In a nutshell, I am so fed up with nursing that I will do anything to avoid it. 10 minutes into my shift it was a madhouse. I didnt ever recieve any report yet and The call lights were going off like crazy. I went into a room 12 to check on the lady in the second bed since she had called for something. I could not even get to her because the lady in bed one (whom I have never met before) began to verbally and physically attack me. This is only some of what the crazy lady in bed one said (replace with curse word in your mind since i cant post them on here) :
"Knock on the door you fat jerk. Are you a nurse or an idiot. Your a fat piece of lard. I have rights. I pay your salary and I dont care if Obama was here you will do what I say. I will find where you live and have you TAKEN CARE OF".
The patient began to throw the meal utensils at me and anything she could grab. I backed out of there.
In 10 years of bedside experience, I have NEVER seen this much verbal abuse and aggression directed towards me - EVER!!
And in 10 years of bedside experience i have never lost my cool - except tonight. I SCREAMED back at this vile lunatic of a person as loud as possible to back, relax, and not give me any crap cause I will not tolerate it. I told hee I have feelings too and she will not abuse me. My stress and anxiety boiled over and I lost my cool by screaming at her (although I must say, she did deserve it).
The lunatic called the house supervisor and demanded everything under the sun. At this point i was outside my body watching myself react. My adrenaline was in full swing, I was shaking uncontrolably and i was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown. I gathered my backpack and I left. I told the team leader the entire situation and she said to go home and relax. She said that I was not fit to work in the condition i was in being a nervous wreck.
Before I left i told the house supervisor my side of the story and email my boss. I am now home.
Regardless of how "I could have handled the situation differently", I want to make it very clear that this patient was beyond out of line. Nobody - NOBODY deserves what i experienced tonight.
I am in a deep state of shock right now. I am severely depressed and i have awful anxiety. I am so streesed. I am on one hand happy that i stood up for myself and put this lunatic back in her place. On the other hand I feel like an ass.
Regardless, I realized that I cant do nursing anymore. All the deliberate short staffing, terrible hours, bad working conditions, and stupid people all served as the backdrop for my breakdown tonight.
I dont think I can even go back to work. I am thinking about going to my doctor tomorrow and asking for emergency FMLA time (work induced stress/depression). I think I am going crazy.
If anyone can offer any advise or words of encouragement - I need it now. I am home crying and just feeling terrible
So sorry this happened. I am new to nursing but had a similar situation happen in my last profession. Take a few days to calm down, regroup, and look at it with fresh eyes. Your doctor will probably give you a note for that. Ask yourself if it's really the profession you dislike, or what happened in THIS situation under THESE conditions. Maybe it's your sign that it's time to try a new area of nursing. Hugs to you and best of luck in sorting this out.
Take some time off from work before you decide anything. The medical leave is a good idea. You need to take some time out to relax and decide what you want to do. (((you))). I am experiencing something similar at the moment, although not as severe. You have my thoughts/prayers and sympathy. Please update us.
that being said...this is why it is so important to stay professionally neutral, not get emotionally involved, and treat the resident's room like it is their home.
you should feel sorry for the resident, she obviously has problems and is most likely coping in a negative fashion. feel blessed that you have a home to go to where you can sleep in a room by yourself.
it was wrong of her to verbally and physically assault you, it was more wrong of you to react unprofessionally and sink to her level and yell back.
when a 2 year old yells at you do you scream back?
1. the residents room is not their "home" and if a call light is going, and you walk in, then the roommate needs to deal.
2. feeling sorry for the resident does not negate her behaviour.
3. i have on occasion yelled or snapped at a toddler. they push buttons. i don't feel great about it, but what do you suggest she do? stand there, bend over and take it?
op, presuming that the patient didn't have any medical conditions that would "excuse" her behaviour, i would consider pressing charges for assault, seriously.
it was more wrong of you to react unprofessionally and sink to her level and yell back.
when a 2 year old yells at you do you scream back?
have a little compassion. while screaming back was not the ideal response (which the op recognizes), the op did not do physical violence like the patient did - you are going too far by saying she was 'more wrong'. she's had an awful day and needs support, not to be kicked when she is down.
so agreed!!!! asystole - have some heart!! sheesh!!
their are many different fields of nursing!! have you tried hospice? home health? medical offices? school nursing?? these might not pay as well, but what you don't get in pay, you may keep in sanity! good luck! i hope you figure this out. i'm sure if you took some time off, relearn why you became a nurse in the first place, you will get back on track!
Just wanted to stop in with ((hugs)) and some understanding. I hope you take the time you need to decompress and get some distance from all the nasties it seems this job entails. I too am just realizing after a few years in acute care that perhaps it's time for a change of scenery for just that reason - responsibilities becoming overwhelming liabilities, this new 'customer service' model, always being short-staffed, etc. As others have already mentioned, there are other areas of nursing that may not pay as well but will give you some time and space to reclaim your sanity. Good luck!
