Actually, I lost all respect for two colleagues today. One is a brand new grad, about 21 or 22 and gorgeous in one of those fresh, "girl next door" ways. She gets her scrubs tailored so they fit her just so, her hair is long, shiny and falls in loose lustrous waves. She could be a model, so we'll call her Heidi. The other is a married neurosurgery fellow, whose wife is pregnant with his first child. We'll call him Dr. Dick, or just Dick.
Heidi didn't do anything to seriously endanger a patient: she didn't slam in Lasix, for example, or trickle in Adenosine. She didn't miss a run of VT (although, to be fair, the Clin Tech noticed it first and pointed it out to Heidi). She didn't ignore post-op pain or bleeding, and she wasn't the one sitting at the computer at the nurse's station, headphones on and watching a hockey game while ignoring monitor alarms and call bells. Nevertheless, I've completely lost respect for her.
It was a slow night for a Friday night -- half of our surgeons were out of town for a conference and of the remaining four, one just lost his mother and isn't back from the funeral in Asia. There's a new sushi restaurant near the hospital, and they deliver if you can put together a lucrative-enough order. The folks I work with are crazy about sushi and even the Respiratory Therapists and the X-ray techs were ordering $20 worth of sushi.
We were all sitting in the back -- well, not ALL of us. Half of us were sitting in the back, having drawn the long straw and were enjoying our sushi while the other half watched all of the patients. Heidi was sitting next to Dick, something that really didn't register with me at the time, and Dick was regaling us all with a tale about how his wife's incredible morning sickness caused her to toss her cookies in the waste basket of a patient's hospital room while the patient described in great detail the "unusual" nature of his poop. (Only nurses -- and surgeons, RTs and X-ray techs can sit around enjoying a good meal while describing poop and someone's vomiting episodes.)
And then I went back to relieve Steve, my substation partner so he could eat his sushi. While Steve was gone, his patient's attending surgeon stopped by and asked a question I couldn't answer, so I popped into the break room to ask him about it. Both Heidi and Dick were still there, only this time they were sharing a single chair. The sexual tension was palpable, and Steve looked thrilled to be interrupted. He shot out of the room as though he'd been fired from a cannon.
Heidi, it seems, has been sleeping with Dick since her arrival on our unit in July. She knows all about the pregnant wife . . .
Heidi may be a good clinician one day, she may be a compassionate and caring nurse. She may be a hard worker. But I will never again respect a woman who could sleep with a married man, a man whose wife is pregnant with their child and who is a sometimes-colleague on a consulting service. And the fact that they made no attempt to be discreet makes them even more contemptible. I've lived through the drama on a unit when an affair goes bad, witnessed a famously and flagrantly unfaithful surgeon's wife storm into the ICU demanding "which one of you ugly ******* is ******* my husband?" and making a good attempt to castrate the man in question. I've seen the aftermath of the DON being found going at it with the Medical Director of Emergency Medicine and I've lived through more nurses breaking up with doctors on our service than I can even remember. I've been the cheated-upon, and it was more painful than even I can describe. Why would you put someone else through that deliberately?
Keep it out of work, people. And if you cannot do that, at least be discreet.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
At my very first job (I was 21), three months in, a Christmas party was held for the entire staff in this particular building of a huge teaching hospital complex. First job, big city, big party. I was excited to attend. The function room was the top floor of the building, lots of dark paneling on the walls, dimmed sconces being the only lighting. LOTS and LOTS of posts and poles that were large and square-shaped. I wandered around looking for someone i knew, and got my eyeballs peeled back at every turn; hanky-panky times 20!
I was careful not to let my jaw drop, and I quit looking for co-workers and friends. I just did. not. want. to. know.
It was that night I decided never to get involved with anybody in my workplace. Yes, I was shocked and I also felt embarrassed for those I did know and see. I also vowed never to let my head get turned by a doctors attentions.
At my very first job (I was 21), three months in, a Christmas party was held for the entire staff in this particular building of a huge teaching hospital complex. First job, big city, big party. I was excited to attend. The function room was the top floor of the building, lots of dark paneling on the walls, dimmed sconces being the only lighting. LOTS and LOTS of posts and poles that were large and square-shaped. I wandered around looking for someone i knew, and got my eyeballs peeled back at every turn; hanky-panky times 20!
I was careful not to let my jaw drop, and I quit looking for co-workers and friends. I just did. not. want. to. know.
It was that night I decided never to get involved with anybody in my workplace. Yes, I was shocked and I also felt embarrassed for those I did know and see. I also vowed never to let my head get turned by a doctors attentions.
WOW! Talk about an 'education'!
Ha ha holiday parties are notorious for hook ups and outing of couples!!! Hopefully you were able to get over your shock and had a good time!
Hold on a second, don't you think that's more than a bit harsh? What does wanting a mutual, FWB relationship with a female have to do with not being in it for the "right reasons?" Are you saying that being a doctor or engineer and seeking that kind of arrangement is okay, but establishing one as a nurse isn't?
Also, how could being in that type of relationship even affect or influence patient care? I just don't see what's so wrong with it if both parties understand the terms of the relationship and are choosing to engage in it for mutual reasons.
