Why are nurses such back-stabbers? - page 7

Why do nurses feel the need to "tattle" on colleagues to the boss for petty things? Behavior like this does nothing to elevate our profession and everything to keep us down. Why are there some... Read More

  1. by   Tweety
    Quote from sabby_nc
    so sad really.
    i am just so blessed to work in a predominantly female hospice organization who truly do care about each other. if one rn is having a busy day with her case load one of us is more than happy to pick up a patient.
    we would not survive in our job if we did not have the love and support of each other.
    i believe our organization works well and this extends from the top down.
    our managers are so supportive. even our busy days we still manage to smile and 'egg' each other on.
    it is no wonder we have people knocking our doors down for a job.
    we have a monthly meeting where awards are given out to deserved members such as the attitude and gratitude award etc. we also have a 12 member team ( picked out at each monthly meeting ) to present some kind of fun, team building skit etc.
    you, yourself, can make a change if you are prepared to.
    change your attitude, be bright and supportive, i wonder how that would rub off eh?
    from one happy contented rn.:icon_biggrin:


    i have a friend that just started working for hospice. he says he feels like he's working for disney world the people are so happy. there goes the myth that chromosomes are the problem.

    i think the key is the organization makes a financial committment to their employees through positive reinforcement, counseling, team building etc. most other environments are more about cutting costs, making nurses run short, and not caring about fixing toxic environments when human beings turn catty.
  2. by   West_Coast_Ken
    Quote from epiphany
    How do you think we can change a situation by blaming an epidemic behavior on an X chromosome?
    Recognizing an issue is the first step in dealing with it, that's how.

    And for the record, I did not ever use the words "blaming", "epidemic behavior" or "X chromosome."
  3. by   PeachPie
    I believe that there is pettiness in both genders, but that they present themselves in different ways. Gaining favor in a work environment is a resource. I once read that males compete for power, while females compete for resources. I've seen it in chickens, I've read studies of chimpanzees exhibiting it, and I've seen it in humans all my life. It's no secret that males compete for power, and they will get power trips, wage internal wars, and play their perceived vassals like chess pieces. However, women are the weaker sex and cannot be so overt about their takeovers. Furthermore, a woman is seen as a *itch if she is direct about what she wants. Therefore, women are more discreet and less confrontational about things.
  4. by   meownsmile
    Wow what a thread,,although i dont agree tha women are the "weaker sex",, males and females are brought up differently, to react differently. I dont believe that women are nonconfrontational. Usually its women who will get things done when there are discrepancies and problems surrounding family, work, banking whatever. The difference seems to be that women/girls tend to solve problems with words, men/boys are taught that its ok to solve problems physically. You can go to any gradeschool and see two boys fighting about something, when the fights over, usually the situation is resolved and its done. Give two girls the same siutation/confrontation and because they tend to use words,, it lingers on and on and on. I think this is just the social/behavioral conditioning we all have gone through for decades. The question is when do we as adults recognize it and acknowledge it and learn how to change it. It may change but not overnight, we just have to remember to keep our thoughts and our words separate sometimes. I tell my teenage girls all the time,, just because you think it doesnt mean it has to spill out when you open your mouth.
  5. by   Little Panda RN
    I have worked with some men who loved to gossip and that has only been since I have been in the medical field. When I was in the military I worked in a male squadron with the exception of me and the commanders secretary. I never heard any gossip from the men who worked there.

    It is my personal opinion that women love to gossip. I see and hear it all the time. One of my co-workers tried to talk about me behind my back and I came upon the conversation. I politely told her that if she has a problem with me she should let me know so that we may work it out, her mouth dropped open and she apologized. I do not like gossip, nor do I gossip, it is so high school.

    Men and women alike are born with the gossip gene . It is what you decide to do with it that counts!
  6. by   epiphany
    Quote from West_Coast_Ken
    Recognizing an issue is the first step in dealing with it, that's how.

    And for the record, I did not ever use the words "blaming", "epidemic behavior" or "X chromosome."
    Do you want women who don't feel that it applies to them to admit to it? Does your version of a productive dialogue include "recognizing an issue" that you deem to be fact? You mention in your earlier post, even women agree with you. Well, I am a woman, and I don't agree with you. Yes, recognizing a fact is a good thing, but you don't get to decide what is fact.

    Do you know the difference between "recognizing an issue" with a defeatist attitude towards women?
  7. by   PeachPie
    Pardon, they are the PHYSICALLY WEAKER sex who couldn't muscle their way around like men could.
  8. by   Sabby_NC
    Quote from Tweety
    I have a friend that just started working for Hospice. He says he feels like he's working for Disney World the people are so happy. There goes the myth that chromosomes are the problem.

    I think the key is the organization makes a financial committment to their employees through positive reinforcement, counseling, team building etc. Most other environments are more about cutting costs, making nurses run short, and not caring about fixing toxic environments when human beings turn catty.

    Amen to that Tweety. I did have to have a laugh at the Disney World comment but heck it works for me..I totally agree with your comments. Our organization is very much based on positive reinforcement and team building. Even though we are all Case Managers ( working autonomously ) we still very much work as a team. There is the secret right there.
  9. by   Multicollinearity
    Maybe some people in general are back-stabbers. And some people are nurses. And some environments are conducive towards encouraging negative behavior. And so it goes.

    I used to work in an all-male office except for me. Many of them were back-stabbing gossipers. So this isn't exclusive to women, or nurses.
  10. by   royr
    Quote from PeachPie
    Pardon, they are the PHYSICALLY WEAKER sex who couldn't muscle their way around like men could.
    Not always true - if you had the opportunity to work with some of the ladys in prison like I have you would have a healthy respect - many have killed men with their bare hands and teeth and sit in jail to tell about it. Welcome to the new age of steriods and fitness training folks - the old steriotypes die hard I know - but things have in fact changed.
  11. by   GardenDove
    Quote from multicollinarity
    Maybe some people in general are back-stabbers. And some people are nurses. And some environments are conducive towards encouraging negative behavior. And so it goes.

    I used to work in an all-male office except for me. Many of them were back-stabbing gossipers. So this isn't exclusive to women, or nurses.
    I've read statistics that men actually gossip more than women. Before nursing I worked in a cabinet shop. Men gossip, but I do think they work better as a team. I switched from an all female unit to one with all men on nights, and it's been a welcome change.
  12. by   West_Coast_Ken
    Quote from epiphany
    ...that you deem to be fact...recognizing a fact...
    This is now the second misquote from you regarding what I said.

    I never, ever said this issue is "fact." This is my observation and my opinion and I know you don't like it nor do you agree with it and that is fine. But please do not put words into my posts.
  13. by   IMustBeCrazy
    Quote from crb613
    i think this depends on your personality & insecurity. gender?? i don't know about that...i have seen plenty of males do the same thing. i personally don't care what anyone does as long as the pt is safe, & their actions do put anyone else in jeopardy. i also think a lot of people set themselves up for gossip....i am just what you see & i don't give a hoot what anyone thinks. just my
    amen!

    yes, we all know gossip is unkind and not professional. however.....it is also equally unkind and unprofessional for me to know things such as:

    - the last time you had sex with your husband

    - your illicit affairs

    - how you drool over the sick ladies husband every time she comes in for a surgery

    - how many piercings you have in your nether regions

    and so on....

    it truly amazes me how many have diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain, yet are the first to become offended when their unsolicited stories become fodder for the gossip mill.

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