add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts

ritarunningfeet · Apr 18, 2007

My Favorite:uhoh3: is when they bring you samples and set them on the desk:barf01: .

" I'm unconcious" The pt telling. I said you mean you were unconcious, no I'm unconcious now. Ok, sure.

RNDreamer · Apr 18, 2007

lol, funny

.
" I'm unconcious" The pt telling. I said you mean you were unconcious, no I'm unconcious now. Ok, sure.

TazziRN, RN · Apr 18, 2007

True stories:

"My baby's not breathing!"

Baby is looking at me from his carrier with wide eyes, nice and pink, with a stuffy nose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My baby can't swallow."

Baby is sucking from a bottle with gusto and inhales half the contents right before my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My baby's heart hurts."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because she's crying a lot."

Baby is sitting in mom's lap giggling as I tickle her chin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

16-year-old girl brought in by her mother with a request to verify the girl's virginity because a neighbor lady was spreading rumors in the neighborhood that the girl had slept with several boys.

AliRae · Apr 18, 2007

"ran away from home for a few days. mom wants to know if still a virgin."

RNDreamer · Apr 18, 2007

"ran away from home for a few days. mom wants to know if still a virgin."

oh goodness, lol

RedERRN · Apr 18, 2007

I don't remember the exact words he used, but one of our genuine medical frequent flyers presented one night because he had slept with a prostitute and then proceeded to wash his privates with bleach :eek: "so I wouldn't get an STD." Ummmm.....yeah.

He was airlifted to the nearest burn center!

TazziRN, RN · Apr 19, 2007

I don't remember the exact words he used, but one of our genuine medical frequent flyers presented one night because he had slept with a prostitute and then proceeded to wash his privates with bleach "so I wouldn't get an STD." Ummmm.....yeah.
He was airlifted to the nearest burn center!

Oh

my

gawd.....................

10MG-IV · May 23, 2008

Hey all new to the board, thought we could share some strang encounters in triage......
...as the 24yr male entered triage I asked what's wrong today? He replies my "ovories" hurt...... there is a time for pt education and there is a time when it's not....this is clearly one of those time its not.....
Whats yours?
JBL:sofahider

JOHN AND I Decided we should treat you with a few we have heard over the past few weeks.,

I can't be pregnant, I had a tubal litigation." Sex with a Lawyer???? Hummm

I have aspiration..... what sir what symptoms are you having??? my butt is sweating. :yeah:

"Stomake" "left foot" direah crossed out , dirahhea crossed out darihea, crossed out... shi*s

*****.....

yellow blood

bad blood

sugar blood

vomiking

"headache below the waist." go figure, I lost them in the mix and couldn't find out what was really wrong. could have been "vines"

sjt9721, BSN, RN · May 23, 2008

.....
yellow blood
bad blood
sugar blood

You forgot "high blood".......to which I always reply, "Sugar or pressure?"

bill4745, RN · May 23, 2008

" I kneed a preggeirancy test"

How about an IQ test?

TraumaNurseRN · May 23, 2008

Triae nurse: What brings you to the ER?

Pt: Somethin's going on down there! (Points below the counter)

Triage nurse: Down where?

Pt: Down there where the grass don't grow but I got somethin growin, for sure, and it ain't pretty.

suzy253, RN · May 23, 2008

Mom and Dad brought 9 month old to the ER.

Complaint?

The baby isn't reading