Advanced Directive? Hmmm

Published

Please, nobody flame me.... :angryfire

I apologze for not giving this topic the proper level of respect and sobriety it deserves...

I am hard working churchgoer and believe in respecting authority.....

BUT THIS WAS JUST TOO FUNNY NOT TO POST!!! :p

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Living Will

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind

and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood

ethically challenged politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology

if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for

a Tanqueray on the rocks ; cold beer etc.( substitute your choice), it

should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination

is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to

pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the

Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep me on

life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their

own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education

and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case.

I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge

for their run for the presidency, it is my wish that they play politics

with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails

to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know

these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and

crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a

political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make

his or her existence a living hell.

_____________________ __________________

Signature Witness

DATE ________________ DATE ______________

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I LOVE IT!!! :yeah: :roll :rotfl:

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Exactly!:chuckle

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but made me laugh my butt off!! :rotfl: Nurses are known for their "inappropriateness". I have seen nurses laugh at death (myself included) or other inappropriate things. We have to laugh! Otherwise we would be crying all of the time and a large number of us would either leave the profession or end up on a psych ward.

Thanks for the laugh! I really needed it.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Too funny!

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Yup..... I e-mailed it to all my friends. They all liked it too.

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Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

Great!!!!!!!!!! I Love It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yep

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Specializes in Behavioral Health.

That's great.

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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

very funny

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I liked this and may well use it for my own personal directive ;-) . :chuckle

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No flames from me!!!

I think I sign this if I thought it would work---as nurses we have to laugh at life's incongruities. Thanks for the humor!

Please, nobody flame me.... :angryfire

I apologze for not giving this topic the proper level of respect and sobriety it deserves...

I am hard working churchgoer and believe in respecting authority.....

BUT THIS WAS JUST TOO FUNNY NOT TO POST!!! :p

----------------

Living Will

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind

and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood

ethically challenged politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology

if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for

a Tanqueray on the rocks ; cold beer etc.( substitute your choice), it

should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination

is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to

pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the hypocritical members of the

Legislature (State or Federal) enact a special law to keep me on

life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their

own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education

and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case.

I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge

for their run for the presidency, it is my wish that they play politics

with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails

to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know

these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and

crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a

political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make

his or her existence a living hell.

_____________________ __________________

Signature Witness

DATE ________________ DATE ______________

Up Vote Up Vote ×
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