When a pt "gets" to you

Nurses Relations

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Specializes in orthopedic/trauma, Informatics, diabetes.

I had an experience this past weekend that has kind of taken me by surprise.

I had a pt that is very ill. large supportive family around, oldest child very nice. I spent a lot of time caring for this pt (pt still here) and was finally getting a chance to catch up on charting of my other 4 pts. youngest sibling called and wanted me to come to room, i didn't go immediately, we were short aides so you never know if it is something urgent, or "I need a drink". Family would not say what they needed. I did go in a reasonable amount of time (

Just wondering if anyone else has had this happen.

Thanks for listening.

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Sorry this happen to you.:(

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Specializes in Pharmaceutical Research, Operating Room.

Never had that happen with a patient, but sometimes something will make me think of my dad, or remind me of him, and it catches me completely off guard. I'm so sorry this happened to you...

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

I have no words for you. I'm so, so very sorry. I can't imagine your pain, and no, I don't think it's strange that this happened. Sometimes a person's choice of words just strike a nerve. Grief is a funny beast.

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OP, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mom.

Also, yes. Once a dying 19 year old yelled at me for forgetting his colace and I cried for almost a 1/2 hour- and I was not a newbie, had to be at least 12 years in at the time.

Some days are just harder than others.

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Specializes in Hospice.

My first death visit for Hospice happened on the one year anniversary of my mom's death.

The patient was a sweet LOL with severe respiratory/cardiac issues who just wanted to die at home, surrounded by friends and family, who were all as wonderful as she was.

I held it together until I got two blocks away, then had to pull over to cry.

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Specializes in ICU.

That sounds very tough. I think sometimes we are are bit vulnerable on shift as our emotions are pulled in different directions so something can slip under our guard and hit home harder than normal. What you describe hasn't happened to me but I can see how that would hurt and I feel for you.

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Specializes in orthopedic/trauma, Informatics, diabetes.

It is just so frustrating that they don't see what you have been doing for their family member when they AREN'T there and you think it is all right to step away for a while because they are there to visit or tend to them a little. I sat at the nurse's station almost my whole shift, when I wasn't passing meds or doing other tasks so I could watch her and another one that I was concerned about. I don't think I ate lunch until about 1430 THEN I was asked to stay an extra 4 hours b/c they were short staffed for a total of a 16 hour shift.

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In this scenario, OP I think you should have told them your personal story. Knock the wind out of her sail, so to speak, without crossing the line.

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In this scenario, OP I think you should have told them your personal story. Knock the wind out of her sail, so to speak, without crossing the line.

Ugh, no.

I think OP handled it fine.

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Specializes in Critical Care and ED.

If it helps, the family in question are probably experiencing a similar pain. Everyone handles it differently and the stress is obviously getting to them. When people are under intense duress they often lash out. This was nothing to do with you. It could have been anybody. I'm sure he feels terrible about it. Humans are flawed and no one prepares you for loss. It's something we all have to learn how to deal with and it's not an easy thing. I'm sorry for your loss. You did a fine job and you're doing your best.

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Specializes in ICU.

"If she were my Mother I would understand that her nurse has five other patients who are just as sick and that she is doing the best that she can."

Sometimes you have to keep it real.

If you spend an excessive amount of time with a patient they will expect constant attention and impose on you for trivial matters. Be respectful but do not socialize. Work efficiently so that they have realistic expectations of your ability to spend time with them. This is self preservation and teaching people how to treat you.

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