Leave you family for nursing??

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Hypothetical question....If you've tried for 3+ to get into nursing school (grades are great but it's so competitive in your area) would you apply for a program out of state? You are married with 3 kids. Hubby's not interested in moving because of his job (no you're not having marital issue). The kids would go with you. You'd be able to move in with family and live rent free. Would you do it???

Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, Neurology, Rehab.

Ask how many men or women were still married to the same person after they finished med school?

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
Seriously? Not in a million years.

To be frank, I can't imagine anyone thinking working as a nurse trumps having one's family to go home to every day.

Then again, I suppose there are those who don't mind ruining their marriages, getting a divorce, hurting their children. Seems intensely selfish to me....and I'm just not one of them.

What a bizarre jump to conclusions and ridiculously harsh way to look at this. There is just as much chance the marriage will be fine and the children will thrive. Good grief. Do you think all military families are ruining their marriages and hurting their children?

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If nursing school was that competitive in my area I would simply choose another program. There are good jobs in other fields as well.

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What a bizarre jump to conclusions and ridiculously harsh way to look at this. There is just as much chance the marriage will be fine and the children will thrive. Good grief. Do you think all military families are ruining their marriages and hurting their children?

No "bizarre jump to conclusions" in the least. Or haven't you heard that long-term separation of a husband and wife causes marital rifts more often than not? "Just as much chance the marriage will be fine"? No, THAT would be a jump to a conclusion. Purposefully separating children from their father is supposed to do them GOOD, then, in your opinion? I think the jump to conclusions would be that they'd "thrive" with this separation.

I wasn't speaking of military families, who are aware of the expectations of family separations in advance of even getting married. Who plan for such separations and do so because of reasons of duty to one's country, etc etc. I was speaking about a singular situation (hypothetical, I believe?) in which a wife and mother might decide to leave her husband behind for three years while taking their children to another State because she really really wants to go to nursing school. Not even in the same ballpark as military duty, IMHO.

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Specializes in kids.

I say no....having been a single mother forever, (not by choice, by death) I can never understand it when someone would choose to do that, especialy when they have a husband and no marital problems......just my 0.02

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Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.

Another point to consider. If the student moves elsewhere to attend school because of the high number of applicants, isn't it likely that when she returns to that area she will find an equally competitive job market? And, she'll be approaching it as an outsider, having formed no local relationships in that time.

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Specializes in Med/surg, Quality & Risk.
Hypothetical question....If you've tried for 3+ to get into nursing school (grades are great but it's so competitive in your area) would you apply for a program out of state? You are married with 3 kids. Hubby's not interested in moving because of his job (no you're not having marital issue). The kids would go with you. You'd be able to move in with family and live rent free. Would you do it???

Oh yeah, I knew a girl who did that so she could go to law school. She came home every weekend to spend time with her daughter, even. As soon as she graduated he divorced her and got custody of the child. Not sure why he bothered waiting the three years if that's what he was gonna do.

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Well, I sympathize with the OP because I am in a similiar perdicament. In my area jobs are hard to come by so I choose nursing because of the interest and availability of jobs in my local area. I was in a nursing program but was unprepared for the clinical skills so I failed out of the first semester. The only other choices in my area are expensive private ADN programs that charge 25-45K for a degree. Many of the schools know this area is economically depressed, and that nursing pay liveable wadges in my area, so they charge high amounts of tuition.

My recommendation to the OP is to only relocate if its a public schools offering a BSN or ADN/BSN combination. Otherwise its not really worth it.

Also to the various people I see posting that there are other areas which pay as well as a ADN/BSN are sadly mistaken. If you live in a right to work state your job choices are severly limited. Health-care is the only stable industry in my area. Plus compare how much the first year of Bachelor Degree earnings to nursing. You will be surprised that nursing outranks most with the exception of engineering or maybe a few IT specialities. Plus any advanced school requires a Bachelors and GRE scores. Getting a BSN allows many to transition to a professional school.

To the OP what other choices do you have?

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Specializes in Psych.

What about looking into an online program? I'm not sure how I feel about online RN programs, to be honest - but they exist... University of Texas at Arlington has a completely online BSN with clinicals in your area through their Academic partnership program. If your friend has a BS degree, an accelerated BSN program might be a good idea - they're just a year.

My husband and I were strong going into Nursing School, we had a few issues a few times... but we came out of it ok, because we went through it together. Had I left him to live with my family during nursing school, there is not a snowball's chance in the desert that I would have come back home - or that he would have come looking for me.

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This is a deeply personal decision your friend will have to make. It will strain her marriage I'm sure and it will be hard on the kids, but it can be done.

I have an 8 year old daughter. I started college when she was 5 months old. I didn't know I wanted to be a nurse until I had already earned another degree, so I didn't finish nursing school until she was almost 5 and had a sister. I gave birth to my youngest and was in clinicals two days later. It was rough but I finished.

I missed out on a lot of my oldest's early childhood. I desperately wish I could have been there to see all her milestones, but she is only 8 now and we are building a good relationship now. I have regrets, but looking back, I don't think I would have changed anything.

Nursing saved us when my marriage fell apart due to domestic violence, we fled 1800 miles and I was able to find a job within days. It wasn't my dream job, but it saved us from the going back the statistical 7-20 times before most women finally end the relationship.

Everyone's story is their own. The OP's friend will write her story and whatever happens will happen exactly as it should. I wish her wisdom in the decisions she will need to make, but none of us can decide for her...

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I would not do it and would consider another career option in the medical field if I didn't want to wait for acceptance.

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