The Family from Hell

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Thanks, but now I am removing identifying info.

:)

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

The family meeting sounds like a good idea...at least it shows that you're being proactive. The idea about appointing ONE family member to deal with is also a good idea. It's hard enough dealing with one crazy let alone 3. And, I agree with whomever suggested a different facility. At the family meeting, go over all their criticisms..is her skin intact? Has she lost a lot of weight? Hard as it is, stick to the facts and leave their emotions out. Then, if after all that you (or the DON) could say, "We have bent over backwards to address your complaints and concerns. Since nothing we have done seems to be enough for you, we would be happy to help find your mom a different facility." Good luck. You know that there are some families you couldn't please if you had a one to one with their mom.

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You know that there are some families you couldn't please if you had a one to one with their mom.

Heh. She was complaining about OTHER residents today. Someone needed to use the toilet. Um, an aide was already taking her.

D*** straight her skin is intact. I take pressure sores personally. ;)

The problem is that B has been deemed the one to speak for everyone but he is in FL for the winter so the sisters are carrying tall tales back to him - and one minute he says that they are crazy, and the next he's contacting a DIFFERENT person. What, he'll get a different answer?

GAH@

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Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.

We have a very difficult resident (A &O) with a very difficulty significant other. Kept calling state with abuse complaints and the state was coming every other month to check each complaint out (never once was substantiated). We tried all the family meetings, etc and nothing seemed to help. WE finally called the Ombudsman in and HE sat in on the careplan meeting. He reviewed our situations and her continued complaints and then gave the resident & family clearly defined expectations that were reasonable and also told them very bluntly that many of their issues were over the top and far from a definition of abuse. Haven't had a state complaint from her since.

The Ombudsman aren't just to help the resident, they can be a facility asset as well.

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The Ombudsman aren't just to help the resident, they can be a facility asset as well.

I'd have a reaaallly hard time making that lead balloon fly....

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Specializes in Home health.
Heh. She was complaining about OTHER residents today. Someone needed to use the toilet. Um, an aide was already taking her.

D*** straight her skin is intact. I take pressure sores personally. ;)

The problem is that B has been deemed the one to speak for everyone but he is in FL for the winter so the sisters are carrying tall tales back to him - and one minute he says that they are crazy, and the next he's contacting a DIFFERENT person. What, he'll get a different answer?

GAH@

At the family meeting, make sure you include B via conference call. That way, no one can carry the tall tales back to him.......... he'll be hearing it all for himself.

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At the family meeting, make sure you include B via conference call. That way, no one can carry the tall tales back to him.......... he'll be hearing it all for himself.

Ohhh, good thought!

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

If they are concerned about her hair being done, why don't they come in and do it? That could give them some control over something, I guess. Honestly, I don't think you will ever make them happy. At least not the sisters.

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Her hair is done every Tuesday. Last week she didn't want to get up and missed her appt. Today her daughter was giving her grief about it. She said, "But I LIKE having my hair done!"

Poor old gal.

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Specializes in Home health.
Ohhh, good thought!

It may prove to be an eye opener for him. Good luck, keep us posted!

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.
Her hair is done every Tuesday. Last week she didn't want to get up and missed her appt. Today her daughter was giving her grief about it. She said, "But I LIKE having my hair done!"

Poor old gal.

I know. All she wants is to be left alone. If I was 93, I wouldn't want people poking and prodding at me. There definately needs to be a family meeting set up so things can be laid out for the family explaining how things are done and expectations of their behavior.

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

I've called the Ombudsman on more than one occasion when I had a cookaloo resident or family. I had a woman who was on dialysis and she was diabetic so her diet was pretty restrictive and she was on a fluid restriction. We would literally bring her 3 or 4 different trays for every meal to choose from and she was still not happy. She called me a cheap bastard because I wouldn't buy a dialysis machine so she could have all the fluids she wanted. She regularly called the DPH to complain. We tried everything so I called the Ombudsman and told her the whole story. She met with the resident and from that point forward, the Ombudsman was on our side. I called another time when I was getting pressured to take a suicidal patient back from the mental hospital. They are not all busy body zealots and can often be an impartial party.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

I would not communicate with this family via e-mail. You do not want to leave a paper trail. The ombudsman is a great idea.

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