A nurse who doesn't breastfeed

cassie77775 · Jun 4, 2014

I had 3 children before I was a nurse and not one of them breastfed. I am all for whatever gets the baby fed and I present that to all my moms. If they want to breastfeed, I do whatever I can to help them be successful, if they want to formula feed, I help them there as well.

klone, MSN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

I feel like a lot of people don't even want to try to breastfeed anymore, there's formula, it's on the market, so it must be good...

Generally speaking, in the US, the national average breastfeeding INITIATION rate is around 85%. So I would say that your experience is definitely in the minority. I would say that breastfeeding has definitely made a resurgence, and the number of women I would see in OB who knew from the get-go that they absolutely didn't want to breastfeed (out of personal preference, rather than medical issues) was definitely in the minority.

In my own personal experience, having nursed three (from anywhere from 19 months to 4 1/2 years) was that the only comments I received from nursing in public were positive. Oddly, they were almost exclusively from elderly men, who seemed almost nostalgic. I generally didn't make a practice of nursing in public beyond about 18 months, however.

klone, MSN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

And after MANY years of counseling women on breastfeeding (I was a La Leche League Leader for 8 years before I became a lactation consultant), I don't judge women on their reasons for choosing not to. I make sure their reasons are based on facts, rather than misconceptions. Then, if they choose not to breastfeed, I support them in their choice. I don't have enough time and mental energy to do more than that. As a wise mentor once told me, "You cannot care more than the mother does."

damrcngrl95 · Jun 4, 2014

For me it's not an issue who does what with their children. I think the dilemma comes from moms that are fully capable of breastfeeding, yet choose not to. One girl I know said that her boobs will sag, pardon my language, that's not an acceptable reason for me. Again, I don't condemn anyone for not breastfeeding, it's just that I have strong opinion about it, that is all.
As a mom who breastfed I have to say that I felt like I was in a minority all of the time. When I have birth, the nurses "assumed" that I'd formula feed my child, so without asking they gave her formula, even though I never consented. Lactation nurse didn't even try to encourage or show how to properly breastfeed, even after I've requested it. I had nurses coming in bringing me boxes of formula when I specifically told them that I didn't need it. Every time I'd breastfeed in public(under a cover) Id get stares, nods and comments(some positive, but many negative). I feel like a lot of people don't even want to try to breastfeed anymore, there's formula, it's on the market, so it must be good...

Wow, you had a pretty bad experience and the nurses should have asked.

I guess I've had a positive experience with the nurses when I had my children. The nurses were there for me if I wanted to breast feed and still there for me if I had wanted to formula feed. My daughter's second child was a little premature ( 35 weeks) and even though she couldn't breast feed she wanted to "pump". The nurses gave her really great information about breast feeding and formula, but stayed very neutral and left the decision up to my daughter. It was a great experience. She didn't feel pressured either way.

TexRN, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

I don't need a background in lactation to recognize that your comments are ugly and judgmental; exactly why I will chose to bottle feed my 4th child. It is a personal decision that no one should ever feel guilty for making. Bottle feeding does not mean I love my children less nor does it mean I'm feeding them the equivalent of McDonalds. I was a better mother when I chose to stop BF and bottle feed and my children were better for it.

I don't care if you formula feed to be honest but don't do it out of spite because of judgmental comments.

Don't have time to pump at work? You're protected by law. There is your time.

As for those against donor milk, it's recommended before formula is and for good reason. Breast milk is NOT a bodily fluid and milk sharing is a very very safe practice if you go about it educated. I've donated over 4000 ounces of breast milk. I have nourished 11 babies not including my own. The families found my gift to be a blessing and their babies thrived because of it. I do not care who formula feeds but leave your opinion at the door to your hospital. Because breast needs to be pushed in hospitals over formula and if you aren't educated about lactation and spew misinformation and your opinions you're doing everyone a disservice.

OP Yes you will be judged, but its not because of your choice to formula feed. It's for your untrue statements about breastfeeding and your inability to read a medical study correctly and also posting news websites and blods for your "reputable" source, ones that have been debunked many times over.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2014

MODERATOR NOTE:

This is another polarizing subject and personal attacks WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

Further posts will be deleted and points assigned

fawnmarie, ASN · Jun 5, 2014

I live in an area of the country where breastfeeding rates are low. I enjoyed teaching others about lactation, but I hope I never made anyone feel like they were "trash" because they chose to bottle feed. More education is needed here in the South to promote lactation and make breastfeeding more mainstream. However, as nurses, we MUST NOT judge others for their lifestyle choices...it is inappropriate and unprofessional to do so.

Irish_Mist, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2014

It is YOUR choice how you feed your baby. You owe NO ONE an explanation for that choice other than maybe your husband or partner. I am 7 months pregnant. I want to breastfeed but do not feel it is my right to judge any other woman's decision. It is a personal choice. People love to ask if you're breastfeeding, especially the judgmental and militant pro-breast feeding crowd. If someone asks, just say "why do you ask?" That is what I do if someone inquires about my plans to breastfeed or not. As far as being judged as a patient, remember that it is your choice and your business.

