Please Help - I have no where else to turn

[abbaking]

In a nutshell, I am so fed up with nursing that I will do anything to avoid it. 10 minutes into my shift it was a madhouse. I didnt ever recieve any report yet and The call lights were going off like crazy. I went into a room 12 to check on the lady in the second bed since she had called for something. I could not even get to her because the lady in bed one (whom I have never met before) began to verbally and physically attack me. This is only some of what the crazy lady in bed one said (replace with curse word in your mind since i cant post them on here) :

"Knock on the door you fat jerk. Are you a nurse or an idiot. Your a fat piece of lard. I have rights. I pay your salary and I dont care if Obama was here you will do what I say. I will find where you live and have you TAKEN CARE OF".

The patient began to throw the meal utensils at me and anything she could grab. I backed out of there.

In 10 years of bedside experience, I have NEVER seen this much verbal abuse and aggression directed towards me - EVER!!

And in 10 years of bedside experience i have never lost my cool - except tonight. I SCREAMED back at this vile lunatic of a person as loud as possible to back, relax, and not give me any crap cause I will not tolerate it. I told hee I have feelings too and she will not abuse me. My stress and anxiety boiled over and I lost my cool by screaming at her (although I must say, she did deserve it).

The lunatic called the house supervisor and demanded everything under the sun. At this point i was outside my body watching myself react. My adrenaline was in full swing, I was shaking uncontrolably and i was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. I gathered my backpack and I left. I told the team leader the entire situation and she said to go home and relax. She said that I was not fit to work in the condition i was in being a nervous wreck.

Before I left i told the house supervisor my side of the story and email my boss. I am now home.

Regardless of how "I could have handled the situation differently", I want to make it very clear that this patient was beyond out of line. Nobody - NOBODY deserves what i experienced tonight.

I am in a deep state of shock right now. I am severely depressed and i have awful anxiety. I am so streesed. I am on one hand happy that i stood up for myself and put this lunatic back in her place. On the other hand I feel like an ass.

Regardless, I realized that I cant do nursing anymore. All the deliberate short staffing, terrible hours, bad working conditions, and stupid people all served as the backdrop for my breakdown tonight.

I dont think I can even go back to work. I am thinking about going to my doctor tomorrow and asking for emergency FMLA time (work induced stress/depression). I think I am going crazy.

If anyone can offer any advise or words of encouragement - I need it now. I am home crying and just feeling terrible

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

In New York, assaulting a nurse on duty is a felony, isn't there a similar law in the OP's state?

And I have seen a few posts referring to the OP as a "she" ... when I believe the OP is a MALE (I assume so based on the avatar symbol). Not that this makes it any less serious, just an observation.

I still believe this was a situation that needed to be handled by multiple personnel and escalated to manpower. In my hospital, this would have never been handled this way. What a shame. Had it happened to me, the patient would be eternally screwed.

[leha]

This is terrible!

Unfortunately, I found med/surg nursing to be horrible, did it for 4 yrs and that was enough for me. A lot of patients had zero respect for nurses and that's just not okay. I am now in hospice home health and it's MUCH different in my experience. I hope you don't give up on nursing. I would say to try home health and/or hospice. You will get the respect all nurses deserve.

[Stormy8]

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. A few weeks ago, I had a similar situation happen to me. Had a patient who verbally assaulted me, threatened to hit me, etc. I tried not to take it personally. I pretty much took it, apologized to the patient that she was feeling the way she was and vented at home about it. Took a few days for me to get over it. Def take some time to yourself to decompress. You need it. We all do sometimes. Take care of yourself. Don't let this experience over throw why you chose nursing as your profession. Don't let this one person, get to you because I know for a fact, they don't care about how you feel.

Keep your head up! You'll get through this!

[daisy2daisy]

Sounds like you are a "Stepford Nurse". Obviously this nurse is a human.

Who r u directing this quote to?

[daisy2daisy]

I have watched this thread all day. One thing I think each one of you should take out of this discussion is the ability to go to your next staff meeting and ask management to address the issue. If they will not support nurses I would suggest the nurses find ways of making their needs known. A safe work place is a mandatory thing in my mind, and by federal law. If management is willing to allow felony actions such as taking guns into a hospital they need to be advised that it could be prosecuted as conspiracy. I am sure there is a lawyer out there who would love to be on Good Morning America or any of the rest of the talk shows. to see the written P&P addressing how threats of violence are to be handled. Demand a written copy of this document. If it does not meet your needs to keep safe, address the things lacking

You can call OSHA if your safety is being ignored

If there is P&P and not being followed, address that

Do not wait until you are in the situation. You need to know what to do and know that management will do what they are to do.

Thank you, I am going tomorrow for a so called charge nurse inservice : leadership and the charge nurse

Objectives:

1) identify 3 characteristics of a successful leader

2) identify at least 3 causes of chaos on the nursing unit

3)state at least 2 methods to decrease chaos on the nursing unit

I will be bringing up these circumstances you mentioned as I'm sure if I didn't , they would not be broached.

