A Dear Abbey letter. What is your take?

[Faeriewand]

I would like to hear your opinions regarding this situation from a letter taken from Dear Abbey. Do you agree with Abbey? Or should the nurse have done something differently?

DEAR ABBY: While sitting with my husband in the hospital following his surgery, a nurse entered his room. We all chatted while she took his pulse, etc., when -- without warning -- she removed his covers to check the surgery site and totally exposed his genitals.

I was shocked and embarrassed, and have trouble ridding myself of the image of my naked husband lying there in front of another woman. I wish the nurse had given me the chance to leave the room.

Is there something wrong with me for having so much trouble with this? What can I do to avoid this in the future? -- RED-FACED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR RED-FACED: On a scale of 10, I'd say you are probably an 8 on the "uptight" scale. You seem to have forgotten that the woman in the room with you was not a lap dancer, but a health-care professional performing her duties. Your husband was her patient, and in her eyes, was probably as sexless as a CPR dummy. To avoid embarrassment in the future, leave the room when the nurse enters

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I always am amazed at posters that denigrate someone else's opinion by insinuating that they are too young/old/married/single/with children/childless/female/male to possibly understand and be appropriately sensitive to a particular issue.

I am also amazed at those that will grab the phone/pen/email to complain to Dear Abby/lawyer/DA/patient representative when a very simple, "Excuse me, but I prefer that I be out of the room when you examine my spouses's whatever...I know that may not be usual, but please warn me next time", would work quite nicely.

But that, I suppose, would be too lacking in offense, too polite, too simple, too responsible, and contain much too much common sense for today's society.

Would that we work to correct mistakes and inform others of our preferences, rather than suing them/whining about such things that are easily corrected.

Excellent post, as always.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

To me, it's about respect. Nurse should respect the patient enough not to expose the patient, either in front of his wife or in private one-on-one assessment.

2nd have to respect the wife. I'm sure she wasn't upset at the site of her husband's body, but the fact he was naked unnecessarily in front of a strange women. Whatever her lifestyle and beliefs are I have to respect that.

Could have been avoided by looking at the abdomen without exposing the genitals. I see my peers just peel off blankets and sheets all the time. Whatever happened to respecting modesty. I would die if someone did that me, even if I know my body means no more to them than a CPR manniquen.

But I do think that Abby is correct, the lady needs to lighten up slightly as it wasn't a sexual act, but a professional one.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I think Steph said it well.....the thread is becoming redundant.....respecting patient privacy is not anything we are arguing here. I also think Carole said it well-----we need to communcate more and sue others less.......

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I'm figuring if the woman was this upset over what the nurse did, she most certainly wouldn't go to the nurse and talk to her.

Maybe this person thought the nurse would read the column?

[GingerSue]

. Don't you dare wip into my room and yank the covers off me, exposing me. You will find yourself explaining it to your administrator because I will file a complaint. And I will follow up on my compllaint, with the appropriate administrator.

be careful about those intrusive behaviours without asking/warning the patient! I wouldn't like anyone doing this to me. The nurse's behaviour in doing this was disrespectful to the patient. (what if the female visitor in the patient's room wasn't his wife?)

[grannynurse FNP student]

. Don't you dare wip into my room and yank the covers off me, exposing me. You will find yourself explaining it to your administrator because I will file a complaint. And I will follow up on my compllaint, with the appropriate administrator.

be careful about those intrusive behaviours without asking/warning the patient! I wouldn't like anyone doing this to me. The nurse's behaviour in doing this was disrespectful to the patient. (what if the female visitor in the patient's room wasn't his wife?)

You have a point. The female could be a sister, friend, co-worker, boss, church visitor, whom ever. My father and SIL would be mortified if they were ever exposed to me, even knowing I'm a nurse.

Grannynurse:balloons:

[LydiaNN]

Actually, there have been several posts throughout the thread that implied the nurse needn't concern herself with the patient's privacy when the wife was in the room. Why else call the wife ridiculous, uptight, or any of the other names that have been thrown about? And allow me to take this opportunity to thank the nurse at Palomar Hospital who was respectful of my husband's dignity and my feelings when he was hospitalized last year. I'd hate to think that my nurse went to a bulletin board and made fun of me or my family just because they considered my feelings odd. Redundant or not, I don't think Abby's response was very nice, but what really bothers me is that it's been echoed so frequently throughout this thread.

[SharonH, RN]

I mentioned the chart having cultural and religious info in it because my one and only experience with an overnight stay in the hospital included the nurse writing down my religious afiliation and any special accomodations that i would need. Perhaps this is not the norm :uhoh21:

Asking the patient about their cultural and religious background as it may pertain to their care is very much the norm. I can't remember if it is a JCAHO standard or not, but it is most often on the admission form (which tells me that it probably is). So you are not wrong.

[SharonH, RN]

Actually, there have been several posts throughout the thread that implied the nurse needn't concern herself with the patient's privacy when the wife was in the room. Why else call the wife ridiculous, uptight, or any of the other names that have been thrown about? And allow me to take this opportunity to thank the nurse at Palomar Hospital who was respectful of my husband's dignity and my feelings when he was hospitalized last year. I'd hate to think that my nurse went to a bulletin board and made fun of me or my family just because they considered my feelings odd. Redundant or not, I don't think Abby's response was very nice, but what really bothers me is that it's been echoed so frequently throughout this thread.

I was one of the people who stated that the wife's behavior was odd. That does not mean that the nurse need not concern herself with the patient's privacy when the wife was in the room. I KNOW I didn't state that, and I don't remember too many other people stating/implying that either.

There are two issues here that people insist on intertwining: 1)the patient's privacy and 2) the wife's discomfort with another woman seeing her husband naked.

#1 as far as I am concerned is quite a valid issue. #2 is NOT valid because the woman in this case was the nurse caring for him.

There is a lot of self-righteous indignation on both sides about this issue but if we go back and look at the original post the wife's complaint was

NOT that the nurse violated his privacy.

NOT that the wife was embarassed to see her own husband naked.

NOT that his dignity was disturbed.

Her complaint was that another woman- the nurse caring for him- saw her husband naked and she can't get that image out of her mind. And that is absurd. THAT is what some of us have a problem with.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

IHer complaint was that another woman- the nurse caring for him- saw her husband naked and she can't get that image out of her mind. And that is absurd. THAT is what some of us have a problem with.

BINGO!

[Kalico]

I was one of the people who stated that the wife's behavior was odd. That does not mean that the nurse need not concern herself with the patient's privacy when the wife was in the room. I KNOW I didn't state that, and I don't remember too many other people stating/implying that either.

There are two issues here that people insist on intertwining: 1)the patient's privacy and 2) the wife's discomfort with another woman seeing her husband naked.

#1 as far as I am concerned is quite a valid issue. #2 is NOT valid because the woman in this case was the nurse caring for him.

There is a lot of self-righteous indignation on both sides about this issue but if we go back and look at the original post the wife's complaint was

NOT that the nurse violated his privacy.

NOT that the wife was embarassed to see her own husband naked.

NOT that his dignity was disturbed.

Her complaint was that another woman- the nurse caring for him- saw her husband naked and she can't get that image out of her mind. And that is absurd. THAT is what some of us have a problem with.

Very well stated!! I totally agree!

[smk1, LPN]

Asking the patient about their cultural and religious background as it may pertain to their care is very much the norm. I can't remember if it is a JCAHO standard or not, but it is most often on the admission form (which tells me that it probably is). So you are not wrong.

Thanks Sharon for clearing that up. i knew i wasn't crazy.:chuckle