Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

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Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

Specializes in ER.

I wouldn't let you touch my dead dog let alone any of my family members.

Where did you get your MD license?

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Specializes in PACU, OR.

"After circulating for 15 years, are you still so clueless that I have to tell you every time which drugs to take out for which anaesthetist?"

"If it's 'not your job' as a scrub RN to recover patients when you can see my hands are full, then it's not my job to correct the mistakes you made on your operation reports. Next time, you go to the ward and correct them yourself."

"Yeah, I know you're tired and frustrated, but please stop using your sick leave or family responsibility leave to give yourself a break. Your constant unscheduled absences are destroying me."

"Whether you are deliberately obtuse or not, please stop doing it on my time."

"If you can complain so loudly to your co-workers, how come you're stricken dumb during the green area meetings?"

This I HAVE said. "This ******* place drives me crazy! If it wasn't for the people I work with and love so much, warts and all, the dust of my departure would have settled years ago. They're all that keeps me here...." :redbeathe

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I wouldn't let you touch my dead dog let alone any of my family members.

Where did you get your MD license?

Bit extreme.

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Specializes in OR.

Don't care about your spoiled teenage daughter that you constantly talk about at work what a headache !!!!

Come to work with a positive attitude and leave the negative BS at home !!!!

No I don't have that specific item and no I can't pull it out of my a$$ sorry wish I could lol.

WE are short staffed because half the people you hire DON'T work so save some money and fire the L-A-Z-Y people .

Oh man srry for the negative vent , most of the people I work with I LOVE they are like my second family BUT they are some bad apples !

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
Bit extreme.

Naw - they are out there.....:smokin:

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Please dont call me on my day off, especially when I have picked up at least 1 shift every week for the past 2 months.

Please please please show up on time and ready to work

Seriously, I hate being the middle man between CNA's and office staff. Office people, thank you for answering the call bell. Since you obviously are unable to refill the patients water cup, please go find the CNA directly, instead of finding me, only to tell me to find the CNA when I am frantically busy with blood sugars.

Is ordering the correct amount of supplies really that difficult? Really, you're just ordering the same stuff over and over again (mostly)... It would make sense to know how much we are using, how quickly we use it, and try to stick with the products that work! [i dont need 100 colostomy bags and 0 colostomy bag clips... that doesnt help me]

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Specializes in L&D.

What I found mean/nasty about the OPs post was the BO comment. Perhaps the coworker needs advice on a better brand or formula. That came across as a mean girl thought, not one of oh I've worked with Sue for x amount of years and I love her dearly. If that were the case one would pull Sue to the side and say hey I use this brand from Trader Joes and it really keeps me dry. That's the portion I found mean. That's all.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I am not your Mama. Be responsible and accountable for yourself.

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Specializes in Health Information Management.

Student version:

Stop asking me for help with notes, papers, assignments, etc. a day before the given item is due and then never thanking me for my help or even acknowledging my existence (until you need something once again, that is)!!! I'm stupid enough to fall for that trick once, but never a second time.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

GREAT thread!!! Sometimes we spend more time with our work family then we do with our blood...MY TURN! Yes-I realize I can be a pain in the butt,now let me tell you something about yourself that you don't know.....STOP OVERSHARING !!!

No-one is perfect-we all know that you can't control your home life and you have "issues"so you super-control your work place, however we know you are making as many liitle mistakes as the rest of us but are way more skillful at hiding your shortcomings then we are. Probably because you are constantly "tattling" on everyone else, pointing fingers and running everyone down so you can feel better about yourself. Not an attractive trait.

And you-you are so loud and crude we can hear your voice reverberate throughout the unit and your grammar and pronounciation are atrocious.Every time you open your mouth you remove all doubt-we know you are ignorant. And I don't want to hear about your online search for Mr Right. You are going to be found chopped up in an old trash can if you are not more careful. Or a pedophile is going to move in on you and your 4 yr old granddtr..

Stop belching,farting and groaning orgasmically throughout the day for attention. It is not attractive.And checking your temp all of the time and crying about how bad you feel. If you are sick STAY HOME

And you-The Martyr-You want to do it all-go ahead.Huff and puff and grunt and groan and do it all. Just don't bytch behind our backs because we "made you" We are more then willing to be delegated to but if we step in and assert ourselves then we are trying to "steal your thunder" and you get snippy. We can't win.

Can't we all just get along? We DON'T have to be BFF's but we can show each other respect and work together towards our common goal.

If a call bell rings and you are not busy just ANSWER IT. Don't walk all the way around the unit to look for a cna when you could have taken care of it yourself.

And you-stop repeating inaccurate gossip.I like to hear some good dirt now and then but YOU NEVER get anything right..:lol2:

And you all-we usually do work together well and have a good camaraderie. Thanks for everything -Just sometimes I could smack the taste out of your mouth-because I'm having a bad day and can't stand myself.Sorry for being a butthead....

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Specializes in drug seekers and the incurably insane..

I can pick my nose on my break if I want to!!!!

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Specializes in Cardiac Care.

Yes, I am a male. I am also an RN. That means I have my own assignment, my own assessments, my own treatments, my own meds, etc. I am NOT a pack mule who can drop everything to help you lift/pull/push/turn your patient. I do so whan I am able to do so, but I cannot drop everything when you need help.

On a similar note, sometimes even I need lift help.

STOP pronouncing it O2 stat. You sound ignorant.

Don't you EVER feel well? Most days, I end up being sorry that I ask you how you are.

Your new super smart phone is very pretty. Please put it away, at least until after the lights are answered, the IV pumps stop alarming, the telemetry bank is quiet and the bed alarms are silent. Gosh, I even think there's a mandate about this.

The CA's on our floor are a gift to be treasured; we have the best. PLEASE stop barking orders at them. They know the job. Also, an occasional "please" and "thank you" will go a long way towards easing the tension between you. And yes, it's entirely possible that they hate working with you.

I don't hate you because you're pretty.

I spend a great deal of time with you. Many of you are like my family. Thank you for having my back, for teaching me to notice the subtle nuances in patient condition, for telling the best jokes, for being awesome cooks and for allowing me to be a part of your family.

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