Please Help - I have no where else to turn

[abbaking]

In a nutshell, I am so fed up with nursing that I will do anything to avoid it. 10 minutes into my shift it was a madhouse. I didnt ever recieve any report yet and The call lights were going off like crazy. I went into a room 12 to check on the lady in the second bed since she had called for something. I could not even get to her because the lady in bed one (whom I have never met before) began to verbally and physically attack me. This is only some of what the crazy lady in bed one said (replace with curse word in your mind since i cant post them on here) :

"Knock on the door you fat jerk. Are you a nurse or an idiot. Your a fat piece of lard. I have rights. I pay your salary and I dont care if Obama was here you will do what I say. I will find where you live and have you TAKEN CARE OF".

The patient began to throw the meal utensils at me and anything she could grab. I backed out of there.

In 10 years of bedside experience, I have NEVER seen this much verbal abuse and aggression directed towards me - EVER!!

And in 10 years of bedside experience i have never lost my cool - except tonight. I SCREAMED back at this vile lunatic of a person as loud as possible to back, relax, and not give me any crap cause I will not tolerate it. I told hee I have feelings too and she will not abuse me. My stress and anxiety boiled over and I lost my cool by screaming at her (although I must say, she did deserve it).

The lunatic called the house supervisor and demanded everything under the sun. At this point i was outside my body watching myself react. My adrenaline was in full swing, I was shaking uncontrolably and i was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. I gathered my backpack and I left. I told the team leader the entire situation and she said to go home and relax. She said that I was not fit to work in the condition i was in being a nervous wreck.

Before I left i told the house supervisor my side of the story and email my boss. I am now home.

Regardless of how "I could have handled the situation differently", I want to make it very clear that this patient was beyond out of line. Nobody - NOBODY deserves what i experienced tonight.

I am in a deep state of shock right now. I am severely depressed and i have awful anxiety. I am so streesed. I am on one hand happy that i stood up for myself and put this lunatic back in her place. On the other hand I feel like an ass.

Regardless, I realized that I cant do nursing anymore. All the deliberate short staffing, terrible hours, bad working conditions, and stupid people all served as the backdrop for my breakdown tonight.

I dont think I can even go back to work. I am thinking about going to my doctor tomorrow and asking for emergency FMLA time (work induced stress/depression). I think I am going crazy.

If anyone can offer any advise or words of encouragement - I need it now. I am home crying and just feeling terrible

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

Could be that the VAST MAJORITY of nurses are women and so the presumption is that any nurse is a female unless clarified.

Just sayin'...

Yes, and that is a shame that this has to be an assumption, just sayin' ...

[JenniferS_CNA]

Wow, I am so sorry this happened to you. It is NOT okay for you to be treated like crap, especially when you're the person who is there to help them!!!

Although I'm only a Nurse's Aide, I have experienced some verbal abuse (thankfully no physical abuse). A woman who had some mental illness, along with behavioral issues just got to me one day. I had to have some more experienced Aides help me while I helped her. Her threats, name calling, and swearing were just awful. At one point I had to leave the room because I couldn't hold it in and started crying. The thing that got to me, was when my fellow Aides told me "Don't worry, someday you'll get used to that"....

WHY should you have to get used to abuse?!

When i hear that situations like these happen often in Nursing, make me want to reconsider this career path.

I wish you the best! You are a good person and completely human. You sound as though you are worn a bit too thin. Time off sounds like it would help. You need a mental break. You sound like you are a good nurse, don't quit just yet! Maybe a different area of nursing would be better? Either way, good luck and feel better! :) hugs.

[Asystole RN]

Have a little compassion. While screaming back was not the ideal response (which the OP recognizes), the OP did not do physical violence like the patient did - you are going too far by saying she was 'more wrong'. She's had an awful day and needs support, not to be kicked when she is down.

The OP is a licensed professional who petitioned her state for the privilege to serve the public. At no point in time is it ever acceptable, ever, to verbally or physically assault a patient for any reason.

Show a little compassion for the patient.

If she was in my facility she would have been immediately terminated and reported.

Again for the ignorant or slow, IT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE TO PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY, FINANCIALLY OR MENTALLY ABUSE A PATIENT, ever, for any reason.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

That's why some day I hope everyone quits nursing. People who have no respect for the one's CARING/SAVING THEIR you-know -what for them don't deserve any care at all. It would be great if they knew why. This is why this abusive type of behavior is becoming more common. Because NO ONE is willing to do anything about it. Yes- let's REWARD the rude jerks.

Good luck OP- hopefully you have a better life from here on out. I envy you. I will be in your place someday though. One can only tolerate abuse for so long. Ughhh this makes me so angry. " HI, my name is Nursey- Nurse. I will be your door mat and punching bag this evening. Shall I draw a target for you????

