I'm kind of afraid I'm going to lose a new friend?

Kitiger, RN · Jan 28, 2018

So I'm taking anatomy and physiology now, and a couple of girls in my class have started a study group, and they invited me! I'm new to the area plus I have a baby so making friends has been really hard, so it's been super fun socializing, even though we're just talking about AnP and work (we are all CNA's).
We all put in a lot of study time, I know I studied like every day, and we spent a few hours the two days before the exam going over the material.
We got the grades for the first exam back and I got a 96!! woo!
But a friend from the group texted me that she only got a 63. I feel really bad because I posted on facebook about my awesome grade because I did work really hard and I was really nervous for the test, but she probably saw it and feels like sh*t. She's one of those people who really wants to be a nurse and she's a great CNA so to see her work so hard and not have much to show for it makes me feel really badly. I know the program is competitive but I really wish it was people who WEREN'T my friends doing poorly on the tests!

I still remember 2 fellow students in nursing school who used to be eager to tell us what great grades they got. Eh, they weren't in my circle of friends.

You learned something here. Now, you can go to your friend and apologize for bragging. Maybe she would like to study extra together? She reached out to you ...

idkmybffjill · Jan 28, 2018

It doesn't sounds like she's ready to throw in the towel if she texted you herself, unless she was sullen when she texted.

I do think that maybe posting your grades for everyone to see and marvel at isn't the best way to interact with classmates, just because it does come across as rubbing it in. I generally just say that I did well on a test if someone asks. Maybe offer to help her study for the next test, specifically trying to figure out what went wrong with her studying.

**NICU Guy, BSN, RN** · Jan 28, 2018

You learned something here. Now, you can go to your friend and apologize for bragging. Maybe she would like to study extra together? She reached out to you ...

So, being happy about your grade and celebrating is considered bragging? Do you think that if the OP had posted an 80 on the test, that her friend would feel any better about her grade?

RainbowSprinkles · Jan 28, 2018

You have a baby and received a 96, its no reason why you should not be super happy. Hopefully, your post motivated others to get on the ball. If i was in a study group and got a 63 and my peer a 96, I would be stepping my game up!! Also, I would not use the friend term so loosely. A real friend would no befriend you because you posted YOUR grade you bust your butt for, while having a baby.

caliotter3 · Jan 28, 2018

It is up to you whether or not you want to give your friend extra attention to try to help her succeed. While it is nice to be altruistic, sometimes people in her position can suck others down with them. Keep everything in perspective.

**NICU Guy, BSN, RN** · Jan 28, 2018

I understand your desire to make friends in school that will hopefully continue to nursing school. Most nursing schools are very competitive and having a high GPA on the pre-reqs is essential. Your friend is going to have a hard time bringing her grade up to A-B level by the end of the semester. If she has to repeat the class, she will not be in the same nursing class (if she makes it into nursing school). You need to be prepared to get accepted into nursing school without her. Unfortunately, at that point your friendship will most likely fade away as you focus on nursing school and your new classmates.

ItsThatJenGirl, CNA · Jan 28, 2018

I don't think it's bad that you posted your grade. It's a good one, you should be proud of it. I wouldn't apologize for it.

I also don't think you should be worried about losing a "friend". If someone doesn't want to be your friend because you earned a better grade than they did, they aren't a good friend to begin with.

I was always really happy for my classmates that did well - regardless of what my grade was.

In order to avoid feeling this way again though, maybe get a feel for how other people did before sharing.

MiladyMalarkey, ASN, BSN · Feb 3, 2018

Be proud of yourself for getting a good grade. I don't really see anything wrong with exhibiting your excitement, bragging is something else, but sharing your accomplishment on your own social media is different.

I'm the type who doesn't usually advertise grades unless asked or I keep it vague. It has helped avoid awkwardness at times when someone has told me how horrible they did. That just works for me.

Ultimately, If she is a real friend she won't begrudge you for doing well.

NurseYoshi · Feb 4, 2018

I'd like to join!

So during my nursing program, I didn't do very well on most exams, especially when it came to medsurg because one teacher wrote really poor questions that made no sense (even when I went to review with her). So along cane the medsurg HESI And I antipated failing medsurg because I hadn't passed a specialty HESI at all and was pretty much failing medsurg. Well when the grades for that HESI were posted, I looked at mine and asked some classmates to reread it because I was so shocked. I had made a 99.99%! I squealed in a semi-full classroom (it was lunch break). And everyone started seeing me as the genius and asked me for guidance. I HAD BEEN FAILING! I was glad because I wouldn't fail and have to retake a class (my school has a 2 strikes and you're out policy). Even now, I'm still viewed as the smarty pants who couldn't fail a standardized test even though I only benched two specialty HESIs (out of like 6 or 7). I don't enjoy seeing people starting first semester post grades (even though I know how hard they've worked to get in because most of my friends have tried for several semesters to get accepted). They'll post about their Bs and I passed with Cs.

I love helping my classmates, but for me it was like the blind leading the blind. That and my cohort was the first one under the new curriculum at our school. Fun times.

Serhilda, ADN, RN · Feb 6, 2018

I wouldn't bother befriending people that are overly sensitive about grades and can't be happy for their friends. I can't say whether or not she's offended but I wouldn't think so. That was one thing that was strange about nursing school though. In all my prereqs, people discussed grades pretty casually and asked for tips from someone that was doing better. In nursing school, a poor grade really seemed to do a number on some people's ego. I'd ignore those types and just care less honestly.

kdrop · Feb 7, 2018

Her feelings are her responsibility- not your responsibility.