My 9 year old patient was raped and required surgery

Tippy-ta-ta · Dec 23, 2008

That poor baby. You are a great compassionate and caring nurse. The journal and Teddy Bear is a great idea and she will remember you always for that.

If you really feel the need to say something to her about your experience I would just tell her that something similar happned to you when you were about her age and that you understand what she is going thru and then leave it at that. That way she can feel that you can relate w/o going into specifics or detail. Best of luck to ya. and her also. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

SwampCat, BSN · Dec 23, 2008

That poor little girl. I certainly hope whoever did this get's what they deserve. And then some.

God bless you for going above and beyond.

Babs0512 · Dec 23, 2008

Give her every opportunity to talk about it. Always take time to listen, try to make sure she REALLY believes this was not her fault - she was victimized - I'm guessing by someone she knew - usually that is the case.

I like the journal idea. I also think a rape counselor might be a good idea, your social service department may be able to give you that information. Hugs to you and your innocent patient. God bless you for all you do. May God also give this child some peace.

Blessings

LydiaNN · Dec 23, 2008

Do you have an Employee Assistant Program at work? Maybe a therapist would have some ideas for you. Or maybe you could pick the brain of the counselor that I imagine they've assigned to this child.

Prison is too good for the scum who do things like this...

Thornbird · Dec 23, 2008

The approach premrs describes is what I have seen. Hopefully she is getting all that multi-disciplinary suport she needs. I would go ahead and give a couple of things, maybe the bear or something to hug and the journal, but don't go overboard.

You absolutely must keep yourself under control emotionally when you are with her. Talking to Employee Assistance or a therapist yourself would be wise since this is obviously bringing up your own pain. I have shared personal things with patients over the years. Even therpaists sometimes share personal stories to demonstrate empathy. In this case, I would discuss it first with the child's social worker or counselor. If they think you should share with her, they can help you plan what and how much to say. Obviously, you wouldn't share every detail. But, it may possibly help her to see that someone has survived something like this. A victim of a abuse feels so alone, as though nobody else could be going through what they are. That's what survivors groups are all about. But, don't do it without talking it out with a therapist or social worker first. Don't do it if there's any possibility you can't do it with a positive spin.

I don't sense that you are thinking of saying anything that would add your own issues to her burden. It takes a lot to overcome what you have. I pray that this child may also survive and have a positive life as you have.

mannurse65 · Dec 23, 2008

It is a very difficult situation, and I feel for you. There should be agencies/people to help:

Sexual Assault Nurses, Child Protective Services, Councilors, Patient advocates.

I agree that every thing you chart needs to be clear, correct, and without bias.

Do not underestimate your presence as a healing/comforting element, but I would also be

sensitive to the patients perception of physical contact.

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Dec 23, 2008

Eye contact/kind words and a tender touch will go along way...god bless you for taking good care of her.
I just can not imagine, my heart is breaking just thinking of this situation. Maybe she cant have visitors as her parents are in lock up for killing the monster that did this to her. Thats probably where I would be.
-make sure ALL you documentation is deatiled and perfect...as it will most likely be used in a court case.

Agree wholeheartedly with the above..lots of eye contact, soft spoken kind words, a light touch.. she needs reassurance above all. Don't force your good will on her.. keep it simple but genuine. I'd try hard not to let her see you upset.. you must stay calm, strong, positive, and reassuring.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, and sorrier by far for this poor innocent child. Heart breaking, indeed.

Batman24 · Dec 23, 2008

How anyone can hurt an innocent child like this is beyond me. Scum of the earth. My heart breaks for her and all the other children that are battered and abused.

She is a lucky little girl to have such a wonderful and compassionate nurse. I think a stuffed animal to hold in what must be a very lonely time would be a lovely gift. And a journal should do wonders as well. I'd gladly have sent a gift as well.

Bring in as much support as you can...clergy, rape crisis, etc. She needs as much love and support as she can get. I hope they figure this mess out soon so good family and friends can visit this child. In the meantime lots of smiles, kind talk, high fives and praise will go a long way.

rph3664 · Dec 23, 2008

Eye contact/kind words and a tender touch will go along way...god bless you for taking good care of her.
I just can not imagine, my heart is breaking just thinking of this situation. Maybe she cant have visitors as her parents are in lock up for killing the monster that did this to her. Thats probably where I would be.
I only ever had 1 rape pt---make sure ALL you documentation is deatiled and perfect...as it will most likely be used in a court case.

Or, more likely, if her parents are locked up, they're the ones who did it in the first place.

:crying2:

racing-mom4, BSN, RN · Dec 23, 2008

Or, more likely, if her parents are locked up, they're the ones who did it in the first place.

I am sure your right--but I just cant even wrap my mind around that one.

indigo girl · Dec 23, 2008

When we deal w/a situation like this, imho, we need to move around our own righteous anger and sadness in order to help the patient. Focus on her--if you're falling apart, weeping, how does that help her? If there's an incident in our past that this little girl reminds us of, deal w/it, but not in front of her.
Social service, psychiatry, child life team should all be involved to help her express and cope w/her feelings. They can provide the emotional support she needs, and support the nursing staff, too. They can give you ideas of activities for her. She needs play time, learning time--time to do something fun and distracting.
Art supplies are good, hand held games, board games if someone can play w/her. The assignments should be arranged to provide her w/"primaries", a team that she sees consistently.
Best wishes.

Exactly. There should be experienced therapists and child psychiatrists working with this child, as well as talking to the staff about how to care for her. No one can be expected to know what to say or do regarding this kind of trauma without some guidance. Your hospital needs to provide this care or transfer her to a place that can.

karmil · Dec 23, 2008

This is why I am an advocate of Life without parole for child rapist or the death penalty. I have seen what sexually abused children end up dealing with. I saw a mother of 8 KNOW her husband was raping 7 of the children (males and females) on a regular basis! He went to prison for a mere 17 years and she got off scott free!! When the creep got out of jail, one of the sons, now grown, committed suicide. My husband was the Prision Chaplian at the time of the creeps arrest and he told my husband he had the RIGHT to do ANYTHING he wanted to HIS children! He too was a victim of abuse. So the beat goes on. WHEN do we stand up and DEMAND a CHANGE in child predator laws? WHO better to do it than NURSES who SEE the damage? Jessica's law should be in EVERY STATE!!!