Tired of hearing about the kids.

OCNRN63, RN · Jan 30, 2012

I have to admit that there are some women I know who have bragged about not having children, and I couldn't help but think "Thank God." Some of them I wouldn't want to care for a stray dog. However, I don't think that of everyone who decides not to have children.
I once had a manager who was in her 40s and never had any children. She loved to brag (the same way people annoyingly brag about their children) about how she had no kids so she could buy all the nice clothes and vacations she wanted. She all but said that pregnant women's brains were inferior to everyone else's. She assumed that pregnant women had poorer job performance before she would have chance to see how a certain pregnant woman would perform on the job (we were doing customer service on the phone: not exactly busting rocks).
But what everyone found out about her is that she would never have a child because she demanded all the attention of her husband and father. Everything was about her. We thought it was funny/odd that she bragged so about not having children but attempted to micro-manage and treat everyone like a child that supervised.
I am not saying that about anyone in this thread. I do not know you personally. But there are some women who have told me they didn't want children, and I thought that was best for all involved (or unborn).

Fair enough, but know that there are those of us who don't have children due to circumstances or choice who get really, really sick of being bullied by "The Mommies." Someone needs to stay late? Oh, let "Linda" do it...she doesn't have kids. One of "The Mommies" has to work a holiday? "Why can't 'Angie' work? She's not married and she doesn't have kids."

We get it. We single people who don't have kids are defective...but somehow, good enough to cover when "Betty Sue's" kid is sick.

Ever try to get someone with kids to reciprocate when you do them a favor and now you need someone to swap a w/e or holiday? LOLOL.

Merlyn · Jan 30, 2012

Fair enough, but know that there are those of us who don't have children due to circumstances or choice who get really, really sick of being bullied by "The Mommies." Someone needs to stay late? Oh, let "Linda" do it...she doesn't have kids. One of "The Mommies" has to work a holiday? "Why can't 'Angie' work? She's not married and she doesn't have kids."
We get it. We single people who don't have kids are defective...but somehow, good enough to cover when "Betty Sue's" kid is sick.
Ever try to get someone with kids to reciprocate when you do them a favor and now you need someone to swap a w/e or holiday? LOLOL.

I had a job once where I worked every holiday because'I don't have kids.' I worked there only one year. I couldn't take the women that had kids, coming to me and saying 'How was your holiday?'

Raven Sierra, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2012

I totally agree, OP.

FWIW, "The Mommies" are bad everywhere, including for stay-at-home or work-at-home moms. I just don't get it.

I'm a mom. I love, love, love my kids; they are lights of my life. I think most things they do are adorable (some aren't, let's just be real here), and I could look at pictures of them for hours. But that's me - I'm their mom. The only people who rival my obsession with them are their father and their grandparents. Yes, we, their parents and grandparents, all could have hours of discussion over what S or E did today. And we have.

But what I totally don't get is when The Mommies start these discussions and expect the rest of us to be equally enthralled. I'm so happy that little Timmy got straight A's. Good for him! But I don't want to have an hour-long dissertation on his achievements since the hospital nursery, complete with pictures from your iPhone. I especially don't want to have these discussions when I'm nose-deep in my A&P book at the playground. My not-so-subtle "Well, I've got to study; I've got a horrid test coming up" didn't make the slightest difference because I needed to hear what Timmy did when he was 18 months old. Great.... :rolleyes:

It's like it's a competition - that, somehow, bragging about the kid's exploits from birth onward will make The Mommy a better mother. Or raise her status as "Involved Mom" in the eyes of her peers. I swear it's like the Olympics sometimes (and equally cutthroat). In my experience, The Mommies are either moms with something to prove (like assuaging mommy-guilt), or it's extreme self-absorption. Or both.

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Feb 1, 2012

It's so annoying. Can we have some adult conversation?

As a single guy in nursing, I have found a fantastic tool for getting along: I pretend to be enthralled by pregnancies and kid stories.

For the record, I don't find pregnancy and childbirth fascinating and it is certainly no miracle.

However, everyone else sure does, so I play along. I go to baby showers and bring gifts and big smiles. I look, listen, and "ooh" and "aaahh" when the pics come out or they actually bring the little crapping droolers on the unit. I also have some baby stories of my nephews at the ready when needed.

For this, my breeding coworkers adore me and we get along great in every other area.