I have watched this thread all day. One thing I think each one of you should take out of this discussion is the ability to go to your next staff meeting and ask management to address the issue. If they will not support nurses I would suggest the nurses find ways of making their needs known. A safe work place is a mandatory thing in my mind, and by federal law. If management is willing to allow felony actions such as taking guns into a hospital they need to be advised that it could be prosecuted as conspiracy. I am sure there is a lawyer out there who would love to be on Good Morning America or any of the rest of the talk shows. Ask to see the written P&P addressing how threats of violence are to be handled. Demand a written copy of this document. If it does not meet your needs to keep safe, address the things lacking.
You can call OSHA if your safety is being ignored.
If there is P&P and not being followed, address that.
Do not wait until you are in the situation. You need to know what to do and know that management will do what they are to do.
I'm sorry that this happened to you but it seems like this woman wasnt in her right state of mind and it wasnt about you but it was directed towards you. I worked social services and got my wrist sprained, face punched and arms scratched up and been called every name under the sun including skinny white b(you can figure the rest out). I took it as a compliment being called skinny. Maybe take some time off and think about it. There are so many other avenues you can take with nursing. I know how you felt. When I got attacked I wanted to snap and was told by my coworkers to calm down, they wouldnt let us go early. Good luck.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
i do think you should at least talk to an attorney and consider pressing charges. she assaulted you -- and she needs to be held accountable for that. also, by actually filing charges of assault, it will put your hospital on notice that they need to take this incident seriously -- and consider you the victim of a crime -- and not treat you like you were the instigator.
filing charges may give you some protection (and maybe even compensation / assistance) from your employer. if you don't file charges, they may to blame you for any negative outcomes of this incident.
not only that, if you file charges she'll be on the radar. that way, the next time she tries this crap with someone else if they call the police, she may wind up in court. people like this deserve to get jammed up.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
i understand how you feel. i have taken time off during my 22yrs of nursing for this same reason. if you aren't able to financially do this, try home health or an office setting for a while. and don't feel alone. we have all felt mistreated, angry, overwhelmed and disrespected many times in our work. try to remember that those are a lot of the same feelings our patients are having and do your best. big hug!
sure, i have felt angry and mistreated. but if i pull the crap at a restaurant that the pt pulled with the op, i'd be lucky to walk away with only being refused future service there. do what this pt did anywhere else, and you will probably be explaining yourself to the police. what makes it ok for people to do that in a hospital? and why is it ok for this to be done to nurses when these loser patients would never do the same to a doc?
nurses are skilled, intelligent professionals--not the punching bag for society. it's time we smartened up about this and started supporting our colleagues. you would never, in a million years, see docs castigating their fellow docs the way people are here.
Have a little compassion. While screaming back was not the ideal response (which the OP recognizes), the OP did not do physical violence like the patient did - you are going too far by saying she was 'more wrong'. She's had an awful day and needs support, not to be kicked when she is down.
I feel the same. I've worked in psych for 3 years, and gotten screamed at more times than I can count, and threatened with physical violence nearly as much (thankfully not ever actually assaulted). And I've had days with that one patient that pushed all the right buttons, and lost my cool, yelled back, whatever. I try to take a lesson from it, and learn to walk away sooner rather than later the next time, and let someone with a better rapport take over. Not that the OP had a chance to do that, but just saying...learning opportunity.
I'm sorry this happened. It sounds like my old floor! Maybe you should look into a different type of nursing. I worked med/surg tele for 1 1/2 years and burned out fast. 5-6 very sick patients, lots of psych cases, dementia, too many instances where I felt my license could be on the line because of the level of sickness and lack of time that I could devote to the patient. I could have one getting blood, one getting plasma, one on a cardizem gtt, one with a crazy blood pressure getting lopresser iv push, and one screaming at me for pain meds. There were a lot of parts about it that I liked, but knew I couldn't do it forever. The patient population was just too difficult, and they were always after us for customer service, especially with all the hcaps (sp?) stuff coming up. The way we do medicine in this country is crazy sometimes. We get paid based on how people answer a survey, and those people may be crazy like the patient you encountered. I switched to nicu and really like it. It was hard, cause I felt like a new grad again, and I'm still not good at getting iv's on them even though I could stick a little old lady with terrible renal veins. But, in general, I don't come home feeling like I got hit by a mac truck. I wish you the best. Try to take some time off and regroup.
All compassion from me over here. I am so sorry you had to have that experiecnce let alone the after trauma. Every one has a breaking point, that was yours.
I once told a patient that she was the reason why I hated nursing sometimes.
Oh, and the bad mother I am actually have yelled back at my daughter who is 4 and probably once or twice the yelling could qualify as screaming. Yup, I reached my breaking point.
Take the break you need to get your head straight. You can't go back until you get some help and decompress. Perhaps your facility has an employee assistance program. Take advantage of it.
hell0kittygyrl
13 Posts
So sorry this happened. I am new to nursing but had a similar situation happen in my last profession. Take a few days to calm down, regroup, and look at it with fresh eyes. Your doctor will probably give you a note for that. Ask yourself if it's really the profession you dislike, or what happened in THIS situation under THESE conditions. Maybe it's your sign that it's time to try a new area of nursing. Hugs to you and best of luck in sorting this out.