About a month ago, as I was doing my final check on things and getting ready to head home, one of the drs I regularly work with approached me and asked if i wanted to go out for dinner or drinks sometime. I made a joke about my husband probably not appreciating that and he said 'Maybe another time.'. Fast forward a few weeks, and as I'm walking in in the morning he asks if I'm free that night. I politely decline. It has now been about a month and it has escalated to him putting his arm around my shoulder, to him adjusting the card conveniently over my breast to just today him standing behind me as i was bending over and putting his hands on my hips and pulling me against him. I have told him multiple times now that I'm not interested, and would prefer if our relationship was nothing but professional but every time he dismisses me.
My question is, how do I deal with this? I've tried talking to the higher-ups but I was told that I should get over it. This dr has been working here for much longer than me, and is well respected, there is little chance anyone here would take my side over his.
Should I do something, or am I over reacting and should just ignore it?
I think this is where our main disagreement lies. I believe in self-defense (as defined in a previous post) but not in retalition or "prophylactic" beatings. I believe in leaving "retaliation" or rather punishment for a crime, to the legal system rather then arbitrarily being meted out by individual citizens.
That's all well, fine and mighty civilized of you. To a certain extent, I believe in letting the criminal justice system dole out punishment. That said, I have no problem with old school vigilante justice for certain crimes such as child abuse or rape. I would never judge someone for avenging their child or spouse. Distraught people aren't always rational and civilized when they've been victimized.
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
I believe in leaving "retaliation" or rather punishment for a crime, to the legal system rather then arbitrarily being meted out by individual citizens.
Nice if you have such a system available. Not everybody does. Now that I live in America the legal system would be an option.
SO, so sorry for the lack of updates! The meeting was pushed back because of a major incident in the hospital, which I can't go into detail about for privacy reasons, but to say the least its been very very hectic.
My talk with mangment went very well. They most definitely did not tell me to get over it.
Dr creepy has been fired. He had a similar complaint filed against him about 15 years ago, and was given a warning, had to change departments etc, however I guess he did not learn his lesson. I'm not sure what legal action is going to be taken at the moment, more meetings are coming, but HR and mangement want to ensure that he will have a chance to do this again to any one at any facility.
As for the department heads that told me to 'get over it', they have not been in my department recently and I was told that they would 'take care of it'. I'm not sure if they have been fired, if they are on unpaid leave, but i have a another meeting soon where I will find out.
As for taking this into my own hands, and getting a lawyer... For now I'm satisfied with how this is being handled. Management and HR have been understanding, and compliant. And to be honest, I love this job and I want to do everything I can to keep it. Though if in the future I know that that is an option.
Thank you all for the help. You've all provided me so much comfort and support and I'm so grateful. If there's anything else to tell you I will.
SO, so sorry for the lack of updates! The meeting was pushed back because of a major incident in the hospital, which I can't go into detail about for privacy reasons, but to say the least its been very very hectic.
My talk with mangment went very well. They most definitely did not tell me to get over it.
Dr creepy has been fired. He had a similar complaint filed against him about 15 years ago, and was given a warning, had to change departments etc, however I guess he did not learn his lesson. I'm not sure what legal action is going to be taken at the moment, more meetings are coming, but HR and mangement want to ensure that he will have a chance to do this again to any one at any facility.
As for the department heads that told me to 'get over it', they have not been in my department recently and I was told that they would 'take care of it'. I'm not sure if they have been fired, if they are on unpaid leave, but i have a another meeting soon where I will find out.
As for taking this into my own hands, and getting a lawyer... For now I'm satisfied with how this is being handled. Management and HR have been understanding, and compliant. And to be honest, I love this job and I want to do everything I can to keep it. Though if in the future I know that that is an option.
Thank you all for the help. You've all provided me so much comfort and support and I'm so grateful. If there's anything else to tell you I will.
You can still press charges against Dr. Creepy. I'm glad your hospital seems to be on your side.
Are you in the union? Not sure of your province but ONA should help you navigate this. I had an acquaintance (non-RN) who got help through the govt--I believe it was a human rights commission but not certain. Took years though. As someone who has worked in both Canada and the U.S., I find Canada had feel-good policies but because legal awards are low, employers aren't afraid and bad guys aren't stopped. If the U.S., if you look like you might sue, I've seen action. Good luck
Filthy unprofessional sexual harassment is clearly what this is. Think of it this way. If he is doing this to you as he pleases, I wonder what he is doing with female patients who cannot defend themselves. If your husband catches wind of this, the doctor is going to blame everything on you. He needs to be dealt with accordingly.
lovinglife2015
292 Posts
That's all well, fine and mighty civilized of you. To a certain extent, I believe in letting the criminal justice system dole out punishment. That said, I have no problem with old school vigilante justice for certain crimes such as child abuse or rape. I would never judge someone for avenging their child or spouse. Distraught people aren't always rational and civilized when they've been victimized.