My 9 year old patient was raped and required surgery

[ssouthernyankee]

I currently have a 9 year old girl I am taking care of on unit. She was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. As I change her sheets and such I just don't know what to do. I cry everytime I walk in there. I just want to hold her. She isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. My heart is breaking. Any advice?

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

Another question, would it be unprofessional for me to share some very vague details about my own experience to help her know she's not alone and that healing is possible? I just don't know what to do but I have to do something. I am beginning to rethink my career at this point.

I would refrain from sharing anything personal with this poor girl. Besides it being a boundary issue, she might mention it to someone else, and it could end up in the public court process. There could also be other unanticipated consequences of blurring your boundaries with her.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

{{{{ssouthernyankee and her little patient}}}}

I don't know what you can share.

[ssouthernyankee]

Rehab nurse for some reason I can't find your PM I haven't been real active on this site still figuring it out. I found private messages but it was empty thanks

[ssouthernyankee]

I would refrain from sharing anything personal with this poor girl. Besides it being a boundary issue, she might mention it to someone else, and it could end up in the public court process. There could also be unanticipated consequences of blurring your boundaries with her.

Thanks, I've thought of that as well. Just wanting to comfort somehow I guess.

[Euskadi1946]

Because I'm a health care coordinator for kids in foster care, I deal with this on a daily basis.

Just do what you have been doing and be there for her. Kids have really bad trust issues after something like this happens to them and when they feel safe enough they will start opening up about

what happened. Chances are that you have gained her trust and she may open up to you. Be sure to document word for word what she tells you. I think you are doing a great job taking care of her.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

I was molested by a babysitter once, and that was bad enough. SouthernYankee, I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like this, no child should, especially something as brutal as this.

[iamablonde, BSN, RN]

I have absolutely no words of wisdom regarding this situation however you are both in my thoughts and prayers. I am sitting here shocked and disgusted than anyone could do such a horrible thing to a child, and yet, I know that this happens all the time. I can't imagine trading places with you right now. I wish you strength and courage to care for her the way she deserves to be cared for. I hope to god that little girl gets justice. I will pray for her and for you, her nurse and all others who come into contact with such horrific circumstances. God Bless.

[ssouthernyankee]

At your places of work are there rules about gift giving to patients? I don't even want to ask before I do it because if I'm told no I will end up getting myself in trouble.

[ybstressed, LVN]

I use to work a facility for sexually abused children. These children lived in dorm type setting (same sex houses) and where children that where not up for adoption due to extreme behavior problems. These children had severe behavior problems due to the sexual and other types of abuse. I can’t stress to you how much a smile, hug, and your caring presence is making a difference. The journal is an excellent idea. For all our children journals where provided with a lock to ensure that there thoughts where kept secret. Each child had a lovie that they kept with them also. The small things matter.

Just to give you a little hope…. There was one specific child (6 y/o) that I felt drawn too. Her parents (mother and father) sexually abused her on a regular basis. She also had a brother that they where abusing also, and as a result of their abuse, he started to abuse her also. This child was very withdrawn and was often terrified of everyone. When she came to the home she attempted to abuse the other children because that’s all she knew. She was a very…very…cute little girl and my first instinct was to say hello and hug her and show her I cared. She wanted nothing to do with that so I started small with a smile, respecting her space, and showing her that I was trust worthy and cared. She quickly warmed up to me and she even made me a ceramic angel as a gift…..she made the angle look like me! This child learned to love and be loved the correct way at the home and was soon adopted by loving caring parents. All takes is a warm smile and a caring touch to let her know she is safe.

[pielęgniarka, RN]

I can't decide if I'm filled with rage, sadness, disgust or empathy.

I'm so sorry and horrified anyone has to go through something like that.

Is there a counselor or social worker or clergy member you can talk to

at work? They might have some sound advice for you.

I'll be praying for a good physical recovery for the little girl and for

emotional healing.

[Anxious Patient]

Sexual child abuse is horrendous enough, but the brutal rape of a 9 year old leaves me speachless. How could she ever lead a normal life after this. I hope that monster gets vigilante justice. What a heart breaking story.

[ssouthernyankee]

I can't decide if I'm filled with rage, sadness, disgust or empathy.

I'm so sorry and horrified anyone has to go through something like that.

Is there a counselor or social worker or clergy member you can talk to

at work? They might have some sound advice for you.

I'll be praying for a good physical recovery for the little girl and for

emotional healing.

I go back in for shift tonight. I am going to look into finding our chaplain to talk to. Thank you.