My comment was not just in response to your desire to bag a "Heidi;" rather it was a cumulative response to everything you've said in this thread. While I acknowledge that there's no tone on the internet and things can be misinterpreted, you come across as uncaring, selfish, and arrogant. Essentially, someone going into nursing for all the wrong reasons. As a patient who just had surgery two weeks ago, I can say confidently that I do not want to be cared for by a CRNA who is just in it for the money and the prestige they think they will get--like you. Patients under anesthesia... well, any patient, actually, is vulnerable. We need healthcare providers that we can trust to have our own best interest at heart, not their own. Just my two cents.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Beh. As long as they are good at what they do, and can at least feign a compassionate bedside manner, I don't give a damn why someone got into nursing, and I HATE the "You went into nursing for all the wrong reasons" line. I don't feel anyone has the right to proclaim that someone went into nursing for all the wrong reasons, especially based on interactions on the internet.
At my very first job (I was 21), three months in, a Christmas party was held for the entire staff in this particular building of a huge teaching hospital complex. First job, big city, big party. I was excited to attend. The function room was the top floor of the building, lots of dark paneling on the walls, dimmed sconces being the only lighting. LOTS and LOTS of posts and poles that were large and square-shaped. I wandered around looking for someone i knew, and got my eyeballs peeled back at every turn; hanky-panky times 20! I was careful not to let my jaw drop, and I quit looking for co-workers and friends. I just did. not. want. to. know. It was that night I decided never to get involved with anybody in my workplace. Yes, I was shocked and I also felt embarrassed for those I did know and see. I also vowed never to let my head get turned by a doctors attentions. WOW! Talk about an 'education'!
Sounds like my kind of party! I wonder how many of the hook-ups occurred spontaneously and/or as the culmination of raw, hot, escalating sexual tension, and not simply between two folks who were already romantically involved?
Why? It's basically a joke. Also, being passively curious about whether many of the party hook-ups were spontaneous or between established couples isn't really an unexpected question, given the circumstances described by the poster. I mean, you guys are warning me of the potential consequences of FWB-ing a hot nurse co-worker, when there are department holiday parties out there that apparently prone to de-evolving (or evolving, depending on how you look at it) into all-out orgies? Lighten up!
Why? It's basically a joke. Also, being passively curious about whether many of the party hook-ups were spontaneous or between established couples isn't really an unexpected question, given the circumstances described by the poster. I mean, you guys are warning me of the potential consequences of FWB-ing a hot nurse co-worker, when there are department holiday parties out there that apparently prone to de-evolving (or evolving, depending on how you look at it) into all-out orgies? Lighten up!
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Sounds like my kind of party! I wonder how many of the hook-ups occurred spontaneously and/or as the culmination of raw, hot, escalating sexual tension, and not simply between two folks who were already romantically involved?
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Why? It's basically a joke. Also, being passively curious about whether many of the party hook-ups were spontaneous or between established couples isn't really an unexpected question, given the circumstances described by the poster. I mean, you guys are warning me of the potential consequences of FWB-ing a hot nurse co-worker, when there are department holiday parties out there that apparently prone to de-evolving (or evolving, depending on how you look at it) into all-out orgies? Lighten up!
Like anything else in life if you seek you shall find.
I have been to many holiday parties hook ups for those who are looking are there for the taking. Hook ups that are made for the walk of shame are there. Me personally.... I have never found it an attractive trait to hook up from poor judgement caused by an over indulgence of alcohol.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Yep, I believe the free-flowing alcohol had a lot to do with it! Free drinks, dark corners and tired people= lowered inhibitions. What I wonder about is the regrets in the days that followed.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Yep, I believe the free-flowing alcohol had a lot to do with it! Free drinks, dark corners and tired people= lowered inhibitions. What I wonder about is the regrets in the days that followed.
I think academic centers have a higher incidence of this tyoe of behavior. There is an abundance of young stressed residents that live medicine 90% of the time and a supply of young nurses fresh out of school. Add an over abundance of alcohol and....
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Interesting you lose "all respect for your colleague" but less disdain expressed for the OTHER half of this affair. So it always goes. The "other woman" is to blame, particularly if she is a nurse. But the doctor? Nope. And guess who loses their position if this is found out by management? Yep, the nurse. The esteemed doctor keeps his position, and respect, while conducting himself like sleezebag, but HEY WE GOT THE NURSE------------that'll show her!!! Ha HA!
I think, in reading your post, you appear to have a lot of jealousy on your part, when you describe "her flowing hair" etc. So what if she is pretty? That makes her totally to blame? I think not.
Is this ok or is she right? No. But YOU don't get to make that decision....
OP, you misplace your blame when putting it all on the nurse. And I personally, have lost respect for people who are so in others' business as much as this post expresses. MYOB. Seriously.
No Stars In My Eyes
5,619 Posts
At my very first job (I was 21), three months in, a Christmas party was held for the entire staff in this particular building of a huge teaching hospital complex. First job, big city, big party. I was excited to attend. The function room was the top floor of the building, lots of dark paneling on the walls, dimmed sconces being the only lighting. LOTS and LOTS of posts and poles that were large and square-shaped. I wandered around looking for someone i knew, and got my eyeballs peeled back at every turn; hanky-panky times 20!
I was careful not to let my jaw drop, and I quit looking for co-workers and friends. I just did. not. want. to. know.
It was that night I decided never to get involved with anybody in my workplace. Yes, I was shocked and I also felt embarrassed for those I did know and see. I also vowed never to let my head get turned by a doctors attentions.
WOW! Talk about an 'education'!