Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

[General E. Speaking, RN]

Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

[SamiRN]

My kids are grown and I am not a "kid" person...I know that sounds mean...but its true. I love my boys more than the world but I do not want to hear about the wonderful witty things your 2 year old said while he was going potty or how many outfits your little girl had to try on so she'd be the cutest little thing at the play....I also dont want to see all the pics.

I know, I sound mean, really I am not. The conversations just bore me to tears!

I would love to walk around the corner and confront the lazy staff member that complains that agency is lazy, meanwhile she has spent 45 minutes gossiping at the nurses desk, while I am running around like a nut and havent had a break since I started 8 hours earlier. Just once Id love to say" If your organization could get rid of lazy people like you, they wouldn't need us" or simply "no wonder no one wants to work here."

Also, I smile all the time, or try to. In passing, in conversation, I try to be pleasant no matter what I am thinking inside, I would love one time to say to the woman that eats nails for breakfast,"just because your ugly doesnt mean your personality has to be too"....

Lastly..."yes you made it through med school now if you only had common sense"

God couldnt we all go on and on and on.

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Thanks for bringing your sense of humor to work with you today. It makes the day go by so much faster!

Please forgive me for not thanking you for your help today while I was busy doing 200 things at once. You deserve a dozen roses!

I am not bright enough to chart with precision and chat with you about what your kids ate last night and the resulting gastric pyrotechnics that you dealt with all night.

If you are scrubbed in and you don't get the required supplies to DO the case, you are constantly interrupting my attempts to chart in order to retrieve the items that you forgot or didn't care to get. That means I have to chart the case AFTER it is done while you are finished with your work.

Um...doc? That was not YOU nicking the bowel, it was my lunch disagreeing with me!

I know that you are a sales rep and that you are trying to make small talk. But I gotta tend to this pt who is bucking because the anesthesia provider is too busy looking up their investment portfolio to realize that the Prop pump is empty.

[sharpeimom]

you're the best psych aide i work with. you have a real gift when it comes to handling the most difficult patients, but could you please please puhleeze stop wearing that musk-laced after shave

that smells as though it costs 10c per gallon? i realize you're very young and and being sexy everywhere is a vital part of your existence, but you aren't supposed to wear scented anything while working, and secondly, it plugs me up, makes me cough and sneeze, and makes me queasy!

[WillowNMe]

Please dont call me on my day off, especially when I have picked up at least 1 shift every week for the past 2 months.

Amen. I finally had to approach our lady that does our calling... and I asked her, "Have you ever worked overnights?" she said no... I said, "From my perspective... when you tell me 'its okay to pick up that shift because you will still have two days off'... NO.. I will have one NIGHT off. It would be like me asking you to come in and work every single Saturday for the past six weeks." I always seem to be one of those "go to" people for picking up shifts - which is great! But don't be disrespectful about it... And because I say YES 8-9 times out of 10... please be respectful the 1 or 2 times I say NO!

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

To the small group of coworkers who manage to drive out many good nurses with their cattiness and bullying.....

I'm done with being PC about your lack of social skills and lack of sophistication

You really are peasants ... you have no class whatsoever.

Learn :

- how to be subtle

- how to respect differing opinions

- how to deal with information at a professional level

- basic manners eg how to interrupt when you must / how to introduce new people to others / how to say good morning and so on

- how to present a professional image.

And finally:

- Understand that negativity is really all about you. The rest of us don't believe that perpetual negativity is normal

- Understand your normalised cattiness is pathetic and speaks volumes about you. You really are a complete peasant if you think this is normal

[Mulan]

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report..

This is part of SBAR, you are supposed to be giving that information during report.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Please do not hiccup loudly and dramatically, and shout down the hall to another nurse outside the labor wing where people are hynobirthing.

Please do not walk into a new labor patient's room, loudly proclaiming "Hi! How are you all doing??" when you know they're 8-9 cm and doing a natural childbirth. Learn to quietly walk in and read the atmosphere before talking loudly.

Kthanxbai

[Riseupandnurse]

To the nurse with 6 children who always says that coming to work is such a blessing and so much fun compared to being at home: "Then why are you always out on either personal or family medical leave until it is maxed out?" Didn't say that. I apologize for getting grouchy and burnt out. When she made one of her rare work appearances I guess she deserved to say, "If you don't like it here, why don't you quit?" What I DID say: "You're right. And I already did!" Felt good, feels even better now.

[walkingrock, ADN]

To the person who wants a tediously detailed report....

Do you know how to read????

[nursel56]

To the "anything you can do I can do better" nurse ..We are not in a game of can you top this for every bleeping thing that's ever happened that anyone is ever talking about! Can somebody else just bask in the spotlight for a few minutes please?? Do you know people are starting to roll their eyes when you start in with one of your Supernurse stories? and . . . . .

Please, oh please no more shelf butt. I just want to give that scrub top a good tug in the back. (note: I am not being size-ist all weights can be offendors) :)

[Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN]

Don't tell me while I'm trying to start my med pass that a resident needs to be changed when there at 3 CNAs 20 feet away. You can tell them. They don't bite(most of the time).

I like to count narcotics and receive report asap(for both coming and going). So please be ready.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

This sure is cathartic ......

On the subject of professional image :

- Pls don't come to work with greasy hair .... even when you pull it back tight, we can still tell it's dirty

- Iron those wrinkled scrubs pls

- Don't forget your shoes should be in good condition and clean ....and no filthy laces pls

- And for the millionth time .... you need to wear buff underwear under those white pants and no other colour

- And also .... hair roots shouldn't be allowed to get so bad

- Guys ... you really do need to shave before work each day