Leave you family for nursing?? - page 3

Hypothetical question....If you've tried for 3+ to get into nursing school (grades are great but it's so competitive in your area) would you apply for a program out of state? You are married with 3 kids. Hubby's not interested in... Read More

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    I was separated from my family for 6 months towards the end of my schooling. It's a long story, but to make it shorter, my spouse is military and got orders to move. We discussed it at length, prayed and made the decision for my spouse and children to move to the new duty station while I rented a room. The bottom line is even with a super supportive spouse and finances that allowed this, nursing school is extremely hard. If you, your children and husband have a great support network, that makes a difference. If not, seriously consider the impact of very hard days at clinical/classes and not having your spouse there for support. Also, CrunchRN has some valid points. Only you and your family can decide what is right for you.
    We made it through and are stronger for it-but not every family/relationship makes it through such a separation. Our two teenage children suffered quite a bit-I won't go into details other than to say one of my children was being beaten at school almost every day and I didn't know it because I spent 10-12 hours per day at school in classes and then studying in the library afterwards..... Unfortunately, this was the least of what happened in my absence. In hindsight, if I had known this was going to happen, I would have postponed my schooling until the kids graduated. Having said that, we were stationed on the opposite coast from where our families and friends live, so, we didn't have that support network. Anyway, blessings on making the choice that is right for YOU and YOUR family
    jtmarcy12, Dezy, not.done.yet, and 1 other like this.

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    Nope. Moving the kids and then moving them back is a bad idea.
    jtmarcy12 and Fiona59 like this.
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    Nursing school in itself seems to cause marital issues even without the distance. My classmates and I all agree that our significant others "just don't get it", especially when it comes to the time commitment that nursing school requires. Other nursing students are the only ones who can understand your stress, exhaustion, messy house, seemingly random emotional breakdowns, the list goes on. My nursing program is considered "part time" credit hour wise, but its anything but! With classes, clinicals, studying, paperwork, etc I probably spend 8-12 hours a day on school, including weekends. That has put a ton of stress on my marriage. I have to remind myself and my husband when we are arguing that school is only temporary and we both have to make some sacrifices so that I can make it through. And, I am doing it for BOTH of us, not just myself.
    FecesOccurs and jtmarcy12 like this.
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    I saw marriages and relationships break up during nursing school.. Thought my relationship was strong because my partner was supportive.. Well a week after graduation we broke up.. And I will honestly say the stresses and time nursing school takes is a big reason for our breakup. I say go for your dreams because even though I miss my ex I would not do it any other way cause I'm a nurse. As far as moving.. I think that's a decision the couple has to make.
    anotherone likes this.
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    I say no also. Family first.
    jtmarcy12 likes this.
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    Quote from litebrightgirl
    Now here's another question to throw into the mix. What about those who go to med school? They do this all the time and no one really says anything. Is it a double standard for nurses?? Just playing devil's advocate....
    Medical School leads to many divorces, even when the couple still lives together. They may do it all the time, but very often no good comes of it as far as their relationship is concerned.

    It might be better if both halves of the couple are in med school, so they both know what the deal is, and neither will (hopefully) be very demanding of the other. Still, with so much time spend not focusing on the relationship, it's difficult.

    Nursing school may be hard, but it ain't med school.
    anotherone likes this.
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    I'm sort of it the same situation studentnurse50 was in. I live in Vegas, and hubby got a job in Ky. It's a much better job, and one he couldn't say no to. we talked about it and decided he'd move there and I'd stay in Vegas and finish nursing school. I have 2 semesters left. This semester I have my kids with me. I have my niece here to help me. The kids will be moving back with him after Christmas. It wasn't an easy decision for us to come to, but our 4th semester is brutal and I am not sure I could pass it with my kids here and my hubby gone, even with the help I have. We have survived military deployments, and I'm positive we can survive this. That being said, I don't think I'd move away for 3 years for school. I'd wait until a spot opened up at wherever I lived with my hubby and kids.
    jtmarcy12 likes this.
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    Med school, residency etc. is WAY different than nursing school. At least in my world it is. Can't comprehend comparing the two.
    jtmarcy12 likes this.
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    It depends on the relationship. Would I do it? Yes, without a care in the world. But others would not. Military families spend significant amounts of time apart all the time. It is hard and one will have to be very aware of how hard it will be and have a plan in place. But breaks between semesters should result in the ability to return home for a while and regroup. Three years is not that long. Just my .02.
    anotherone likes this.
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    Quote from litebrightgirl
    Hypothetical question....If you've tried for 3+ to get into nursing school (grades are great but it's so competitive in your area) would you apply for a program out of state? You are married with 3 kids. Hubby's not interested in moving because of his job (no you're not having marital issue). The kids would go with you. You'd be able to move in with family and live rent free. Would you do it???
    NOPE FAMILY comes first in my opinion/ my husband's aunt took ... get this 10years to become a Teacher ( she didn't want a single school loan) and she had 3 kids and a husband... but like she said ... I'm not willing to lose my husband or a full time father to my children for my dreams.. there is always a way to do both as long as you have the motivation and you want something real bad.. it would work out .

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