SmilingBluEyes · Jun 6, 2014

It's certainly your choice, your baby, your body. If after you have truly researched all the facts and benefits of bottle/breastfeeding, this is your choice, I am certainly not one to judge. But be careful when you educate your patients who are either on the fence or thinking of bottle-feeding. You need to have the research/facts at your disposal when you do. That would be my main caveat. Otherwise, who am I to tell you what to do with *your* family and body? It truly is up to you and I want you to be comfortable and secure in your decision. As an OB nurse, I would tell you no different. Best wishes to you!

j0yegan · Jun 7, 2014

Wow. I had no idea this would be such a popular thread. I didn't read everyone's posts... too many. Haha. But thank you to the positive people here. :)

iPink, BSN, RN · Jun 7, 2014

Wow. I had no idea this would be such a popular thread. I didn't read everyone's posts... too many. Haha. But thank you to the positive people here. :)

A woman's choice to breastfeed or not and the potential criticism for that choice? Yup, that'll be a hot topic for sure.

Sent from iPink's phone via allnurses app

Marymoomoo · Jun 9, 2014

Someday when I have a baby, I'm going to bottlefeed. Yeah yeah, I know all the health benefits of breastfeeding and all that. And I teach my patients that. But I also respect their decision if they choose not to breastfeed. I personally don't find it's something I want to do. Feeding formula is NOT POISON and these lactation consultants need to stop acting like it is. I was given formula when I was a baby and I turned out just fine. Nobody even knows the long-term benefits of breast milk. Working as a postpartum nurse, I feel like I'm going to be judged beyond belief for not choosing breastfeeding when I become a patient someday. It's always in the back of my mind.

I'm an IBCLC, and to be honest, I find it a little offensive to be categorized among people who think/act like formula is "poison". That's not a feature of all lactation consultants. I'm not trying to minimize your experience, I'm just saying that's not how we all think.

Personally, I think formula has a place. It's a medical food that replaces breastmilk, just like Ensure replaces food for an adult who needs enteral feeding. Infant formula not an exact approximation for breastmilk, but it's the best we have. It has the basic macro and micro nutrients that babies need to survive and grow, just like Ensure has the basic macro and micro nutrients to maintain nutrition for a period of time.

Breastmilk is species specific food for human infants. In other words, it is the food that infants are born to eat. It has everything they need to thrive and grow. It contains things that cannot be replicated in a lab, therefore cannot be added to commercial formula. Human milk is not just nutrition, it is part of the baby's immune system. It forms the baby's microbiome, the importance of which is just now being studied and reported. Breastmilk contains growth factors, hormones, antibodies, and even stem cells! It's amazing stuff. A component in breastmilk called HAMLET is lethal to cancer cells. Our bodies protect our babies in utero, and out through breastmilk. Science just can't replicate this.

Okay, so you grew up "fine" on formula. So did I. So did almost everyone who is my age. Lots of babies do "fine" on formula today, and some are geniuses and some are never sick. Some breastfed babies are frequently sick. But, you see, all of these are the experiences of individuals and they count for squat when it comes to the data. Even when our common sense fails us (collective)--meaning we forget we are mammals and we make milk to feed our babies--science tells us that in the POPULATION (not individually), breastfed babies fare better. Also add to that, breastfeeding mothers are healthier lifelong including less premenopausal breast cancer, ovarian cancer, metobolic syndrome, type 2 diabetes, later osteoporosis, high blood pressure, heart disease, and even PPD.

Of course, women can choose however they wish to feed their babies. I hope that all women are provided information that helps them make an informed choose, and they understand that choosing between formula and breastmilk is not like choosing between Coke and Pepsi. It's not simply a matter of taste and preference; there are real health implications at stake. These health implications can come from lack of breastmilk (what baby doesn't get) or from the formula itself (such as in the case of contamination). Whether that's easy to swallow or not, it's the truth. As a woman who was formula fed, I don't like thinking about the fact that I might not be as "fine" as I would have been if I had been fed breastmilk.

To follow up, I just want to say you are SO right that formula is not poison. Please don't assume that when people talk about why breastfeeding matters that it means that they believe that it is. I certainly don't! I think that formula has a place.

I tell moms that decide not to breastfeed to consider at least one colostrum feeding after birth. Baby gets the benefits of the first "vaccine", a big immune boost. Plus good things in breastmilk such as oligosaccharides feed beneficial bacteria that will be part of baby's microbiome for their life. It doesn't have to be at breast, but it's a great way to bond with baby while skin to skin after birth. It helps with expelling the placenta and reducing bleeding, too.

Lots of moms are concerned that breastfeeding won't be worth their time since they have to go back to work. It's important to know that breastfeeding doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can breastfeed until you go back to work, or plan to pump for the first few days/weeks back and wean down until you're only feeding formula while you're at work and breastfeeding while you're home. Breastfeeding has to fit into a mom's life for it to work, and there are lots of ways to do that. There's no one right way to breastfeed.

Finally, minimize the risk. If feeding formula, use RTF or liquid concentrate rather than powdered for the first couple of months OR use the CDC guidelines for preparing powdered formula. http://www.cdc.gov/features/cronobacter/