It's worth it.

berrien · Dec 8, 2013

I am so tired of not only hearing about grandchildren, but having phones shoved in my face to see pictures of them doing things like...eating mashed potatoes for the first time, hearing them babble, seeing video of them rolling/crawling across the floor. Seriously, I have kids and loved to watch them grow. Kids are awesome. But holy cow, don't distract me from my job with this stuff, and expect me to drop my jaw in awe of normal, developmental things. I have patients to take care of, and don't want any distractions to cause me to make a mistake, or forget what I was going to do next.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Dec 8, 2013

"Send that to my email! So I can enjoy it later when I am not overloaded with patients"

Then spam, trash, whatever at will.

I agree, between my own 3 kids, being an involved auntie of 12, I am mostly all set at work. However, on my own time, I will look at your pics on social media, hit like and move on.....or on my email if I don't social media with the person....

ComeTogether, LPN · Dec 8, 2013

Got any cats? Start whipping out pictures of fluffy and foo foo and maybe they'll leave you alone?

cardiacfreak, ADN · Dec 8, 2013

What I hate the most is when they say, "Isn't he/she the cutest thing you've ever seen?" But, the kid is really NOT the cutest thing you've ever seen. :no:

exit96 · Dec 8, 2013

This is my favorite thread I have read!!!! I agree with the OP and the replies of the like. I would love to chime in, but I am a male and have been roundly chastised when I have brought this up before on THiS site. Knee jerk reaction that I was a male and blah blah blah....I was even told to get out of nursing because "that's the way women are, and that is what they talk about, blah blah blah...."

So, keep the thread going, it is nice to know the truth about how we all feel about this behavior.

Mulan · Dec 8, 2013

I don't know why this bothers me. Probably because I spend five days a week working my butt off in an pediatric emergency room and I am tired! Here is what bothers me.
We started out with full time nurses who worked really hard. Then they all decided at the age of 40 that they wanted to return to school to be FNP's. Fine. Your entitled to enrich your life. Most of them went part time and some PRN. For those who decided to not return to school decided to get pregnant. Every year. Again. Fine. I don't have to take care of them, so have as many kids as you would like. Here in lies the problem. I have kids of my own. I see 200 crying children a day. The ONE day a month you decide to come to work, all you want to do is talk about your kids, show pictures and videos. Try working or picking up patients. I am overloaded with kids and do not want to see your videos. People need to realize, just because YOU enjoy your kids and their every milestone, does not mean your co-workers want to as well. How do you tell your once a month, or 8 hour a week co-worker that you dont want to hear anything about their kids? An occasional picture is OK. But these people are overloading us with pictures and videos. It's so annoying. Can we have some adult conversation?

Don't you know?

The only reason some nurses go to work is to socialize.

Some even admit it.

JustKeepDriving · Dec 8, 2013

I love this thread. I'm one of the only individuals on my unit that doesn't have kids. I don't want them. EVER. I have many, many, many reasons for not taking the plunge into parenthood. I'm in the late 20's early 30's age range and get asked every day by coworkers and float staff if I have kids. When I tell them I've made the decision not to have children, they try to convince me that I have totally made the wrong decision and will change my mind. Some of them as far to say, "Accidents can happen." To which I respond, "Yep, and I am pro-choice for a reason." Oh does that get me a look of scorn.

I'm glad that people choose to have kids. I'm fine to listening to their kids stories a little bit. However, It really annoys me when the topic of kids is the content of 99% of conversations on the unit - and then it all turns into trying to convince the nurse that doesn't want kids to have kids. Screw that.

So now I just talk about my weight lifting routine, places that I've traveled to, concerts that I get to go to on a Saturday night, newest TV that I bought, a new craft beer that I tried ect. whenever someone starts going on to long about their kids. Eventually they figure out that I'm totally not interested.

sistrmoon, BSN, RN · Dec 8, 2013

I've been one of those super part time nurses for about a year(stepping my hours up now though to help pay for expenses for the house we just bought.) I actually never bring up my kids at work but everyone asks me every time I work! I don't carry my phone on me at work(I think it's too distracting and inappropriate,) but people beg me to pull up pictures and videos at work of my kids. These are people who are on my Facebook and get to see my annoying stream of kid centered posting already. So there's the other side:) Honestly, work is the only time I get to feel like I'm really using my brain and skills, interacting with adults, etc. I love my kids but I'd rather talk about nursing.