Published Jan 8, 2005
My daughter has taken, with the exception of A&P I&2, her prereqs. She is taking both this summer. She will be eligible to enter the ADN program this fall. I am so excited about her getting her uniform, white shoes, stethescope, nursing care plan sheets, and clinically rotating this fall! She is contemplating going to a BSN program instead. The BSN program at the university is $455.00 per credit hr as opposed to $81.00 at the Jr college. Obviously money is an issue for us, and I do not want her to go into debt. I told her that it is best to take her NCLEX asap and not to put unnecessary time and info between that time. I also feel that she will get more nursing experience by doing it what I call the 2+1 way, which is the bridge program rather than the 3+0 way, not to mention that the hospital will probably pay for the bridged year. I do not like (4) yr colleges b/c I have never had as great an exp. at any of them as at the community colleges. I have gone to (4) diff (4) yr colleges, and (2) diff community colleges. I am currently enrolled in an ADN community college program and I love my instructors! She will be going to a different community college in a different state. I am very familiar with the community college that she will, God willin', go to this fall, b/c I graduated from there with an AS degree and she has taken all her prereqs except Micro there. We disagree every night about this decision b/c I do not feel that more general education classes will make her a better nurse, and it will cost her a year of work. She plans to meet with the (4) colleges and find out if she can enter with sophomore status. I have looked at some of the (4) yr curriculums and they are absurd. They require pathophysiology (4) cr, pharmacology (3) cr, foundations (5) cr, nutrition (3) cr, and sociology (3) cr this is a ttl of (18) cr which is inhumane, as opposed to (8) cr at the Jr college. I really feel that (18) cr is a recipe for failure. She tells me that she wants to be challenged, live on campus, she is convinced that she can have a social life while going to nursing school, and has long range plans to go to med school. I tell her lets make small successes, and then progress to bigger ones.
Edited by Nurse Ratched: exciting update to original poster's story on post #75! Congrats to daughter! :) Adding this because I don't want folks new to the thread to miss it.
LilPeanut, MSN, RN, NP
It's her life and her decision. She might change her mind, she might not; but in the end, it's her choice to make. You pushing is only going to convince her to follow her own path.
My mom always thought I'd be a great nurse, but when it came time to go to college, I chose to study spanish and international studies. She didn't hassle me at all. Now, I'm going back for another degree and she's being my cheerleader.
Even if it is the wrong choice, it's hers to make and the experience of being away from home and in the dorms and trying to make it on her own might be very good for her. The experience and maturity she could get from that are potentially very valuable to any career, including nursing.
There comes a point at which you have to turn 'em loose and let 'em go. She sounds responsible. It also sounds as though she would be the one taking on the debt...so if it's what she really wants, then she should see if she can do it. Plus at this point she may be so set on it because you're so set against it.
My daughter's 19 and also in nursing school. She started out in a BSN program, after one year switched to LPN (married a man in the service and is in CA for the next year; she can finish the LPN in the time she is there). When we talked about BSN vs RN, she made the ultimate decision since she is paying for school herself.
have looked at some of the (4) yr curriculums and they are absurd. They require pathophysiology (4) cr, pharmacology (3) cr, foundations (5) cr, nutrition (3) cr, and sociology (3) cr this is a ttl of (18) cr which is inhumane, as opposed to (8) cr at the Jr college.
are those 18 in addition to the nursing classes? they dont sound absurd to me. pathophysiology is important, as is pharmacology for obvious reasons. nutrition is good to know, what with so many people needed diet therapy-for weight loss, for diabetes, for cardiovascular health, for medication interactions, etc. sociology? i can't support that. i didn't like sociology, lol, so i wont stick up for that.
those are all important classes, ones i'd hardly call absurd.
WOW I had to take all of those classes plus many more and am paying $500.00 a credit for an ADN program. Sometimes you have to let them find out for themselves. When I graduated high school I decided to go to business school for medical assisting instead of nursing right off the bat. My mom was so against it. Guess what choice I made? Now here I am living back at home again at the age of 27 going to college for nursing. Darn I hate when that women is right!
