I Lost All Respect For A Colleague Today

Nurses Relations

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Actually, I lost all respect for two colleagues today. One is a brand new grad, about 21 or 22 and gorgeous in one of those fresh, "girl next door" ways. She gets her scrubs tailored so they fit her just so, her hair is long, shiny and falls in loose lustrous waves. She could be a model, so we'll call her Heidi. The other is a married neurosurgery fellow, whose wife is pregnant with his first child. We'll call him Dr. Dick, or just Dick.

Heidi didn't do anything to seriously endanger a patient: she didn't slam in Lasix, for example, or trickle in Adenosine. She didn't miss a run of VT (although, to be fair, the Clin Tech noticed it first and pointed it out to Heidi). She didn't ignore post-op pain or bleeding, and she wasn't the one sitting at the computer at the nurse's station, headphones on and watching a hockey game while ignoring monitor alarms and call bells. Nevertheless, I've completely lost respect for her.

It was a slow night for a Friday night -- half of our surgeons were out of town for a conference and of the remaining four, one just lost his mother and isn't back from the funeral in Asia. There's a new sushi restaurant near the hospital, and they deliver if you can put together a lucrative-enough order. The folks I work with are crazy about sushi and even the Respiratory Therapists and the X-ray techs were ordering $20 worth of sushi.

We were all sitting in the back -- well, not ALL of us. Half of us were sitting in the back, having drawn the long straw and were enjoying our sushi while the other half watched all of the patients. Heidi was sitting next to Dick, something that really didn't register with me at the time, and Dick was regaling us all with a tale about how his wife's incredible morning sickness caused her to toss her cookies in the waste basket of a patient's hospital room while the patient described in great detail the "unusual" nature of his poop. (Only nurses -- and surgeons, RTs and X-ray techs can sit around enjoying a good meal while describing poop and someone's vomiting episodes.)

And then I went back to relieve Steve, my substation partner so he could eat his sushi. While Steve was gone, his patient's attending surgeon stopped by and asked a question I couldn't answer, so I popped into the break room to ask him about it. Both Heidi and Dick were still there, only this time they were sharing a single chair. The sexual tension was palpable, and Steve looked thrilled to be interrupted. He shot out of the room as though he'd been fired from a cannon.

Heidi, it seems, has been sleeping with Dick since her arrival on our unit in July. She knows all about the pregnant wife . . .

Heidi may be a good clinician one day, she may be a compassionate and caring nurse. She may be a hard worker. But I will never again respect a woman who could sleep with a married man, a man whose wife is pregnant with their child and who is a sometimes-colleague on a consulting service. And the fact that they made no attempt to be discreet makes them even more contemptible. I've lived through the drama on a unit when an affair goes bad, witnessed a famously and flagrantly unfaithful surgeon's wife storm into the ICU demanding "which one of you ugly ******* is ******* my husband?" and making a good attempt to castrate the man in question. I've seen the aftermath of the DON being found going at it with the Medical Director of Emergency Medicine and I've lived through more nurses breaking up with doctors on our service than I can even remember. I've been the cheated-upon, and it was more painful than even I can describe. Why would you put someone else through that deliberately?

Keep it out of work, people. And if you cannot do that, at least be discreet.

Yeah we all got what you're saying. What you're still not getting is how weird everything you're saying is coming off. You just keep digging that hole deeper and deeper. I have to think this is just a very long elaborate troll. At least I hope so, cause basically you said you're looking for s hot chick at work to bang and don't care anything about her as a person, as long as she is hot. I seriously don't understand you at all.
All I will say is, keep in mind the part I mentioned about the whole thing being "mutual" (I.e., she's in it for the exact same reasons as me). It's all just hypothetical talk and wishful thinking at this point, anyways.

I totally understand how you feeling but I also agree that this is none of your business. But I also urge you that the administration should oath to know what was happening. It's about keeping the sanity of the workplace.

Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
All I will say is, keep in mind the part I mentioned about the whole thing being "mutual" (I.e., she's in it for the exact same reasons as me). It's all just hypothetical talk and wishful thinking at this point, anyways.

Which is weird! It's weird to come on an adultery thread and talk about how you can't wait to find a Heidi of your own to bang at work! Are you seriously not getting that? Absolutely nothing that anyone has said in these two threads has actually sunk in. You really can't be this obtuse, can you? I'm seriously done trying to help you out. You are in for a seriously rude awakening these next few months.

Which is weird! It's weird to come on an adultery thread and talk about how you can't wait to find a Heidi of your own to bang at work! Are you seriously not getting that? Absolutely nothing that anyone has said in these two threads has actually sunk in. You really can't be this obtuse, can you? I'm seriously done trying to help you out. You are in for a seriously rude awakening these next few months.
Okay, so it's weird to you (and maybe others)... and so what's the point? That's your opinion, which you are obviously entitled to. I already said it's just wishful thinking, and I think you missed the point I tried to make when I originally posted in this thread, which is that, unlike Dr. Dick, I am NOT married, do not have kids, and thus have no moral objection to engaging in that type of relationship, even though it could still reap professional consequences. So in his case, it's an act of betrayal against his wife and future son/daughter... in my case, it would be good, clean fun, at least until Heidi decides "there's more to this than bangin' around" (or one/both of us gets an STI).
Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.

Hedgehog, just stop.

Some people, I'd rather watch them banging in the breakroom than eating.

OMGosh, husband and I both have tears in our eyes from that video! He just posted it on his facebook wall. I loved "This zone is for redheads, strippers, and women named Tiffany."

Showed the video to hubby, who was nodding in agreement nearly all the way through, LOL....EXCEPT he said that the Fun Zone and Date Zone should actually be flipped....and instructed our teenage son (also watching the video) that it was ALSO a lot of fun to play in the Danger Zone! I had to do some Mom Modification for him at that point, LOL....

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

could someone please close this thread.

could someone please close this thread.

I second this request.

Stephalump, the reason I decided to ask about my own viability for establishing one of these relationships is, as I was reading through the thread, the idea simply popped into my head.

If you have to ask...

You obviously don't have the right...charisma, so to speak, or you wouldn't need to come to a thread like this to ask if you have a chance at banging a gorgeous Heidi. You either got it or you don't, so your posts lead me to believe that you just "don't got it." Sorry.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Frankly...I couldn't care less what someone does with their personal time. As long as it doesn't involve my family, children, and the torturing/sacrifice of small animals....to each their own.

However, I think involving oneself with someone from work or school is NEVER a good idea for it usually doesn't end well. Some relationships have a happy ending like the one in Pretty Women but that is NOT a reason to become a prostitute.

Specializes in Emergency Room, Trauma ICU.
I second this request.

If you don't like the thread, for whatever reason, no one is forcing you to read it.

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