doctor with unprofessional personal life

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    a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?
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    I believe that health care professionals should provide examples for their patients in both their professional and personal lives. However, this simply does not always happen! Health care professionals are people and like anyone else, they are not perfect. Having said that, this does not seem to be an issue that directly concerns the physician, but of the physician's husband. Clearly her husband is dealing with a lot of problems. How can you be sure that they are not trying to work through these? Addiction cannot always be easily overcome and it is often a lifelong battle.

    As long as these issues are not affecting patient care, I'm not sure what you could possibly say to this physician. Many physicians and nurses smoke cigarettes despite knowing the negative health consequences. As far as her husband's situation, the most you could do is to offer emotional support, if she seeks it out or is open about what is occuring. Otherwise, I feel that saying something would be crossing the line in a professional relationship.
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    I'd say what goes on in her home, or with her family is HER business. We all have bad habits, or family members with bad habits, but that doesn't keep us from doing our job at work which is promoting health.
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    Quote from heart2nurse
    a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?

    She may be in a box in her own life. Don't condemn her for the actions of her husband. Sometimes its very easy to tell patients to do something, but when it comes to your own spouse, it becomes quite a bit harder. My husband, bless his heart, is a non-compliant diabetic despite everything I have tried. I married him, but I can't control his actions. My guess is that the good doctor cannot control her husband's actions either.

    As far as her smoking, I am a non-smoker all my life (lucky me) but last I heard it was still legal - risky, but legal. As far as that goes I have a doctor who is at least 100 pounds overweight and he tells me about my weight every chance he gets. Does he set an example? No. But do I listen to him? Sure, I try. I don't know that I would have any better luck listening to a thin doctor anyway. I probably would be less receptive.

    Be compassionate and understanding. She may need your support rather than your judgment.
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    Ummm, not to be rude, but how is it your business what happens in her home? You said that she does not do drugs. Smoking cigarettes is not illegal. Why should she be penalized for the actions of her husband. It is her job to come to work talking about good healthcare for your body. She is a doctor. There is absolutely nothign to be "torn" about here. Am I missing something????

    Just for curiosity's sake, whom would you tell and/or what would you do??

    Quote from heart2nurse
    she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?
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    Unless you observe her providing inadequate or unsafe patient care, her personal life (even more so, her husband's personal life) is none of your business.

    Unless you are personal friends with her outside of the professional setting, it would be v. inappropriate for you to say anything (or, for that matter, to engage in gossip about her with co-workers).
  10. 0
    Quote from heart2nurse
    a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?

    Not to be rude, but, it is none of your business. If it "tears" you up that bad, disassociate yourself from her.
  11. 0
    Quote from siri
    Not to be rude, but, it is none of your business. If it "tears" you up that bad, disassociate yourself from her.
    Ditto
  12. 0
    Quote from pricklypear
    I'd say what goes on in her home, or with her family is HER business. We all have bad habits, or family members with bad habits, but that doesn't keep us from doing our job at work which is promoting health.

    May not be what you'd wanna hear exactly but I agree with this post too.
  13. 0
    Quote from pricklypear
    I'd say what goes on in her home, or with her family is HER business. We all have bad habits, or family members with bad habits, but that doesn't keep us from doing our job at work which is promoting health.

    As much as I hate hippocrits, I agree. It's her personal life and nobody's business.


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