A nurse who doesn't breastfeed

nurse2be13 · May 31, 2014

Your baby. Your body. Your business.

Oedgar · May 31, 2014

I am a nurse who tried twice to breastfeed, and failed. My son was born at 33w, and in a hospital an hour from my home. I rushed there every morning in peak traffic, navigated impossible parking, and ran up the stairs at a few days postpartum to make the 9 am feeding. He was being partly tube fed/partly po fed. He was in Texas Childrens, where I was basically sent to a room alone with a breast pump I had no idea how to use. I asked questions... "why am I not getting anything?" and basically got nowhere. I borrowed a quality pump for home use, with the same result. The only time I ever felt a let-down was while I was driving! My second baby was a robust 36w3 days. She came home with me and I was able to put her to breast. However, she just never got the latch down, in spite of me working with a lactation consultant both in hospital and at home. I decided, after 10 days of bleeding and sore nipples, that I had put my body through enough pain with the cerclage, bedrest, preterm ctx, terbutaline that had been ongoing through that pregnancy. I was able to actually get a little supply going with the pump, and fed her both breast and formula for a few weeks.

Now, in the ob office where I work, I see women who are almost ashamed to tell me they bottlefeed. I am grateful to have the age and perspective to reassure them that their babies will be fine on formula. My first born, who never got one drop of breastmilk, is academically gifted, violin player, just took the ACT as a 7th grader. My youngest, who did get some breastmilk, is bright, a good student, but not quite as gifted as her brother.

Breastfeeding just isn't as natural to everyone as the breastfeeding advocates would like you to think. Bottlefeeding is just fine. I respect people who are able to breastfeed, but there is no shame in bottlefeeding in my opinion.

angikat · May 31, 2014

I breastfed none of my 3 children. Yes I heard a lot of comments from my coworkers but it's short lived. A baby isn't a baby forever so they soon let it go. If you don't want to breastfeed your child then it's your business. There's plenty of healthy children in this world that wasn't breastfed. Do what is best for you!

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses. Angi/LPN (?RN)

T-Bird78 · May 31, 2014

I applaud all of you. I didn't breastfeed either one of my babies and they're both healthy, smart, funny, kind, compassionate, and completely normal. I understand the push toward breastfeeding but people need to respect OUR decision regarding how to feed OUR babies. My formula didn't hurt someone else at all. People in general need to back the heck off and let me decide what is best for my child. You can be a source of encouragement for the moms who do make the choice to bottle feed (or the ones that can't nurse and are forced to bottle feed) because everybody else during their pregnancy and delivery is shoving breastfeeding down their throat. Your babies won't grow a third arm or sprout a tail because you use formula, and more expectant moms need that reassurance.

iluvgusgus · May 31, 2014

I dont know why it would even be their business. I understand that it may cause you anxiety to think of how the lactation specialist would pressure you or lecture you on breastfeeding while you are in the hospital postpartum because that would stress me out too.

From experience, breastfeeding was very difficult for me because I felt like I was just a milk machine and that my sole purpose in life was to breastfeed. When I went back to work as a nurse it was very difficult to find the time to pump. If your co-workers ever ask if you're going to breastfeed when you do become pregnant, it may be only to gauge whether or not they will soon have to cover your pts while you pump! and they may not be asking to judge you... I wish I had continued though even though it was difficult because when I stopped and started my son on formula, he started to get severe eczema and it has been sooooo expensive to deal with this, time consuming, and the poor baby is always itchy and it brings me to tears sometimes when he cries from itching. In response to your saying "they dont know the longterm benefits of breastfeeding"... they do, theres a lot of research on it actually.

RunBabyRN · May 31, 2014

I would argue against your statement that we don't know the long term benefits of breastfeeding, since we've been breastfeeding significantly longer than we've been formula feeding. But I digress.

You may see some resistance, depending on where you are in the country. I'm a big breastfeeding proponent, but I also wouldn't judge a mom's choice for how she wants to feed her children, unless she's trying to raise them on gasoline. As long as a parent is being safe, and their children are happy, do what works. For EVERY choice you make, there will be someone judging you. Welcome to parenting. You'll get more unsolicited advice as a parent (or as a pregnant mama) than you ever have in your life. Try to let it all roll off your back (easier said than done, yes!).

I firmly believe that most people are just doing the best they can, and sadly, some people forget that. You have your reasons for this choice, and that's perfectly fine. Parent YOUR way. :)

CapeCodMermaid, RN · May 31, 2014

I breast fed both of my kids. My father asked on a regular basis if I thought the baby was getting enough to eat. The baby was in the 98th percentile for both height and weight so, yeah, he was getting plenty of food. He's 29 now and 6'1".

There are multiple studies on both the short and long term benefits of breast feeding for the baby and the mom. That being said, it's really no one's business but yours how you feed your child. (Any more than it's Michele Obama's business what kids eat for school lunch, but that's a whole other story!)

klone, MSN, RN · May 31, 2014

Nobody even knows the long-term benefits of breast milk.

Yep, we really do, I promise.

And "I did XYZ as a child and I turned out fine" is a really poor basis for healthcare decisions. Our parents didn't use corificeats and we all turned out just fine, too. Doesn't mean we shouldn't use corificeats with our own children.

Be that as it may, if you don't want to breastfeed, it's no skin off my nose, as long as it doesn't affect your care of your patients who want to breastfeed or may be on the fence about it.

chrisrn24 · May 31, 2014

I will not breastfeed my future children. My body, my decision.

iPink, BSN, RN · May 31, 2014

The lactation consults at my hospital are wonderful. There is no judgement going on in terms of BR vs BO feeding, even with us as postpartum nurses. We are big proponents of breastfeeding but we have plenty of formula stocked if you chose to either supplement or exclusively bottle feed.

You shouldn't care what your coworkers think of you when it comes to your body and how you choose to feed your baby; as long as you and baby are safe.

j0yegan · Jun 1, 2014

Thanks for the support. And yeah, one of the reasons I don't want to breastfeed is that I won't have time to pump every 2-3 hours at work.

We can't really pinpoint the actual long term benefits of breastfeeding because so much goes into a person's overall health like genetics, lifestyle, environment, etc. Also, the World Health Organization says there's no long term benefits of breastfeeding as well.