Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 4
by AngelfireRN | 599,909 Views | 2616 Comments
:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling and hurling obscenities at me... Read More
- 120Dec 15, '07 by FlyingScotHow are you expected to pay for your blood pressure medicine Mrs. Robinson? (fake name of patient who presented to ER with HTN and prescription had run out)Do you really want me to tell you because you aren't going to like what I say. Are you sure, you really aren't going to be happy with my answer. Okay, here goes. Perhaps you would be able to afford your medication if you weren't spending $100 a month on fancy fake nails with rhinestones and airbrushed designs. And you might want to reconsider whether the $50 dollar hair-do with all the swirly things and curls is really necessary considering the fact that your out of control blood pressure is likely going to kill you. Actually said this to a patient only in a slightly nicer way. She looked at me gape-faced. Then I think she considered punching me but I really did say it in a concerned way and had given her an out if she didn't want to hear it. Her face finally relaxed as she realized that what I had said was true and actually thanked me as I walked her out the door.
My coworkers have always said that I seem to get away with saying the most outrageous, but true things to patients and I've never gotten a complaint from one of them. It started in nursing school. I put a patient on the toilet and told her to pull the cord if she needed something. Well soon enough the light went off and I heard her yelling. I ran to the room to find her standing facing the toilet with her hands on the seat. I said "are you sick?!" She said "No...wipe me" Before I could censor myself I looked at her and said "Why? Are your arms too short?"
I am a bad, bad, bad nurse:selfbonk:
- 12Dec 15, '07 by leslie :-DQuote from truerndig that.I sincerely hope that these attitudes about people with weight issues are well in check when actually dealing with those patients.
some of these posts are downright scary.
- 19Dec 15, '07 by Fuzzy"Lack of planning on your part is not an emergency on mine." (For the person who needs a health certificate and a Coggins test for a horse on Sat. because he's going out of state on Sun.)
"No seeing a tapeworm segment on your cat's rear end is not a reason for me to see you at 2:30AM." (An actual emergency call.)
"Yes it does cost $250 to spay a two year old great dane. It is 2007 not 1956, prices do go up." (To the person who thought that a spay or OVH should be only $30 on a 110# dog.)
"What part of Please turn off your cell phone don't you understand?"
"If your last vet was soooo wonderful, than why aren't you there?" (The client's last vet fired her for being obnoxiuos and refusal to follow his direction. Not to mention she never paid her vet bill without a fight. We fired her also after 8 months of abuse.)
"He is a DOG! Not a little human in a fur coat with clothes. If you would treat him like a dog than I wouldn't have to muzzle the little spoiled brat to handle him." (Neurotic small dog owner. The dog is small in size but large in teeth and very experienced in their use.)
"Now we place this collar on the child just tight enough for the prongs to come in contact with the throat. When the child screams s/he will receive a small shock much like static electricity. This will distract the child from screaming at the top of his/her lungs in a small exam room with a cat that wants to take us all out when the kid lets out a blood curding scream." (A frantic parent with 2 screaming childern ages 4 and 5, a freaked out cat, in small exam room, with no way out.)
Fuzzy, CVT whose patients are actually easier to deal with than her clients.Last edit by traumaRUs on Dec 18, '07 : Reason: Implied profanity
- 13Dec 15, '07 by flightnurse2bQuote from AngelfireRNwe had a 400+ lb TIA patient come in one day. the nurse and i went in to do an assessment and when the nurse asked her what happened, the patient said "i just dont know. ive always been really healthy!" and the nurse said "hmm... did you eat too much popeyes chicken?" omg i had to leave the room.Don't have to be a nurse to state the (seemingly) obvious. Very good comment, but, boy do they get huffy. Saw one one time that I bet weighed 400 pounds, complained that she could "feel the metal in the bed (because she squished the mattress flat!), and yet sat in there, inhaling ice cream,wondering why her sugar was sky-high.
- 29Dec 15, '07 by NurseCherloveQuote from Kim O'TherapyOr how about when you go into the room to do their assessment, they see you with stethoscope in hand, standing there, and they continue to talk on the phone as if you were not :angryfireNO, I will NOT come back later. The twenty family members in your room 24/7 will have to step out for 15 minutes, so I can get these meds given and this procedure done. You need to run on our schedule, not your visitors' schedules. (I get soooooooo tired of being asked to "come back later". Then, when the pt is "ready now", they want you to drop everything and catch up with them.) :angryfire
I love even more the "hovering" family members who watch everything you do (to ensure their loved on is getting the best care of course) and then talks to the patient while you are trying to listen to their chest!!! Are you completely stupid???!!!! Do you think I am just doing this for show?Last edit by VivaLasViejas on Dec 15, '07 : Reason: offensive terms for less-than-intelligent people
- 3Dec 15, '07 by rph3664Quote from BabyScanner82My mother had a tubal ligation back in the day when that procedure was 3 days in the hospital, and it was also the only time she ever heard anyone really complain about the food. Her roommate was a 300 pound diabetic who had been put in the hospital because she refused to take care of herself, so of course she didn't like what they were giving her to eat.5) This one is my personal favorite, every shift I hear numerous complaints about how bad the food is. What I would give to tell one of these patients, your in a hospital, not a hotel. That food you were eating that put on that extra 100 pounds may be the very reason your lying in that bed with shortness of breath!!! I guess that would just be an anwser with too much logic now wouldn't it?
- 71Dec 15, '07 by rph3664Quote from FlyingScotAmerican poverty, 2007:How are you expected to pay for your blood pressure medicine Mrs. Robinson? (fake name of patient who presented to ER with HTN and prescription had run out)Do you really want me to tell you because you aren't going to like what I say. Are you sure, you really aren't going to be happy with my answer. Okay, here goes. Perhaps you would be able to afford your medication if you weren't spending $100 a month on fancy fake nails with rhinestones and airbrushed designs. And you might want to reconsider whether the $50 dollar hair-do with all the swirly things and curls is really necessary considering the fact that your out of control blood pressure is likely going to kill you. Actually said this to a patient only in a slightly nicer way. She looked at me gape-faced. Then I think she considered punching me but I really did say it in a concerned way and had given her an out if she didn't want to hear it. Her face finally relaxed as she realized that what I had said was true and actually thanked me as I walked her out the door.
Top of the line cell phone with all the extras, for each family member, even if it isn't necessary
Cable or satellite with every movie package
All the latest electronic equipment and every game or accessory that accompanies it
All the latest designer clothes
even though nobody in the household has ever had a job, and no, these things were not given to them by a charity or kindhearted soul. They often live on SSI for their obesity, drug addiction, or the kids' ADHD.
The above makes things so much harder for people who genuinely fall on hard times, whether through no fault of their own or by some bad decisions, not a lifetime of them.
JMHOLast edit by VivaLasViejas on Dec 15, '07 : Reason: inappropriate references
- 20Dec 15, '07 by VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN GuideModerator's Note:
Venting in these forums is, and always will be, encouraged and accepted here at allnurses. However, mean-spirited bashing and/or stereotyping of certain segments of the population is not helpful, nor does it add anything of value to these discussions. Please confine the social and political commentary to the Break Room. Thank you.