty, position). I do this all in less than 5 minutes. I just don't care what they think about me anymore. My job as a RN is to give patient-care and keep you alive until the next shift arrives. 

[delrionurse]

Once you start having anxiety before going to work and after because you feel you've missed something, and then spend extra time charting and you're caused anxiety, I would look for something else. Time management is not your problem, supervisors, charge nurses and instructors have just put that in your mind to make it seems like it's your fault when it's really a poor assignment or poor management. It's not your fault. You spend alot of time on one patient because you care. This might be a conflict of interest with you and the hospital and they don't allow you to do that. I would look for a non bedside position. It's not you, it's them. 

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

If you are 9months into your very first job as a nurse and you feel confident, you'd be an idiot. Feeling like you need years more of research and practice is appropriate, because it's true. No one should put you down for that, you aren't supposed to be perfect. I'm more than thirty years in and still finding things every damn day that I should know, but have to look up. It took me two years from graduation to feel like I could make it through a shift without killing anyone, and that was in a very supportive environment. If you have coworkers nitpicking, its hard to get that confidence, During my first two years nursing I was hospitalized for mental health issues six times...you are not weird for struggling. It's OK to choose something different, but struggling does NOT mean you are going to fail.

[Rate your pain]

That sounds pretty normal to me. It's a really tough job.  I would put in at least one full year or two, if you can handle it. Then, you have SO many options! If you're not in therapy, I would advise that, too. It might be helpful. Best of luck. 

[UrbanHealthRN, BSN, RN]

When I was 9 months into my first job, I worked slower than most of my coworkers because they all had years of experience compared to me. As time went on, I did get faster at a lot of things because I was getting more experience. I trust the same will happen to you, Baynurse.

15 years later, I don't work in a hospital anymore, but time management has still followed me everywhere I go. I agree a lot with what tarnished91 wrote- you've got to stay focused on the bottom line. The more you do and see as a nurse, the more you can get bogged down in the details of patients' lives and complaints and on and on and on. Ask yourself how much of that you really need to focus on. Stay in control of yourself and your time, and don't let patients or staff pull you into what's not important. You've got this!

[JKL33]

canoehead said:

If you are 9months into your very first job as a nurse and you feel confident, you'd be an idiot. Feeling like you need years more of research and practice is appropriate, because it's true.

This.

OP, I'm hoping it may help your anxieties to hear that everything is going to be okay--or at least that you haven't said anything alarming to suggest that it isn't going to be okay. It sounds like you're on track. And sounds like you care to do well and take good care of people, which is something that is infinitely more important than looking confident or knowing the answer to everything.

Now that you know pretty well what a shift looks like and have 9 months behind you, you can start looking for ways to tweak your daily priorities and routines. This is what we all have to do. Look for ways to increase efficiency without compromising patient care.

I suspect this is a matter of the discomfort of a big life transition. It's okay to give yourself grace and just keep moving forward in a positive way.

Take care ~

 

[barcode120x, RN, NP]

Pre shift, during shift, and post shift anxiety is absolutely normal and as a nurse, that never really leaves you (unless you did like a non-treating position). There is no set time frame of experience that will make these feelings of inadequacy and anxiety go away. I was a 7 years a tele nurse and my last 2 years, I did charge nurse on top of that all throughout covid. Let me tell you, that anxiety and feelings of inadequacy never go away. This is not to scare you, but to let you know this is the life of a nurse and a part of most bedside positions. I've never dealt with any mental health conditions, but I can imagine it would suck and be rough in a bedside position. I am not a fan of telling people to leave their bedside and go into the new found fad of "soft nursing," but if your mental health is truly being affected, maybe you should seek a non-bedside position. 9 months in my opinion is still too early to drop off, especially since you have a great team. I had an amazing team my entire nursing career and honestly, they helped me succeed, grow, and stick with bedside nursing and helped me get through the thick and thin of nursing. So I encourage you to stay, seek ways to take care of your mental health that just don't solely rely on medications, and to meditate and evaluate your mistakes and feelings and look to see what what you can improve on.

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

I'd be more worried if you didn't feel like a flaming idiot this early in your career.  As you're discovering nursing school does not prepare you to be a successful nurse, it just prepares you to learn how to be a successful nurse. It can easily take a couple of years to even start feeling even a little bit like you might know what you are doing.  

That feeling is perfectly normal but if the stress and uncertainty are affecting your health don't ignore that. See a counsellor at the least or start looking for a slightly slower paced position or a job where you are not caring for high acuity patients if you need to.

[Barriss Offee]

It took me 2 years before I truly felt confident. It took me 1 year before I felt like I could competently do "nurse stuff."

I remember driving to work about a year into my first job and thinking to myself, "I think I finally get it. Maybe I can actually handle today."

If you, at 9 months into your first job, are expecting to be at the level of comfort compared to multi-year experienced nurses, I would recommend reconsidering that expectation. 

"Time-management" skills is a fancy term people use in an attempt to universally explain the struggles of new grads. It's mostly BS. 

EXPERIENCE. You'll get there. But experience is not accelerated with everyone echoing the phrase "time-management skills."