[BelieveN]

We all have our breaking points. You reached yours and reacted on it. Yes, it blew up the wrong way and now you know what you your reaction should have been different. But when your stressed and depressed actions and words don't often play out the professional way. Which adds to your stress depression and know guilt. Go to your doctor, get that time off with maybe some therapy to talk things out before you make a decision of leaving your job. I have been there, as I'm sure others have and it does help. Don't bet yourself up over it, take that time off. Nursing is very stressful, we as nurses are to understand the patients feelings and be there for them. But sometimes we need to have someone there for us to understand what we go thru as well and sometimes our Co workers and administration k or family is not enough. Good luck to you.

[*4!#6]

This is why I don't think I could do nursing full time. I am a sensitive person and I know that I would have reacted similarly under such stressful circumstances. You have my support.

[TopazLover, BSN, RN]

Thank you, I am going tomorrow for a so called charge nurse inservice : leadership and the charge nurse

Objectives:

1) identify 3 characteristics of a successful leader

2) identify at least 3 causes of chaos on the nursing unit

3)state at least 2 methods to decrease chaos on the nursing unit

I will be bringing up these circumstances you mentioned as I'm sure if I didn't , they would not be broached.

You have just shown at least one characteristic of a successful leader. It is to bring issues and concrete solutions.

One of the problems that I don't see addressed often is dealing with management by knowing what is acceptable. A safe environment is mandated by federal OSHA standards. Look them up and go to meetings being able to quote what the baseline requirements are.

Too many nurses complain and write they hate the way they are treated. The most common solution suggested is get away from nursing. Why continue to allow yourselves and your patients to not receive appropriate care? new staff will continue what they see. Bad practice will lead to more bad practice. Leaving will continue this for the next and the following, and the next until the entire unit is filled with new nurses in tears.

Going back to the OP. If the patient was not of sound mind how was that being addressed? How come this nurse had to walk into this confrontation without any warning about how the person was acting. I suspect this behavior did not start with this nurse. She was the recipient of the chaos. Everyone has to be held accountable. If the patient was screaming at dietary they probably would refuse to go near her. That is true for everyone except the nurse. A well oiled machine will be able to anticipate these things before the explosion. The OP gets blamed because she was the final straw. Did others report these behaviors?

if all you walk away, God help me or your mother or anyone you love who has to be hospitalized.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

you know,that was a thought I had too- if they weren't demented, i would've have asked for a psych consult on this moron. Document every word that was said in the chart.

but on the flipside, we all know this crap is perpetuated because management subscribes to the "customer is always right" motto and they get REWARDED for their obnoxious behavior.Who suffer? WE DO.

Management has us by the tennisballs, and they know it.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

When a 2 year old yells at you do you scream back?

I think you might be confused, I don't think OP is a pediatric nurse.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

When a 2 year old yells at you do you scream back?

Most of the adults in my life would have screamed back at the 2-year-old who yelled. At the very minimum, the adults would have swiftly put the 2-year-old back into his or her place.

Sorry, but I come from a family where development theories were disregarded and a distinct line was drawn between adults and children. If any kid (even a 2-year-old) raised his or her voice toward an adult, he/she would be punished.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Another avenue to look out: What is your facilities policy on Preventing Workplace Violence?

Do you even have a policy, was staff inserviced,,,, was it followed in this event?

See OSHA Guidelines

Guidelines for Preventing Workplace Violence for Health Care & Social Service Workers

Post-incident response and evaluation are essential to an effective violence prevention program. All workplace violence programs should provide comprehensive treatment for employees who are victimized personally or may be traumatized by witnessing a workplace violence incident. Injured staff should receive prompt treatment and psychological evaluation whenever an assault takes place, regardless of its severity. Provide the injured transportation to medical care if it is not available onsite.

Victims of workplace violence suffer a variety of consequences in addition to their actual physical injuries. These may include:

• Short- and long-term psychological trauma;
  
• Fear of returning to work;
  
• Changes in relationships with coworkers and family;
  
• Feelings of incompetence, guilt, powerlessness; and
  
• Fear of criticism by supervisors or managers.
  

Consequently, a strong follow-up program for these employees will not only help them to deal with these problems but also help prepare them to confront or prevent future incidents of violence.

Several types of assistance can be incorporated into the post-incident response. For example, trauma-crisis counseling, critical-incident stress debriefing or employee assistance programs may be provided to assist victims. Certified employee assistance professionals, psychologists, psychiatrists, clinical nurse specialists or social workers may provide this counseling or the employer may refer staff victims to an outside specialist. In addition, the employer may establish an employee counseling service, peer counseling or support groups.

Counselors should be well trained and have a good understanding of the issues and consequences of assaults and other aggressive, violent behavior. Appropriate and promptly rendered post-incident debriefings and counseling reduce acute psychological trauma and general stress levels among victims and witnesses. In addition, this type of counseling educates staff about workplace violence and positively influences workplace and organizational cultural norms to reduce trauma associated with future incidents.

Fight fire WITH fire.