[Asystole RN]

That's why some day I hope everyone quits nursing. People who have no respect for the one's CARING/SAVING THEIR you-know -what for them don't deserve any care at all. It would be great if they knew why. This is why this abusive type of behavior is becoming more common. Because NO ONE is willing to do anything about it. Yes- let's REWARD the rude jerks.

Good luck OP- hopefully you have a better life from here on out. I envy you. I will be in your place someday though. One can only tolerate abuse for so long. Ughhh this makes me so angry. " HI, my name is Nursey- Nurse. I will be your door mat and punching bag this evening. Shall I draw a target for you????

I do not think anyone is advocating for nurses to be the idle recipients of abuse. No one deserves to be the subject of any type of abuse, in fact there are laws that address this. The nurse is protected by Federal, State, and local laws, not to mention the organizations such as OSHA and their local Labor Boards. There is no reason why a nurse, being a recipient of abuse, cannot take appropriate legal action to protect themself. Note however, I did not say that it was appropriate to retaliate against a patient, even if that patient is being abusive.

Your call for nurses to quit so that the population can respect us speaks volumes to the current state of your practice. If you are a nurse that requires an external driving force such as respect to keep you motivated then you need to leave the profession to the professionals. The drive to be a nurse should come from within, do you need someone to pat you on the head and tell you “you’re so special” to keep you motivated? This exact reason is why I detest Nurse’s Week, it helps to foster a pathetic attitude that somehow nurses need external praise to keep us motivated. Some of us are actually motivated by helping others and require no external praise, this used to be common, used to be.

Nurses are respected because we are the only profession that no matter what happens will always be there for the patient, we place the patient first, always. There is a reason why the Lady of the Lamp is such an iconic image, the lone nurse who stays by the patient day and night tending to their needs.

Patients are a vulnerable population, they are physically damaged and many times mentally damaged as well. Aggressive behavior is often a sign of vulnerability, we should pity them and at all times and always remain professional.

Again, it is illegal for anyone to abuse anyone else. If a nurse is being abused then they need to seek out their chain of command. Should that fail then one only needs to contact law enforcement, OSHA, the Labor Board, or any of the other multiple resources available to the nurse.

We have petitioned the state to allow us to serve the public, we serve at the pleasure of the public, we are their advocate. Keep that in mind.

[nursel56]

Going to respond via PM.

[Asystole RN]

i don't think any of us need your lectures asystole, especially since the overwhelming majority of respondents here have at least three times the experience you do, and it's clear you responded to the first post here with exactly what he didn't need at that moment, as he well knew there might be a few like yours. if someone writes something like this again, why not try and hold back your impulse to remind him of the obvious and answer someone else's post. when you have almost 80 people agreeing with the post you apparently just now realized existed, you might wonder if there is a flaw in your attitude somewhere.

i apologize that you did not like my post. i find it interesting that you would attack me personally without addressing the substance of my post. do you disagree with the substance of the post? i will also try to make a more assertive attempt to watch the threads that you take interest in so that i can respond to them for you.

i think this is a serious subject and a major violation of the nurse-patient relationship. i think this is exactly what the op needed, and some others. i think it is great that 80 other people decided to support the op but i figure that there is room for at least one person to dissent, or do i have to always agree with everyone else? like i said, she is lucky that she did not work in my facility, the outcome would not have been pleasant.

edit:

what was so wrong with my first post? i offered sympathy, words of advice, and words of wisdom.

was it not wrong for the op to "lose control" and yell at the patient? is not silly to yell at someone who is obviously not in control of their faculties?

i thought my post was pretty mild...

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

I don't need any pat on the back, nor do I want any. I just want common decency and respect. My gosh, is that too much to ask? Maybe it's because I am not of the generation "me me me , now now now, screw everyone else- i want to be snowed so I don't have to deal with reality", and I don't understand this rude mentality.I do take my job seriously, believe it or not. Maybe it i because we have had a rash of drug abusers and etc. mixed in with MY CARDIAC patients. I don't choose to work in psych- now all of a sudden they are mixed in with the gen. population.

That is all.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

Again for the ignorant or slow, IT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE TO PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY, FINANCIALLY OR MENTALLY ABUSE A PATIENT, ever, for any reason.

For the "ignorant or slow," I don't recall that anyone here has said it was "acceptable." I believe those on the thread who aren't ignorant or slow merely responded that we can understand the impulse, offered badly needed support and understanding ,and that the OP needs to get some help for their obviously severe burn out and the trauma experienced in this altercation.

[caliotter3]

Well said wooh.. Now can we please close this thread that is no longer doing any good for the OP?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Well said wooh.. Now can we please close this thread that is no longer doing any good for the OP?

Thread is being closed for further review.