About a month ago, as I was doing my final check on things and getting ready to head home, one of the drs I regularly work with approached me and asked if i wanted to go out for dinner or drinks sometime. I made a joke about my husband probably not appreciating that and he said 'Maybe another time.'. Fast forward a few weeks, and as I'm walking in in the morning he asks if I'm free that night. I politely decline. It has now been about a month and it has escalated to him putting his arm around my shoulder, to him adjusting the card conveniently over my breast to just today him standing behind me as i was bending over and putting his hands on my hips and pulling me against him. I have told him multiple times now that I'm not interested, and would prefer if our relationship was nothing but professional but every time he dismisses me.
My question is, how do I deal with this? I've tried talking to the higher-ups but I was told that I should get over it. This dr has been working here for much longer than me, and is well respected, there is little chance anyone here would take my side over his.
Should I do something, or am I over reacting and should just ignore it?
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
I absolutly can not believe you have allowed this to continue for so long! I am kind of jelous. I see $$$ from a sexual harrassment suit.
If I were your husband I would catch this guy alone in the parking lot and knock his teeth out. My experience is that you only need to do it once and from then on nobody will lay their hands on your wife.
Any unwelcome comments or advances are harassment. First, you must make it clear that they are unwelcome, (which it sounds like you have done), then you must file a report.
Totally uncalled for and he probably does it to many women.
If I told my husband I'd be bailing him out of Jail....
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
If I told my husband I'd be bailing him out of Jail....
What I find work is to not allow the guy with his teeth knocked in to know exactly who just did it to him (you can do this while at the same time letting him know why he is choking on his teeth) and have a good alibi.
1:42 am by PMFB-RN I absolutly can not believe you have allowed this to continue for so long! I am kind of jelous. I see $$$ from a sexual harrassment suit. If I were your husband I would catch this guy alone in the parking lot and knock his teeth out. My experience is that you only need to do it once and from then on nobody will lay their hands on your wife. _____________________________________________________________________ Not sure why, but the 'quote button' isn't working. Anyway, I don't condone violence, but the comment from PMFB-RN is what I would expect from a(my)husband. Forget keying the car, that dude needs an azz whooping. Unfortunately, physically defending your wife is illegal.
Have your husband call him and be very polite. This should put an end to it. If you can't have your husband do it, have a male friend do it and pretend to be your husband. Basically "I am her husband, she is my wife, she has indicated to you she wants nothing more then a professional relationship. Please do not ask my wife out anymore not lunch not nothing. Do you have any questions? Good bye."
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Have your husband call him and be very polite. This should put an end to it. If you can't have your husband do it, have a male friend do it and pretend to be your husband. Basically "I am her husband, she is my wife, she has indicated to you she wants nothing more then a professional relationship. Please do not ask my wife out anymore not lunch not nothing. Do you have any questions? Good bye."
I'd rather see the OP be able to stand on her own two feet and back the creep off rather than get some guy to do it for her. It sounds like the exaggerated startle and yelling "Do not touch me!" in the parking garage had the desired effect. Hopefully that will put an end to it all.
I'm old enough to remember the time when if a nurse went up against a physician, the nurse got fired. I remember an OB slapping a delivery room nurse. The nurse was fired, and when her manager backed her up, the manager was fired, too. Hopefully that sort of thing doesn't happen any more, but I'm not entirely sure that HR will back up the nurse in a "He said/she said" situation, either. If the parking garage had cameras, that may give the OP some "proof."
Unfortunately, just because he's done something wrong and the OP hasn't doesn't mean that the OP will actually prevail. Unless the physician has been in hot water over this sort of thing before, I think I'd tread lightly and settle for getting him to stop already. You may find it difficult to get any actually justice in this situation.
hehehe....jk You should have one of your coworkers record on cellphone and not let him see it!! try to have a good record of him getting close to you and your body movement and behavior this is really important ...and get attorney you'll get paid to stay home until they investigate it!! Good luck
just today him standing behind me as i was bending over and putting his hands on my hips and pulling me against him.
Jesus, when did we "roaring" women become such pansies? A man who did that to me would receive a swift kick to the balls and a warning never to touch me again.
You should have one of your coworkers record on cellphone and not let him see it!! try to have a good record of him getting close to you and your body movement and behavior this is really important ...and get attorney you'll get paid to stay home until they investigate it!! Good luck
Lev, MSN, RN, NP
4 Articles; 2,805 Posts
True that.