The Family from Hell

Specialties Geriatric

Published

Thanks, but now I am removing identifying info.

:)

Well, I'm annoyed now, even more than I was. I can't sleep because I can't get these morons out of my head and I have to be out of here by 0600 because it's going to snow and I drive 40 miles. 45 minutes in good weather, but not so quick down mountain roads in the snow.

GAH!

I AM going to suggest:

1) Social Services get involved

2) Famn Damily meeting with brother on conference and DON, me, and SS

3) That WE call the ombudsman

Oh, CCM, I have an entire binder called "patient care" and all of my notes of import from a given week are on a sheet and in there, as well as my innoculations list, psych meds, bath dates, and soon I will have ADLs and safety as well as infections. I keep being told that we have all of this in the system but none of it is correct.

I'm getting there. But man, this is frustrating. Between care planning to avoid dings while doing the right thing for the resident to protect ourselves from the government and documenting to protect ourselves from families - GAH!

tHANKS, EVERYONE, FOR HELPING WITH THIS. yOU'VE KEPT ME FROM GOING OVER THE EDGE TONIGHT.

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Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.

Actually Sue, from all your recent posts - you are doing great! Be proud of all you are doing and know you are making a difference in people's lives.

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Specializes in Holistic and Aesthetic Medicine.

Sue,

Good job bringing a postive approach. I was going to suggest dropping a gift bag with a home lobotomy kit at each family member's house (ice pick?). Your approach might be healthier :-) he he he

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Sue,

Good job bringing a postive approach. I was going to suggest dropping a gift bag with a home lobotomy kit at each family member's house (ice pick?). Your approach might be healthier :-) he he he

But your approach gave me my first laugh of the day!

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This task doesn't just fall on you.Some families are possibly going to be unhappy regardless of what you do. The key is giving your best as you know how to.

Also, this should not just be an admin thing- have your aides stand up for the care they give( provided they give excellent care). You get mails or calls once a week, the aides deal with them everyday.

So, if you can, have the aides politely, but firmly reiterate the the care given this lady is a good one, whenever this family chooses to whisper down their ears. You have to examine all facets of this situation, to be sure that nothing else is undermining it, like no aide secretly encouraging or giving contrary ideas. Like you said, it's a small town.

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The "I wish she'd just leave me alone" statement may prompt me to enter into "pt advocate" mode which enables me to be a complete jerk to the daughter, but allows the mom to have well deserved alone time.

The first question to come out of my mouth would have been, "Well if you are done with her visit for the day, then we can ask her to leave ... I have no problem with that what-so-ever. It's your right to not have visitors here if they are bothering you." If she said yes, better believe that S1 would have been given 20 minutes to say goodbye and leave or be escorted out.

We have families like that as well, but unfortunately most of the time our patients are vented or unable to make decisions on their own.

.......

And this is why I haven't transitioned to day shift. While we do have a pull out couch, it's typically not nearly as comfortable as a pts family's own bed.

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I can't beleive SS hasn't stepped in already. Nursing shouldn't have to deal with this one alone.

I gotta second and third the Ombudsman. They are there for you too. We've called them in situations like this before and they were totally on our side.

If you are part of a chain and have other supports...let them know about it too.

Stick to a routine with this patient/ family. That helps too.

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Well, I spoke with B today and he apologized for his sister. Calmed him down and explained that her care is no different than it is when he is visiting, and that it is quite possible that here and there she doesn't smell great - shirt that has no stains but should have been washed, just was cleaned up after an episode of incontinence and something lingered - and he calmed down a whole lot.

Lots of hand-holding. Now let's hope crazy sis didn't call the hot line.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, WCC.

I did not see the original post but, for one year we had a daughter of a resident that we ended up finally putting a "no trespass" order on her and she could not come in the building. Three times we allowed a separate agency to monitor visits in the lounge area, but those did not work out either. This poor resident was on hospice her final 5 months. Her daughter came in one time and called an ambulance to have her mother transported to a hospital, police were here too..... no transport done.

When the resident was actively dying, a decision was made to allow a visit.... did not work out and we had to keep her out. When the resident passed, she blocked the street so the heorifice could not move... police again.

Terrible thing for staff, and other family members.

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Good Lord, nocs4enuf. Mine are nothing!

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When a resident with cancer passed, her son went bezerk and said he was coming back to the facility with guns to deal with the people who killed his mother (us). He was told that if he came back, law enforcement would be called. All shifts were apprised to increase their security alerts and checks of the building, particularly on the night shift. One of my CNAs was so frightened, she wanted to go home. Nerves were frayed for several days.

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When a resident with cancer passed, her son went bezerk and said he was coming back to the facility with guns to deal with the people who killed his mother (us). He was told that if he came back, law enforcement would be called. All shifts were apprised to increase their security alerts and checks of the building, particularly on the night shift. One of my CNAs was so frightened, she wanted to go home. Nerves were frayed for several days.

That is truly unsettling. What's worse is that even though all shifts were told to increase their security alerts, none of these LTC facilities HAVE any security to speak of. Sure, the door locks at a certain time and requires a three digit keycode to get in (changed all too infrequently and all too often something silly like 2 3 4) and that's it. Staff is down to bare bones overnight and even during the day the doors are wide open and anything could happen.

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