She is an adult and it is here life and her decision. All of the credits make sense to me. I took Sociology and it made sense to me to take it.
I agree with previous posters, if you pressure her it will backfire and ultimately this is her decision not yours. Have some faith and confidence that you raised an intelligent young lady and she will follow her own path to happiness.
Lol, I'm a mom of a teen myself so I understand how some of these disagreements arise and escalate but all I could think as I finished reading your post was "Back Off Mom, Back Off!!!"
I know you feel passionately about your viewpoint and you may even be right... I don't know anything about 4 year schools. But you might want to consider that it still may not be right for her... At her age it's not always the practical and direct path that's important, sometimes there are other experiences that are just as important (as can be found with dorm life etc...) Many people say that going away to college is the best time of their life, the time when they really find themselves. It's not always solely about the career (as is usually the case for students our age)... You've given her your advice and she's heard you. Now it's time to acknowledge that she knows enough about herself to understand her own needs. Give her the kind of support that tells her you believe and trust in her... a wonderful gift. It will mean more to her than anything else you could do for her right now.
Good luck to you.
Awesome post! Just what I would have said myself if I wasn't so tired. :)
She is an adult and it is here life and her decision..........ultimately this is her decision not yours.
You're right in saying "she is an adult" (assuming she is already of legal age).
You're right in saying "it is her life and her decision". Can't argue that, either.
What is NOT right is IF the PARENTS are footing the educational bill for her.
The original poster stated that they could afford the $81.00 per credit hour tuition rate, but they could not afford the $445.00 per credit hour tuition rate. Therefore, if their daughter insist on going to college where her parents have already stated they cannot afford for her to go, then the daughter needs to foot the bill. Afterall............that too is part of being an adult and making decisions that affect her life as an adult. :)
The "OP" stated money IS an issue, and they cannot afford the higher rate. They should tell their daughter they will pay up to whatever amount they can comfortably afford to pay with daughter paying the balance.
It's good to want. Daughter needs to understand the facts. The fact is there is only so much money to go around, and her parents are willing to give her what they can afford. If she really wants to go to college and become a nurse, she will accept what her parents can afford to pay and stop whining about wanting what she wants........regardless of her rationale behind it. :)
Facts can't change the truth.........but, truth can change the facts. Daughter needs to begin understanding this reality of being an adult now that she is one. :)
Who's payin' the bill?
You - CC or nothin' unless she can get a hospital or other party to foot the bill.
Her (or other arrangements) None of your business, let her make her own choices.
My $0.02... If she's young, she may as well get it all done and behind her and focus solely on nursing without that Bachelo's hangin' over her.
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
Cheerfuldoer makes a very good point. If she wants to go to the more expensive program, then it is time to talk loans. :)
Having said that, I have been to two different 4 year colleges and loved it. I would also say go for the BSN since she is young and unmarried and has no children. This is the time to do it.
I am also the mom of a 21 year old in college and a 19 year old and a 15 year old so I know what it is like to have teens and young adults; plus the "bonus child" - our 3 year old son. :) I think after reading your post I'd have to agree with the other posters and say slow down mom.
It isn't easy though.
Tweety, BSN, RN
Cheerful, the op said "I don't want her to go into debt"....meaning mom isn't footing the bill, or 100% of the bill.
Sounds like she has a lot of the pre-reqs out of the way, so getting the BSN shouldn't take much time. I say let her go for it now, especially if the ultimate goal is med school.
I went the ADN route, and am now getting the BSN and borrowing money to get it. But if I were young and able to go to a 4 year degreed college I would go and get it out of the way as early as possible.
I would definately try to allow my child to have this opportunity to go to a 4-year school and experience all that college life is to a young person, social life and all. For many people college is the best time of their life. So much growing up they do there.
There are all kinds of practical and financial reasons to go the community college route, if you've stated your case and she's stated her, then the bottom line is whose decision is it?
Let her make her own decisions. You live your life and get your ADN and set that example and let her live her life. Sooner or later we all come to a point where we realize mom and dad were right, but she's obviously not there. LOL
Just let her know you're there for her for morale support no matter what she does.
Good luck to both of you.
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